I’ve been working very hard at not comparing myself to others. In fact, it was just over a year ago that I shared this journey of growth with you, and it’s not easy, but I’ve worked hard, and while I still slip up, I am happy to admit that I am much better about not judging myself!
Like most things, you don’t always notice what a difference is being made when you make it in small steps. Because I have just been taking baby steps in my self improvement, and because I’ve been so focused on becoming a better Me, I hadn’t realized how far I have actually come…
…until the other day. All of the sudden, every where I went I was hearing people talking to each other.
“Wow, that sounds like a lot”
“You look tired.”
“You look stressed”
“That sounds really busy.”
I even said some of those same things to others.
And the answers got me thinking.
Why doesn’t anyone say that to me? Why don’t I look tired? Basically, from what I heard, they weren’t any busier than I was. It was all different things, but basically the same. Everyone I talked to, who told me how busy they were, I just smiled and nodded and walked away a bit perplexed.
If we are doing basically the same things, why don’t I look tired? Why aren’t people telling me ‘oh you poor soul, how do you keep up?’
As a side note – here is a prime example of my struggle not to compare. I was walking a fine line between judging activities and wondering what was different in my life! It’s not easy, but I really was trying to reflect on what was different!
I tried talking to Mr. T about it.
Then I remembered that he was a 16 year old boy.
That was about as helpful as windshield wipers on a goats butt.
(Is that too crass? I’ve been trying to find a way to work that into a conversation for about 3 years now!!)
Needless to say, as much as I love him, he wasn’t helpful!
So I called up a friend of mine and regurgitated all of these thoughts and feelings and not-that-I’m-comparing-but-what-is-wrong-with-me statements.
And she summed it up in one sentence.
I’ve left the busy behind.
In my efforts to not compare myself to others, I realized that I didn’t have to compete with how I spent my time. And if it’s not a competition, then I can do what I want.
I have been able to fill my life doing things I love, things I want to do, things that bring me joy! Yes, I still have crap that fills my everyday life, but I get to balance that with fun. When I stopped comparing what I was doing to what others were doing, I was able to take the “busy” out of my being busy.
I still have times that I go non-stop, but the difference is, I have given myself permission to have fun. I have given myself permission to do what brings me joy and bliss and peace.
So, I’m happy to report that there is a massive unexpected side effect happening in my life, not only am I better at not comparing myself to others, I’ve discovered a new joy and unexpected balance in my life.