Save the Excuses and Look up Dog Videos

So, remember My Ex, who wanted to mend our relationship?

I was open to it and worked hard to remain open, because really, all I wanted to do was slam that door shut.  Lock it.  Throw away the key.  Add a chain.  Lock it.  Throw away that key.  Then put up bricks.

But, instead, I left the door open.

He set up a time to call me.

Waiting for him to call at Did That Just Happen blog

And didn’t call.

A few days later we connected.  Blah, blah, blah.  The discussion was had about how no one has time for anything anymore.  If it’s a priority, you make time for it.  I made it clear, I will never hold it against him if he misses a call, as it shows me where on his priority list I am.  It shows me how important this is to him… or not.

So, then he sets up a time for a second call.

Still waiting on that call at Did That Just Happen Blog

And maybe a 3rd call is set up.

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After a certain point I’m all:

Downton Abby is this an instrument of communication at Did That Just Happen Blog.gif

Now, blog friends, let me fill you in on a secret.

I was really rooting for My Ex.  I really, really wanted him to follow through.  I know that in the past I have provided many opportunities for him, I’ve opened the door and he hasn’t been able to step through.

But…

I really, really hoped this time would be different. As hard is was for me because I wanted to board the door shut,  I was championing his cause to my friends – I knew he could do it! He seemed really sincere and like he really wanted it!  I wanted it for him!  I can’t tell you how badly I wanted him to be able to make this work.  Not for me, but for him.  I felt he really needed this and it would be good for him.

In the end, I had to give up.  The second time it went 2 weeks past the time he set up to call, and he hadn’t, well, I can only hold my pom-poms so long.

Save the excuses, it's not about having time but making time at Did That Just Happen blog

He showed that mending the relationship was not a priority for him.  He showed it every time he didn’t follow through.  Every missed phone call and every unanswered text. No response is a BIG response in my book.

Priorities are making time for others at Did That Just Happen Blog

It is what it is – but I wanted to provide closure for y’all! Sometimes your phone will betray you and FaceTime your Ex and it will lead you on a grand adventure full of intrigue, mystery and suspense!  But, most days you’ll just use it to look up dog videos!

 

The Day I Said a Bad Word

There are two things y’all need to know about me.

First, I don’t use much bad language.  I’ve seen all the meme’s:

People who curse at Did That Just Happen Blog

But I’m from the school of thought that is more:

Intelligent people do not use profanity at Did That Just Happen Blog

(and the “-Me” credited in that quote is not Me, I found that on the internet and couldn’t track it back to the original source!  If you said this, let me know!)

And the second thing you need to know about me is:

I keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer at Did That Just Happen Blog

Yes, I’m that person!

Now that you know these two things… let me tell you how they relate.  And if foul language offends you, well, you shouldn’t have clicked on this blog when it is clearly about a day I said a bad word!

So…

The other day I got a text from my buddy, Bert.

Bad Word Day

So, that happened. My phone betrayed me.  It accidentally Face Time’d my Ex.

And I said a really bad word!!

And while I’m saying all the bad words in my head, I am sending my Ex a text and literally it says

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you, I was asking Siri to beatbox for me!”

Because that doesn’t sound fake AT ALL!!! 

But, he called, and I answered, and I kid you not, told me all about his day – like it hadn’t been years since we had talked!  Like it hadn’t been years since we had talked and he had said he was going to call.  And never did!

Okay, so this is my Ex from a long time ago, and while we weren’t together long, it was an intense relationship, and while I had the utmost respect for him, he and I both will admit that towards the end, well, we were young, tempers were strong.

For the most part, it’s been fine.  We work in the same industry but not in the same State (most of the time) and while we have run into each other at functions, it is rare.

And let me tell you, I swear I could be a secret agent, I am awesome at ducking and eluding capture!!

At least, I am, until my phone decides to betray me!!!! 

Back to the story.  My phone betrayed me.  I talked to my Ex.

For like an hour.

He wants to mend our relationship.

Not get back together, I was able to determine that in that phone call, but just to mend our relationship.

Dean Winchester says no at Did That Just Happen blog

I know that inside my head I was reacting like Dean Winchester – “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no no.  No, no. No”

What came out was “Sure, uh, let me process all this, but I can be open to it”

So that just happened.  And so far I’ve been really grown up about it.  A few friends that I’ve talked to have commented at how grown up I’ve been and how I’ve been handling it so very well, really mature about the whole thing actually.

I changed the ring tone for my Ex to dogs barking… cause he could still be a dog!

But no one needs to know that!!! 🙂

 

 

 

The Golden Apple

Loved this blog by Spirit Lights the Way!  I have read a few of my blog friends who are reaching for their authentic selves and discovering some push-back, and this shows us all why it’s important to keep to our true path! Love the line about stop worrying about our reputation with acquaintances! If you don’t already follow her, go stop by and enjoy The Golden Apple today and take a moment to just be mindful of who, and where, you are!

Be who you are at Did That Just Happen Blog
Source: The Golden Apple

Vegas Baby!

I survived my 40th birthday party, and despite what the commercials tell you – what happens in Vegas does not always stay in Vegas, especially since I have a blog! And, I’m going to fit all of the adventures into one post – so it will be long – try to hang in there!

First off – my practice packing came in handy! I managed to pack for the entire trip and still had plenty of room left over!

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 Thanks to all of you who provided packing tips and tricks – I’m really happy to now be the kind of person that can pack a bag and go!

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We had a total of 10 people, most of which had never been to Vegas, so the goal was to make sure they had a trip full of memories while we celebrated my birthday!  I had a list of “If we do this, then these items are all around it”.  So, if we go to Caesar’s to see the Fall of Atlantis, we should walk over to the Bellagio to see the fountains.  Several items all grouped together to consolidate travel time! I knew that Karen really wanted to ride the coaster at New York New York, and there was a new Hershey World open for those that didn’t want to ride or spend the time gambling.  The goal was to eliminate any “What should we do?” questions and have plenty of options to throw out when the question did arise! I was prepared! Which, if you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you’re probably not surprised by that fact!

The flight was uneventful – which is always a good thing! We landed and checked our bags with the bell man since it was too early to check into the hotel and then we headed across the street for a lunch buffet.  You have to be able to say that you had the buffet at Circus Circus – that’s just a must for any Vegas or Reno trip!

Best birthday present - free shuttle to and from the airport!

Best birthday present – free shuttle to and from the airport!

After checking into the hotel, we went to the Strip to catch the free show at Caesar’s, then we grabbed a bite to eat and walked over to The Bellagio.  We checked out The Conservatory, which was a beautiful display consisting of over 83,000 fresh flowers! It was amazing! I tried to get another group picture while there – and boy, did I get a couple of sour looks!  So, fine – don’t join in the group picture! That was the last time I asked for one!

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Party Bus the bellman found to haul all 10 of us to The Strip!

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Mom and Dad in front of the aquarium at Caesar’s.

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Free show at Caesar’s – The Fall of Atlantis

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That fire was hot!

 This is how you cross the street in Vegas… overhead walk-ways!

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Once it was dark, we headed out to catch the famous fountain show!  Two of the group decided to head over to Paris and go up to the observation deck to watch from above, since no one else was invited, I figured it had to be a little romantic get-away! 🙂 Nothing says romance like Paris!

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The next morning I was up and invited everyone to meet for breakfast, and half the group took me up on it.  It was so yummy! We took advantage of some of the coupons the hotel gave and ate at the pub – nothing is better than eating at local places!

Hello Wicked Vicky stack!

Hello Wicked Vicky stack!

The half that didn’t join us went to Denny’s.  And I quote “It was a bit more expense, but tasted just as good as the one at home.”

Really? A restaurant that you can eat at all of the time, and has locations in every city and they all create food from the same menu tasted just like at home? Do tell!  I giggled over that the rest of the trip!

Even though half the group decided to eat breakfast separate from us, I did a group text and invited them to the next thing we were thinking about doing – and they said “No thanks, we are headed to a casino”.

That was the casino that I had mentioned that we should hit first, as there were several activities that we all could participate in, but um, okay – you guys just go ahead.

The rest of us were still talking and I sent another text asking if the others wanted to get together later, catch a show or something.

To which the response was “No, we are good – we will just catch up with you later.”

Okaaaaaay.  I’ll stop asking if you want to do things together – and per your request, I’ll just wait until you are ready to catch up with me.  It’s not like it’s my birthday party or anything!

Yes, my feelings were hurt a bit, but it was also embarrassing! Hard to explain to mom and dad that half the group went off and didn’t invite anyone else!  Then, I felt horrible when my parents thought it was their fault! They thought the others didn’t want to hang because of them! I reminded my parents that the parents of the others are with us frequently, so that can’t be the reason, and if that was the reason, then I didn’t want to play with them, either! A day and a half later I was told it was a misunderstanding and they didn’t mean to not invite the rest of us, they just thought I would want to keep to my schedule.

I could see that reason if they had invited others and not just me, but I wasn’t the only one they didn’t invite.  And, they stuck to my schedule, I didn’t!  My whole trip was very much go-with-the-flow and do-what-feels-good!  On the other hand, everything I thought would be perfect do to on Day 2 – they did! And pretty much in the order I suggested it!

Fortunately, it didn’t mar the mood – our group had so much fun the rest of the day!  Mom, dad, Kevin, Sandi and I went downtown and had so much fun exploring! And, Sandi and I crossed Zip Line off my bucket list!

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Slotzilla even wished me a Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Me! :)

Happy Birthday to Me! 🙂

Then we played around in the Fremont district, and thanks to Nancy at My Year(s) of Sweat, we had the best lunch ever!  Half the fun of going out-of-town is to eat local and she suggested a restaurant that was one of the best we all had ever eaten at! Afterwards we walked through Container Park, which was a park made out of old shipping containers! It was amazing!!  And yes, I played in the big tree house!

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I don’t know if I ever had a better day!  We went back to our hotel in the afternoon to rest and then play in the pool – and guys – I walked right past RJ Mitte!! I really wanted to stop and see if he’d take a picture of me, but I also wanted to give him his privacy.  In the end, giving him his privacy won out – but if I had seen him again, all privacy was going out the window!

RJ Mitte

Walt Jr. in Breaking Bad – RJ Mitte

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My Tweet proving it was him! 🙂

Mom and dad took me to a nice dinner to celebrate my birthday, and then Dad, Kevin, Sandi and I went back down to Fremont to catch the light show… which was disappointing and exciting at the same time! I was expecting more of a lights and laser show – but it was actually a broadcast of a Bon Jovi concert!

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The next morning after a late breakfast, we were playing in the hotel and ran into some of the others that had declined to join us the day before, and well, they were just too tired and sore and worn out to do anything.  So, the same half of us loaded up and headed out! We hit the M&M store, Coke store, Hershey World, and probably half a dozen casinos to just wander around and check out.  It was pretty fun! And, yes, we played even more in the casinos! And, the beautiful fireplace shown… that was in a bathroom.  A bathroom!  I love the opulence of Vegas!

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Sigh, then it was time to head back. While we were waiting for my free shuttle birthday gift to show up, tons of people were headed to EDC, a techno rave that the Las Vegas Motor Speedway hosts every year.  Apparently it had a unique dress code… And while I was trying to discretely take some pictures, the four almost naked girls caught me – and agreed to pose!

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Then we loaded up and headed back to the airport.  I fell asleep briefly on the plane, just long enough to snore for everyone! It felt good to get home and sleep in my own bed, but, it felt even better to make some great memories! I am so very fortunate to have wonderful friends and parents that make my life so rich and full! And, a great sister that house and pet sit for me and my parents! That took a lot of  stress off knowing that she was there watching over things!

I heard from Travis before we got on the plane.  He had spent the week at Mascot camp, and he did make it home safely.  A dozen different schools were at the college for camp, and he was the only boy! 🙂  He did win the “Most Spirited” award – one of the few individual awards presented at camp! That was greatness, and he said that he had a really good time, so that makes me one happy mom!

If you made it this far – thank you for sticking by me!  And I hope you enjoyed my recap of Vegas Baby!

So, Maybe I’m a Bit Sentimental

So, maybe I am a bit sentimental.  Or, maybe it’s just this time of the year.  I love the holidays, once we hit October 1st, I’m on a high the rest of the year (of course, some of that could be the candy and breads and other goodies!).

Halloween is super fun, Thanksgiving is a great time to renew my vow to live a life of gratitude, but Christmas, Christmas is all about the family life I’ve made.  Not just the nuclear and extended family, but my friends that have become family, too.

We put up our tree yesterday.  I know it seems early; however, Thanksgiving comes late and well, it’s a lot of work to put my tree up and I want to enjoy it as long as possible! I’m sitting here with a nice bowl of chili, watching the Cowboys and letting the glow of the lights on the tree take me away! (And, well, because doing three things isn’t enough, I’m writing this blog post, too!)

Tons of memories are made this time of year, and in our family, our traditions have traditions! Every year when we were growing up, mom and dad would let each of us kids pick out an ornament for the tree.  You could track our lives via the ornaments and year after year as we were putting our special ornaments on the tree, one of us would occasionally hold up an ornament and go “oh, I remember when…”

I’ve carried this tradition on with Mr. T, and yesterday was filled of moments “Oh, this was when you did this” or “I made this back when…”

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Our tree is nestled in the corner of the living room, out of the way but still visible from every angle.

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Here is the little stained glass church that was one of my childhood ornaments.  It is the first ornament to go on the tree, period.  Nothing goes on until I have placed this little guy.  I absolutely love this ornament.  I don’t remember when I got it, but it will always be my favorite!

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Look! It has my name!  All the way back from 4th grade!! Which also gives away my approximate age for those of you good at math!

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Merry Kissmas! I got this ornament when I was a teenager – and you know you’re as old as me if you recognize the character!

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Here is a new ornament!  My friend Kari sent this to me all the way from Alaska!  It’s entirely too awesome for words!

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I bought this for Mr. T’s first Christmas – isn’t it adorable? I did have a traditional baby’s first Christmas ornament that was a beautiful blue china rattle sent to me by my friend Melissa; however, one year we dropped it and no amount of glue was fixing that!

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First off, yes, there are candy canes all over our tree.  I load the tree up with peppermint and mint chocolate candy canes.  Everyone has gotten used to this and almost everyone who visits automatically grabs one off the tree to enjoy – including me and Mr. T!

Nestled among the branches and candy canes is Elmo, the first ornament that Mr. T picked out all by himself.

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Here we have a cloths pin reindeer that Mr. T made when he was little.

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Even Spongebob and Patrick get in on the action.  And, to be clear – those are two separate ornaments, I realize now that it looks like they are attached, but they aren’t.  We also have Shaggy and Scooby doo and on the other side of the tree in a perpetual battle you will find Spiderman and Dr. Octopus.

Putting up the ornaments gives me time to reflect on years past, think about the upcoming year and to spend 30 minutes with Mr. T where all we have to do is enjoy each other and sing along with Christmas carols playing in the background.  We laugh and joke, reminisce and make plans and let the stress of the world melt away.

And then I put up another one of my ornaments… it pretty much speaks for itself!

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On a slightly related note – I now have to go search for Supernatural ornaments – cause I think that I’d enjoying looking at this every year! Maybe when I write my letter to Santa I’ll ask if he can just wrap up Dean Winchester and leave him under my tree!

Seriously, who wouldn't want to be him?

Blogging About Friends and Family

The other day I read this post “Should You Let the Cats Out of the Bag?”

I did giggle a bit as I read it because I related to several of the issues that come up when you blog about family and friends.

Do I use fake names? Check

Do I modify some of the details (that don’t impact the story)? Check

Do I ask if it’s okay if I tell the story? Check

I know my mom reads the blog, so trust me when I tell you that my blog is a constant stream of judgement calls.

So far, so good, right?

NOOOOO.  Guess who is the one person I never checked with to make sure they were okay with a starring role in my blog?  MR. T!!!

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Yes, that’s right, I can feel the “Mother of the Year” award slowly tightening like a noose around my neck…

Last night after dinner I looked over at my beloved son, of whom I’ve shared so much and crossed my fingers!

Hey, does it bother you that I blog about you?

The quizzical look I received did not bode well.

Why do you ask?

Great, now I have to admit that it never dawned on me to see how he felt about having his life shared.  Wonderful.  Could it get any worse?  So, I told him that I’d read this blog about checking with family and friends, blah, blah, blah, and I figured I’d better check with him.

He just chuckled and smiled at me.

I guess I’m good.

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Happy Birthday to my Brother

I’ve debated all morning long about writing this post.  There are several reasons not to:  I don’t want to upset my mom, I don’t know if I want to drag out my emotions and stomp all over them again and maybe others are tired of the subject matter.

So, mom, you probably should just stop now.  I’m not sure what I’m going to write, but if you must continue, probably should wait until you are off work.

These are my thoughts and emotions and I’ve shared everything else, I think that I want to share this with you, too.  And, if you are tired of the subject matter, I’ve decided that I’m actually okay with that!  It is okay if I write something that doesn’t connect with you because while I’d love to have a connection with every single person that reads this, it isn’t humanly possible.  Maybe I’ll connect with those that need to read this post today, and that is all that matters.

This morning in my prayers I said an extra one for my family today, and then I told my brother Happy Birthday and that I really missed him.  And I cried a little.  Lee would have been 29 today and after five months, it’s still hard that he is gone.  I deal really well with it on most days, most days I can see that I am getting stronger and able to handle his absence in my life, but I knew that today I wouldn’t be able to, that today I would struggle and today I will allow myself time to grieve.

It helps to have great family and friends in my life.  I’ve got a friend who is staying with me and willing to do anything, another friend that is coming over later to see me and another that told me if I needed, she would load up the kids and make the hour plus drive to be with me.  What blessings I have in my friends!  I am so very fortunate to have those around me that love and support me.

I’m very blessed, but they can’t fill the hole inside me.  They can comfort me when I cry, but they can’t stop the tears.  They can say the right thing and offer up the appropriate platitudes; however, the words aren’t a band-aid that immediately works on my heart.

Having said all of that – let me say this to anyone who has a friend that is grieving – don’t give up.  Keep showing your support, hold your friends when they can’t do anything but cry and keep talking.  While you can’t ease my pain, you make it tolerable.  You let me know that it is okay to have days where I struggle (and just as importantly it’s okay to have days when I don’t) and that there is no time limit on grief.  Whether it’s via text, phone, email or in person, the efforts that we all make towards each other shows our love.  The compassion and connection that we make with each other is what matters most in this life.  I probably won’t remember half of what you have told me, but I will remember the feelings you left me with.  I will remember that you were there when I needed you and in turn, I will be there for you.

And today I will allow myself to grieve just a bit that my brother isn’t here to celebrate his birthday and then I will celebrate that I had as many birthdays with him as I did.  I’ll play a little ZZ Top as he got me that CD for one of my birthdays and I will be okay.

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(Image courtesy of liveluvcreate.com)

If you don’t know the story, click here to read Then He Kissed the Back of my Hand.