On SCOTUS and Single Parents

I have mentioned several times over the past year how I’ve become aware of how we bring our own assumptions to the table.  We see things as colored from our lives and not always how they really are.  I’ve shared that this happened to me, someone close to me made an assumption that was very real and valid in their reality; however, it wasn’t what was really happening, and it was a big eye opener for me.  I’ve worked very hard to leave my assumptions behind and see things as they are today, to see people as they are today.  Not as they were when I met them, or last year, or last week, or even yesterday.  Part of my journey to live in the Now has really focused on this.

Allow me to reintroduce myself did that just happen blog

Apparently some days are better/easier than others.  And that’s okay, it helps me learn and grow, but man, those off days…

I stole the title of this blog post from Deborah at The Monster in my Closet for several reasons.  First off, it’s a kick butt title, secondly, it totally applies and third, you MUST go read her blog post by the same title.  

I have massive respect for The Monster in my Closet, she has a wonderful life story, and while we are on different paths, it has been fun to read about her journey.  One of my favorite parts is that she welcomes discussion.  I watch her communicate with others and I really enjoy seeing the different view points and perspectives that show up on her blog!

She posted something a few days ago, on a different media outlet, that immediately sent me over the edge.

And not in a good way.

When the Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage, The Monster in my Closet read it.  Not skimmed it, not read what others posted, but read the actual words set forth by SCOTUS (Mad props for that!) and in that ruling, she found a beautiful paragraph that addressed the children of gay couples, and how SCOTUS took them into consideration.

And, it was beautiful, I found it awesome that the children were addressed; however, there was some verbiage included that pretty much had me reverting to an older version of myself, getting defensive and well, with hands shaking and stomach quivering, I shot off a response.   I was upfront and told her that I recognized I was taking this single paragraph out of context – and I was, but it sure didn’t stop me!

Excluding same-sex couple from marriage thus conflicts with a central premise of the right to marry.  Without the recognition, stability and predictability marriage offers, their children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.  They also suffer the significant material costs of being raised by unmarried parents, relegated through no fault of their own to a more difficult and uncertain family life.

Stigma? Somehow lesser? Material costs of being raised by unmarried parents???

whaaaat? And how SCOTUS decision didn't change my family | Did That Just Happen Blog

I was okay until they threw in “unmarried parents” and then all of the sudden, the ruling became personal.  I have worked so very hard to make sure my son doesn’t feel a “stigma” because he comes from a “lesser” family because he is being raised by an “unmarried” parent.

That was a shot to my heart.  How could I NOT read that as an affront to all I have worked for for 16 years?

No stigma for single parents | Did That Just Happen Blog

There is no stigma there, unconventional, yes.  But a lesser family?!? Them are fightin’ words!! 

Again, in one part of my brain, I recognized I was taking it out of context, but apparently we have found the issue that is still, well, an issue for me! Deborah and I exchanged several emails as we discussed this – not mean or nasty, but genuine emails with a real discussion.  And here is the best part.

While I knew in part of my brain that it was okay, I just couldn’t get the rest of me there.  I was fixated on those words.

Stigma

Lesser

Then Deborah sent me a link to an article posted on the American Academy of Pediatrics site.  And I cried.

AAP has supported families in all their diversity, because the family has always been the basic social unit in which children develop the supporting and nurturing relationships with adults that they need to thrive. Children may be born to, adopted by, or cared for temporarily by married couples, nonmarried couples, single parents, grandparents, or legal guardians, and any of these may be heterosexual, gay or lesbian, or of another orientation. Children need secure and enduring relationships with committed and nurturing adults to enhance their life experiences for optimal social-emotional and cognitive development. Scientific evidence affirms that children have similar developmental and emotional needs and receive similar parenting whether they are raised by parents of the same or different genders.

The rest of me finally caught up.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  My family is whole.

This is my family, I found it, all on my own.  Is little and broken, but still good.  Yeah, still good.  Did That Just Happen Blog

Pamper Yourself Giveaway

*****CONTEST CLOSED***** WINNER WAS ME, MYSELF AND KIDS, THANK YOU MMK!

It has been a busy week and it is time to share the joy, so I am giving away gift cards to Starbucks and Panera!

I have been away at a work conference, it is an annual event and it is simultaneously the most exhilarating and exhausting event I attend each year! I get to learn a lot, get a ton of training and plenty of time to play catch-up with my colleagues.

I love hotel rooms. They really are my guilty pleasure.  I just feel different getting to stay in a hotel and I just love them! I’m very fortunate that my hotel room is usually paid for by a company that I work with, and this year it was a new company and I posted on Facebook that I was having a Cinderella moment!  

Cinderella moment and a giveaway at Did That Just Happen Blog   I had a living room.

 Not kidding when I say that this bathroom is about the size of my first apartment.
 And the bedroom, so luxurious! And do you see that chair?
 Yes, that chair! I’m so in love with that chair!
But it was late (late, late, late) nights and (way too) early mornings and when I wanted to sneak in pool time (or a nap) I actually had to work!

It was rough, I tell ya!

But I couldn’t even complain, all I could do was think about how fortunate I was to be able to attend and work in such pretty surroundings.

I felt very pampered and posh!

Now I want to share the love with you guys and give away a gift card to Starbucks and Panera Bread. It’s time for you to get a nice cup of coffee and a delicious treat and then curl up with a good book! Or a cool frappe and warm bowl of soup to enjoy before a bedtime bath!

The possibilities are endless!

Tell me what your favorite guilty pleasure is and you’ll be entered to win. Share for a double entry! Let me know your deepest secrets 🙂 and don’t forget to tell me if you shared! Good Luck!


***Wordpress, Starbucks and Panera Bread are not affiliated with this giveaway. It’s sponsored by my love for you! Contest ends Sunday June 28, 2015 and is open to residents in the U.S. and Canada. For my international readers, I love you but you don’t have Panera or Starbucks in some cases, so we will come up with the equivalent in a gift card or PayPal.

My Life in Day 5

It’s finally Day 5 of my photo challenge.

I have been challenged by Tracie at Life in the Wylde West to the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge.  “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph, and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

To see what I’ve posted previously, you can visit Day 1Day 2Day 3 and Day 4 by clicking on the links!

I did not make it consecutive and I failed to nominate anyone – but I’m still calling this complete! 🙂

The problem is, I have no clue what to post for my 5th day.  I have sat down several times and just drawn a blank, but the challenge has been looming over my head – so guess what? I’m not making a decision – I’m throwing in every photo I can!

My view on the way home; I live about 2 blocks from these guys.

The View on my way home | Did That Just Happen Blog

We did a painting class and got the cutest little instructor!

Painting class for Did That Just Happen Blog Cute Instructor at Painting Class | Did That Just Happen Blog

I went to a concert, For King and Country, and they were awesome!

For King and Country pre-concert | Did That Just Happen Blog For King and Country perform for Did That Just Happen Blog

So close I could smell the sweat!

For King and Country Concert | Did That Just Happen Blog

Night before cheer camp we had a dinner for the team

Cheer is Life at Did That Just Happen Blog

Mr. T and one of his teammates.  Aren’t they just awesome?

Cheer is Life | Cheer Camp | Did That Just Happen Blog

While Mr. T was at cheer camp, I bought new shoes 🙂

New shoes make me happy | Did That Just Happen Blog

And I happily proclaimed on Instagram that my job beats your job when the Chef made me a cinnamon chocolate brulee with orange whip.

Cinnamon Chocolate Brulee | Did That Just Happen Blog

Then, I saw this car the other day, and posted a challenge on Facebook “Name that Movie” and my cousin Wayne was all over it!  But, he and I are fierce competitors at our yearly trivia challenge at the Family Reunion, so I wasn’t surprised at all that he guessed first and guessed right!

Austin Powers | Did That Just Happen Blog

Oh, after all the rain we’ve received, and with even more to come, this was a welcome sight!

Rainbow just for Did That Just Happen Blog

And it all ended with this picture from Sunday.  I have my bible and iPad, coffee and candy, answering emails and working on Cheer and Snag.  If you wanted my life in one picture, this would probably be it!

View of my life | Did That Just Happen Blog

embracing my bitchy resting face

I know I owe you Day 5 of my photo challenge, but I am so struggling to narrow it down… and that literally has consumed my thoughts when I sat down to blog – so I am giving you NancyTex and her lesson on BRF, from which I, too, suffer.
You can send your compassion in the form of Starbucks gift cards, or just go leave her a comment.

My Son Loves Me

I have been challenged by Tracie at Life in the Wylde West to the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge.  “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph, and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

To see what I’ve posted previously, you can visit Day 1Day 2 and Day 3 by clicking on the links!

Day 4:

My son loves me so very much.

I mean look at this picture of us, it’s clear to see how much he loves me!

Me and Mr. T

He loves me so much that we even dress alike!

And we hold hands!

It’s enough love to make a momma cry!

And it’s a lie!

It’s all lies!!!

I’m not kidding, that photo is one big work of non-fiction!

Yes, we were dressed alike, but it was the day of a Cheer fundraiser, and dressing alike is pretty mandatory, all of the parents were in their cheer shirts.  It wasn’t just me.

And yes, we are smiling and holding hands – but only because he didn’t want to smile.  He was being an I’m-not-going-to-smile-in-this-picture teenager, and well, my hair looked too good for him to not smile!

So, I started tickling him.

He in turn, grabbed my hand to hold it still and his girlfriend timed it perfectly when she hit the shutter button!

Just remember this next time you see a picture on Facebook, what looks like a loving family could turn out to be a pack of lies! 🙂

Fears are Validated

I have been challenged by Tracie at Life in the Wylde West to the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge.  “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph, and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

I figure it’s Day 3, I should change up the opener some… but really, I have no idea what to say – but you can go visit Day 1 and Day 2 of the challenges to see how awesome of an opener I originally wrote.

Day 3:

Here is the text message where my dad discovered that my sister loves me more than she does him.

text message Did That Just Happen

And yes, half of our text messages are like this.

What starts as an innocent “don’t let me scare you I’m coming in the house soon” devolves into “my sister loves me more than you” message.  I would like to say that this was the only time our text messages have devolved, but alas, I’d be lying!

And yes, a screen shot totally counts as a photograph.  It’s in my camera roll, so it counts!