My new New Year’s resolution

So, now you know all about me being a Yes Man.  And how it’s about become second nature to me.  So, that means it’s time to work on more self-improvement.  Ugh.

I’m technically going to make it my New Year’s Resolution, even though I’m not waiting until the New Year, cause hey – we all get asked that question – “did you make any resolutions?”  Why yes I did, I just implemented them months before you thought to ask me about personal growth!

I have to stop comparing myself to other parents, other women, other people in general.  I read somewhere that the fastest way to pop your own bubble of joy is to compare yourself to others (I’m paraphrasing, of course!).  It’s human nature to look around and compare yourself.  She is thinner than I am, He is funnier than I am.  I’m a way better singer than they are (okay, that one’s not true, I’m a horrible singer, but I OWN it!), my hair is prettier than theirs, they have a better house, they have a bigger house, they have more money than I do.  Wow, they spend more time with their kids than I do.

Despite what I’ve written, I’m not a very judgmental person.  I’m a big believer in “if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you” and “whatever floats your boat” because I recognize that we are all different and unique individuals, so when I tell you that I compare myself to others, I’m not judging them – I’m judging myself.  And that’s not fair.  I spend so much of my life accepting others for who they are, and forgiving them for what they do – why don’t I accept myself? Why don’t I forgive myself?  Okay, it could be any number of things and reasons why, but one day, I just decided those reasons don’t matter.  It’s not who I WAS, it’s about who I AM.

Right then and there I made a conscience effort to notice when I was comparing myself to others.

So, I’ve been making an effort, paying attention to my thoughts.  My goal is to stop the comparisons and replace it with gratitude for all that I’ve been blessed with.  It’s time to focus on all I have, and not where I feel I’m lacking.  It’s time to focus on all of the good I can do with what I have been given, it’s time to focus on the fact that I am ME, and I will never be a mom that has freshly baked cookies and milk waiting on my son when he gets home – but, thank God, that’s not the kind of mom he needs.  He needs the kind of mom that I am, the one that he knows without a doubt will be there for him. Cookies or not.

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Mr. T driving the boat on our annual day at Lake Grapevine with friends a few years ago.  🙂

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9 thoughts on “My new New Year’s resolution

  1. I think most of us compare ourselves with others and it really does burst your own bubble of joy. Thanks for putting into writing what we all could work on within ourselves. At least it is true for me. Thanks for sharing! But I am bummed, no cookie and milk if I come over? 😦 hahaha

  2. It is so true that when we look at others and compare, we are judging ourselves. I love both this and the Yes Man post, I missed those…I don’t think I was blogging yet when you first posted them. Anyway, it is nice to read a bit of your journey! I have learned to say no to things that don’t make me happy (i,e, obligations i used to always say yes to) and yes to things that do that I used to hold back on for crazy reasons that still make no sense.

  3. I think women are prone to comparing themselves to other women, so yes, you’re definitely not the only one. I do that too and being Catholic, I feel guilty about it all the time. Like you I should also remind myself to focus on the small joys I have in my life right now, especially since we’ve been experiencing disappointments one after the other, sigh. Here’s to small joys! 🙂

  4. Excellent post. I’m glad you reblogged it for us to read. It can be so hard to not compare ourselves with others. Almost always, there is something that someone else has that we would like for ourselves. It could be clothes, a house, a car; any number of things. The one lesson that we must learn, is to stop looking at what we don’t have and be content with what we *do* have. Regardless of my post today, I’m still learning this too.

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