3 Months, 2 Tickets and 1 New Roommate

Happy Pre-Friday everyone!

Twice in the past month I’ve been asked if I miss blogging.  And, I do and I don’t.  So instead of pondering it, I am taking it as a sign and shooting off a quick note to y’all.

1 new roommate.  One of Mr. T’s friends has moved into my guest room.  Over the summer there was no telling who was going to come walking out of that room, but that settled down when one of his friends lost his place to live.  The kid is working and going to school, so I’m happy to provide him a safe place to stay.  No matter how weird it is to have another person in the house!

2 red light tickets!  Count them, two!  Mr. T is now aware of places where he frequents that have red light cameras.  He and I talked about it, he felt that he has just gotten complacent behind the wheel. I had to giggle, because he is the most conscientious driver I know, the tickets surprised me to no end.  Needless to say, he’s been coming to complete stops here lately!

3 months… well, I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months.  That still feels weird to say.

Dating. 

But, it’s been fun.  It’s been different.  I’ve enjoyed it. We communicate, a lot.  In a healthy way.  We go get froyo almost every Friday night (frozen yogurt for those that aren’t constantly surrounded by teens and 20 year olds!)  and we go on adventures.  We’ve toured Texas Motor Speedway, and he’s met my family.  Which as you know, my family counts as an adventure some days!

I was emailing a friend the other day, and she was awesome, when I told her that Adam, his name is Adam by the way, and I were in no rush, she goes “I think time and going slow is good for you now. These past couple of years have been such states of transition. You probably are also getting to know yourself in all of these new dynamics.”

Yes, yes I am getting to know myself again.

Speaking of new dynamics.  Mr. T has graduated high school and started college at a small private university downtown.  He knew that he would be living at home his freshman year, so he sold his Expedition and bought a Prius hybrid.  I am so proud of that kid, he saved up his money, he planned ahead knowing that this purchase was coming and he pulled it off!  Since he was commuting, he wanted to save as much money in gas as he could – and even with adding a car payment, the car payment and gas for the Prius was less than gas in the Expedition!  (And the Expedition went to a woman who it was a true blessing for, that was not planned by us, but you could tell there was a Higher Power involved on that deal!)

Day 2 of college was also his 18th birthday.  My lil’ bit is no longer little.

I’m actually okay with that.

So, that’s my 3, 2, 1.  What’s up with you?

 

The Day I Said a Bad Word

There are two things y’all need to know about me.

First, I don’t use much bad language.  I’ve seen all the meme’s:

But I’m from the school of thought that is more:

(and the “-Me” credited in that quote is not Me, I found that on the internet and couldn’t track it back to the original source!  If you said this, let me know!)

And the second thing you need to know about me is:

Yes, I’m that person!

Now that you know these two things… let me tell you how they relate.  And if foul language offends you, well, you shouldn’t have clicked on this blog when it is clearly about a day I said a bad word!

So…

The other day I got a text from my buddy, Bert.

So, that happened. My phone betrayed me.  It accidentally Face Time’d my Ex.

And I said a really bad word!!

And while I’m saying all the bad words in my head, I am sending my Ex a text and literally it says

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you, I was asking Siri to beatbox for me!”

Because that doesn’t sound fake AT ALL!!! 

But, he called, and I answered, and I kid you not, told me all about his day – like it hadn’t been years since we had talked!  Like it hadn’t been years since we had talked and he had said he was going to call.  And never did!

Okay, so this is my Ex from a long time ago, and while we weren’t together long, it was an intense relationship, and while I had the utmost respect for him, he and I both will admit that towards the end, well, we were young, tempers were strong.

For the most part, it’s been fine.  We work in the same industry but not in the same State (most of the time) and while we have run into each other at functions, it is rare.

And let me tell you, I swear I could be a secret agent, I am awesome at ducking and eluding capture!!

At least, I am, until my phone decides to betray me!!!! 

Back to the story.  My phone betrayed me.  I talked to my Ex.

For like an hour.

He wants to mend our relationship.

Not get back together, I was able to determine that in that phone call, but just to mend our relationship.

I know that inside my head I was reacting like Dean Winchester – “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no no.  No, no. No”

What came out was “Sure, uh, let me process all this, but I can be open to it”

So that just happened.  And so far I’ve been really grown up about it.  A few friends that I’ve talked to have commented at how grown up I’ve been and how I’ve been handling it so very well, really mature about the whole thing actually.

I changed the ring tone for my Ex to dogs barking… cause he could still be a dog!

But no one needs to know that!!! 🙂

 

 

 

February 2016

Guys, nothing funny is happening in my life.

I’m not having many “Did That Just Happen” moments right now.

And, (with a worried sigh), I’m afraid I might not have many more.

You see, Mr. T has picked a college.

It is all becoming very real that the little boy I JUST HAD is growing up.

I made him stop and take a picture with me at a college visit the other day.

“Mom, we don’t need to now, there will be time later.”

“Get your butt over here and take a picture with me! Don’t make me go all mom on you!”

And you know what – there wasn’t time later!

Time is not linear for me, when I say it happened the other day, I could mean yesterday, or 6 months ago.  I don’t waste space in my brain for things like “time”; however, there is a pressure in my chest that tells me – either I’m having a heart attack – or that time is currently paying very close attention to me!

Here is the super-duper good news, though.  My son is bound and determined to expedite his college time and leave with the least amount of debt as possible.  He has saved up to take classes at the community college during the summer, and he is filling out every scholarship form there is… and… he is applying for the housing waiver.  He will live close enough to the school he wants to attend that he can commute.

He won’t be moving into the dorm (fingers crossed) in the Spring.  He’ll be staying at home.  And, while he is never here now, and will probably be here less in the future, it still gives me some peace that I’ll have a little bit longer to yell at him to not leave dirty dishes in the sink or to pick up his shoes from the living room floor because I tripped over them and almost broke my neck!

I look forward to that.

OH! But wait!  The other day I bought a new washing machine!  And Mr. T had exactly 1 hour in between Job #1 and Job #2, so he met me at Lowe’s to load up the machine (it wouldn’t fit in my car) and drive it home – and he unloaded it and set it in place for me before taking off to head back into town for work.

So, I made him some homemade donuts! 

Double chocolate donuts with a plain glaze.

Yeah, that just happened!

(and if you follow me on Pinterest, you’ll find the inspiration for that recipe, which of course, I modified.  Almond milk instead of regular, greek yogurt instead of sour cream and truvia instead of sugar… and they still turned out divine!)

Oh! One last thing – one of my SMART goals is to hit 50 miles per month with my running.  

Not only did I meet my goal, I increased my mileage from January, so #DoubleWin.  This month also included a longer run, added in an extra half mile towards the end of the month – and it was scary but it went really well!  I think I’ll work in a few more long runs now and work on increasing my stamina.  It’s been feeling good, and I haven’t always been able to say that about running!

Maybe I have a few more moments left in me yet!

January Recap

I can’t think of a catchy title for this blog… and since it will be a smorgasbord, I figured that “recap” is fine.  Okay, disclaimer over with it! Let’s get started!

One of my SMART goals this years, under “Personal Betterment” is

I welcome January 2017 in as a sharp-dressed woman, as I have made an effort to be more presentable, and accountable in my attire and stepped outside the house always dressed for success.

Honestly, I really thought this was a good idea.

And I’m not ready to abandon it yet… but…

Yeah, that happened.

This month, we celebrated my mom’s birthday with a family gathering.  Mr. T had to work, so he spent time with her and dad earlier in the day and had a pleasant lunch with his grandparents, but since I was busy, I wasn’t there and don’t have any pictures – so we’ll start with a picture I snapped of the two of them a few days prior!

They were having an intense discussion! Cassius, Lee’s boxer, came over for a visit, and if you look closely, even Shorty was taking part!

It was a fun gathering, and at the end of the night, it was time to take some pictures!

The best part was when Grammy wanted some pictures with her grand-kids.  This is what we posted:

This is the behind the scenes of what all we have to go through in order to get just a few good shots! I am sure this is something most of y’all can relate to!!

Notice how we were all jumping in to help.

Yeah.  Not so much.  We are more of a sit-back-and-laugh family!!

Remember that I mentioned being busy that morning so I couldn’t join Mr. T during his visit with his grandparents?

Boom! First 5k of the year done! *happy dance* Heroes for Hope run benefiting St. Jude Children’s Hospital.

BA ran with me, and after we had cooled down, grabbed some food and water, I checked, and they didn’t have a computer set up for us to check our official times, but they gave me the site I could log onto later – and then pointed me in the direction of the guy that had the print out!

I did not medal.

Well, if I’m not getting a medal, then we could go.  Not going to lie, there were 30 more minutes to go until the ceremony, and I couldn’t hang!

The next day I got on and checked the official time.

I did not medal, BUT…

I knocked 3 minutes off my race time!! 3 minutes y’all!!  It was insane!  I did start way too fast, and it came up and bit me in the butt at the 2.5ish mark, but again, I’m just amazed at the love of runners, I was struggling, and another runner came up beside me and slowed down, told me I could do it – and then stayed to run with me for a bit!  She and I kept together for a good bit, and it felt good.  I love the sense of community that has come with running, I really do!

As long as I was checking my time, I pulled up BA’s time.

And then I called him and asked “When I was checking the time sheet for me – did you happen to check it for you?  I think you medaled.”

No, he hadn’t checked the sheet, so I contacted the race coordinator, and sure enough, BA came in 3rd place in his group!  They are mailing his medal – it took several hours for it to really sink in with him, but all of the sudden, I think I can convince him to run with me again!

 

 

 

 

Tense

First, let me apologize.

I am not a niche blogger.

If you came here because I once wrote a funny post,

a running post

or maybe a cooking post

– and you wanted more of that, on a consistent basis, this might not be the place for you!

And, I truly feel badly over this!  I’d love to write about running. Or cooking.  And heavens knows I’d actually love to be funny!  But alas, I’m a storyteller.  I spin a good yarn.

But that is neither here nor there – I just felt the need to get that out!

Plus Eye of the Tiger is totally my Power Song and when I saw that e-card, well, it had to be utilized!

But today I want to talk about tense.  And this doesn’t fall into any category listed above!

noun

1.

(grammar) a category of the verb or verbal inflections, such as present, past, and future, that expresses the temporal relations between what is reported in a sentence and the time of its utterance

I was talking to a colleague the other day and said “It’s okay, I can say that, my brother was Korean”

He WAS Korean. Like overnight he all of the sudden wasn’t anymore.

I was trying to say that my brother is no longer with us… but he is still Korean, dead or alive – and y’all I have let this twirl and twist around my head for days… I am not sure how to relate that my brother is Korean, but no longer with us, without going into a massively long explanation!

Am I the only one that runs across stuff like this and then freaks when they can’t figure it out? Or, fingers crossed, has someone figured this out for me already?!? Is there an answer? A cheat sheet? Anything? Cause the tense makes me a bit tense!!

Happy Tuesday everyone! 🙂

The Waiting Game

 

 

 

 

 

 

While this post doesn’t have any details, I am NOT doing a vaguebook, er, vaguepost.

I’m not sure vaguepost was a thing before, but it is now!

Because we all now I’m such a trendsetter.

But I am stuck in a waiting game!  Like an endless loop of waiting and waiting and waiting.  And waiting

Have y’all met me? Type A control freak that makes a decision faster than most should ever be made? Yeah, me.

I don’t like to wait.

So, I am opening myself up to the experience that will eventually make its way to me, and I hope to learn something in the process. I am practicing letting go – which in my case, is that I’m not attached to the outcome.  And I’m doing pretty good at it…

But seriously, who drags stuff out? Don’t tell me on Monday you’ll call this weekend… I want to know now!!

This is life altering stuff.  Don’t make me wait!

Okay, maybe not life altering.

Okay, not life altering at all, pretty much not important to anyone besides me and like 2 people, but that’s not the point!! Waiting should be on the list of cruel and unusual torture punishment!

Look! I found a gif of Dean Winchester – waiting!  It has been way too long since Supernatural made an appearance over here! (And oh my gosh, they came back from their midseason break with a bang!)

So, on one hand:

Okay, I’ll wait.  But on the other hand:

Well, I don’t want my chance to go by!

But then, there is patience, and well, that applies to every day (and I’m way better about acting good while waiting!)

(I don’t think this post should count towards how I act when waiting… but, if you can’t see me constantly tapping my foot, then it might not be happening – so maybe this post isn’t me being impatient and bringing y’all along for the ride, maybe I’m just sharing my life!)

Who am I kidding – I’m impatient and bringing y’all along for the ride!!

I sense my new motto!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

And yes, all is well, no one is sick or dying.  And in the grand scheme of things, I’ll have forgotten this by next week… the point really is just how I’m not a fan of waiting! When I went back and read this, I realized I might need to clear that up!

Experience Matters

Want to know a secret?

I didn’t go to college.

Well, I didn’t go to more than 1 semester of college.

We moved. Life happened.  Shrug.

I never really worried about it, there have been a couple of jobs that wanted college degrees, but we were able to count my work experience in lieu of a degree and I have managed to get along just fine in life.

This this started happening:

Acceptance letters have started coming in for Mr. T.

Our lives have been very focused on what colleges he wants to attend, what colleges are good fits, the program offerings, the degree program, what can he take at local community college and scholarships!

Lots and lots of scholarships!

The other night I attended a FAFSA overview at school.

College preparation checklist.

I’m pretty sure I will never be prepared!

Santa brought him a dorm fridge at Christmas.

And he got a small vacuum, lots of tupperware and some command hooks.

Time to get ready for dorm life!

This is a great experience, and if he gets good scholarship money (can we all just pray for this, please?) he’ll most likely be required to live on campus.  And we are excited and ready for this!

But the other day, we were talking, and he goes, “I’ve narrowed my selection down, I want to go here, and I don’t think they have dorms, so I’ll be commuting.”

Okay, not going to lie, I am totally okay if he lives at home while attending college.

But I understand that experience matters – and I want him to have that experience.  I don’t want him to limit himself.  I want him to keep his options open, we haven’t even done FAFSA yet, so we have time.

I imparted to him how I didn’t want him to deny himself the opportunity, to deny the experience.  It was important to me that he do what he wanted, we would figure everything else out.

And – as often as I marvel at this kid – sometimes he actually reminds me that he IS mine after all, and he let me know, that the “experience” didn’t matter, his goal was to go, learn, and do what he needed to do in order to get what he needed to succeed in this world.  That he has been researching and talking to administration and other teachers, and he thinks that he has found the best route to take.  So, we talked about it.

It made sense.

We returned the dorm fridge the other day and got a gift card instead.  And that gift card will be set aside until it is time, and he can decide if he needs a fridge or if there are other supplies he will need for school.

I guess experience is what we make it.

We Can’t Hunt Moose

Me: I’m just so over everything. Let’s move.
T: Move where?
Me: Jamaica.
T: No
Me: Well, where do you want to move to?
T: Alaska
Me: Alaska is boring. There is nothing to do.
T: We can hunt moose
Me: I think they are a protected species, we can’t hunt moose.
T: Did I say we were doing it legally?!?

Yup, that’s my kid!

I finally got the picture back from Senior Night, when I got the privilege of walking Mr. T across the field.  It was pretty awesome!

You will never have this day with your children again.  Tomorrow, they’ll be a little older than they were today.  This day is a gift.  Breath and notice.  Smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention.  Relish the charms of the present.  Enjoy today, mama.  It will be over before you know.  -Jen Hatmaker.

 

On SCOTUS and Single Parents

I have mentioned several times over the past year how I’ve become aware of how we bring our own assumptions to the table.  We see things as colored from our lives and not always how they really are.  I’ve shared that this happened to me, someone close to me made an assumption that was very real and valid in their reality; however, it wasn’t what was really happening, and it was a big eye opener for me.  I’ve worked very hard to leave my assumptions behind and see things as they are today, to see people as they are today.  Not as they were when I met them, or last year, or last week, or even yesterday.  Part of my journey to live in the Now has really focused on this.

Apparently some days are better/easier than others.  And that’s okay, it helps me learn and grow, but man, those off days…

I stole the title of this blog post from Deborah at The Monster in my Closet for several reasons.  First off, it’s a kick butt title, secondly, it totally applies and third, you MUST go read her blog post by the same title.  

I have massive respect for The Monster in my Closet, she has a wonderful life story, and while we are on different paths, it has been fun to read about her journey.  One of my favorite parts is that she welcomes discussion.  I watch her communicate with others and I really enjoy seeing the different view points and perspectives that show up on her blog!

She posted something a few days ago, on a different media outlet, that immediately sent me over the edge.

And not in a good way.

When the Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage, The Monster in my Closet read it.  Not skimmed it, not read what others posted, but read the actual words set forth by SCOTUS (Mad props for that!) and in that ruling, she found a beautiful paragraph that addressed the children of gay couples, and how SCOTUS took them into consideration.

And, it was beautiful, I found it awesome that the children were addressed; however, there was some verbiage included that pretty much had me reverting to an older version of myself, getting defensive and well, with hands shaking and stomach quivering, I shot off a response.   I was upfront and told her that I recognized I was taking this single paragraph out of context – and I was, but it sure didn’t stop me!

Excluding same-sex couple from marriage thus conflicts with a central premise of the right to marry.  Without the recognition, stability and predictability marriage offers, their children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.  They also suffer the significant material costs of being raised by unmarried parents, relegated through no fault of their own to a more difficult and uncertain family life.

Stigma? Somehow lesser? Material costs of being raised by unmarried parents???

I was okay until they threw in “unmarried parents” and then all of the sudden, the ruling became personal.  I have worked so very hard to make sure my son doesn’t feel a “stigma” because he comes from a “lesser” family because he is being raised by an “unmarried” parent.

That was a shot to my heart.  How could I NOT read that as an affront to all I have worked for for 16 years?

There is no stigma there, unconventional, yes.  But a lesser family?!? Them are fightin’ words!! 

Again, in one part of my brain, I recognized I was taking it out of context, but apparently we have found the issue that is still, well, an issue for me! Deborah and I exchanged several emails as we discussed this – not mean or nasty, but genuine emails with a real discussion.  And here is the best part.

While I knew in part of my brain that it was okay, I just couldn’t get the rest of me there.  I was fixated on those words.

Stigma

Lesser

Then Deborah sent me a link to an article posted on the American Academy of Pediatrics site.  And I cried.

AAP has supported families in all their diversity, because the family has always been the basic social unit in which children develop the supporting and nurturing relationships with adults that they need to thrive. Children may be born to, adopted by, or cared for temporarily by married couples, nonmarried couples, single parents, grandparents, or legal guardians, and any of these may be heterosexual, gay or lesbian, or of another orientation. Children need secure and enduring relationships with committed and nurturing adults to enhance their life experiences for optimal social-emotional and cognitive development. Scientific evidence affirms that children have similar developmental and emotional needs and receive similar parenting whether they are raised by parents of the same or different genders.

The rest of me finally caught up.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  My family is whole.

My Son Loves Me

I have been challenged by Tracie at Life in the Wylde West to the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge.  “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph, and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

To see what I’ve posted previously, you can visit Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3 by clicking on the links!

Day 4:

My son loves me so very much.

I mean look at this picture of us, it’s clear to see how much he loves me!

He loves me so much that we even dress alike!

And we hold hands!

It’s enough love to make a momma cry!

And it’s a lie!

It’s all lies!!!

I’m not kidding, that photo is one big work of non-fiction!

Yes, we were dressed alike, but it was the day of a Cheer fundraiser, and dressing alike is pretty mandatory, all of the parents were in their cheer shirts.  It wasn’t just me.

And yes, we are smiling and holding hands – but only because he didn’t want to smile.  He was being an I’m-not-going-to-smile-in-this-picture teenager, and well, my hair looked too good for him to not smile!

So, I started tickling him.

He in turn, grabbed my hand to hold it still and his girlfriend timed it perfectly when she hit the shutter button!

Just remember this next time you see a picture on Facebook, what looks like a loving family could turn out to be a pack of lies! 🙂