The other day I read this post “Should You Let the Cats Out of the Bag?”
I did giggle a bit as I read it because I related to several of the issues that come up when you blog about family and friends.
Do I use fake names? Check
Do I modify some of the details (that don’t impact the story)? Check
Do I ask if it’s okay if I tell the story? Check
I know my mom reads the blog, so trust me when I tell you that my blog is a constant stream of judgement calls.
So far, so good, right?
NOOOOO. Guess who is the one person I never checked with to make sure they were okay with a starring role in my blog? MR. T!!!
Yes, that’s right, I can feel the “Mother of the Year” award slowly tightening like a noose around my neck…
Last night after dinner I looked over at my beloved son, of whom I’ve shared so much and crossed my fingers!
Hey, does it bother you that I blog about you?
The quizzical look I received did not bode well.
Why do you ask?
Great, now I have to admit that it never dawned on me to see how he felt about having his life shared. Wonderful. Could it get any worse? So, I told him that I’d read this blog about checking with family and friends, blah, blah, blah, and I figured I’d better check with him.
He just chuckled and smiled at me.
I guess I’m good.
Did That Just Happen Blog 
Oh yes – always the sticky question! My eldest knows but the younger is too little to understand. I do try to be mindful of what I post, though – sort of like how people use surrogate decision makers in case of accident or terminal illness…
I think it is all about balance, and hopefully I’m making the right decision when it comes to what I blog about when my family is mentioned! 🙂
That stuff can get sooo tricky. My mom and friends are the only ones I really blog about in detailed terms. No fallout yet, but hey, there’s still time.
Lol. Yes, I agree! Sometimes I hit publish and then watch my emails to see if my mom is going to flip. So far she’s been pretty cool about it!
Hahahaha yeah it never really occurred to me to ask! No complaints yet…knock on wood!
Yeah, I’m going with the old adage that it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission! 🙂
Ooooh I like that idea! 🙂
I’ve told my son that I blog about him but he just doesn’t realize just how much. He knows about the blog and I guess one day, he’ll read it. I will say that I do my best not to tell any stories that would make him mad but my line might be different than his 🙂
LOL – that’s exactly what I’m thinking – my line and Mr.T’s are probably different! But, I’m okay with it — now. 🙂
I talked to the kids about it a couple of years ago and they were both fine with it. As a matter of fact, they’re proud of me for talking about our health issues; for being open and honest. Glad T is cool with your blog.
And I love that your kids are cool with it – I think that all three of you guys are making a difference in the world by sharing! I know it’s changed my life knowing you!
Aww, thanks, Kate. I don’t want the kids to feel ashamed of who they are and it’s my job, as their mom, to set that example first. One day we will meet and it will be great!!
It will! 🙂
I never asked my children either. They are kind of young. I wonder sometimes how they would feel if they could understand clearly what I am doing. I try to be conscious of what I am writing and not make it something too embarrassing for their future selves.
I think you do a great job of maintaining that balance. I don’t think that they would have any issues with their role in your blog!
Thanks. I hope your right. But I’m still not asking. Ha ha.
I have often wondered the same about what I write. I guess I feel that if our intentions are good and genuine than all is o.k. There is such a difference between good intentions and malicious intent. I have always found your blog to be very respectful of others.
Thank you! It’s so good to hear that from an unbiased source, as that is pretty much exactly what my goal has been!
Another one here who will never win mother of the year!
I’ve never asked my kids if its okay to blog about them. For me, my blogging is about my life. Since they play such a huge role in it, they are in it. But since my life also includes Exes (both mine and Hun’s), that add constant drama, I do not need any more drama added!!!
I know they know I blog about them (kids and exes), but so far there hasn’t been any backlash from any of them. I haven’t shared my blog with any of them, but did tell the kids I’d share with them once the youngest is an adult. There’s just too much in my blog that they won’t understand right now.
I’m okay with breaking this blogging “rule” for now.
Very true, but you have excellent nick names and are good at protecting their privacy. My sons nick name is a real nickname, so it’s not like I’m shielding him that much! (But of course, it’s a real nickname because I started using it when be was little to protect him… Does that count? Lol)
Of course, you and the other Divas play a big roll here sometimes, too, but I try and make sure you are okay with it and none of you have complained…. Or at least not to my face! 🙂
Lol!! No complaints from this side! 🙂
I’m glad Mr. T is ok with it! He has a virtual group of mamas that have his back 🙂 I guess it isn’t fair that I’ve never asked my two little ones, but my husband seems to be ok with it. I’m not sure how I measure up to those privacy standards. My stories are generally about me and my experience and my “characters” are usually somewhat vague, only involved in how they relate to my experience. I usually use fake names or initials but am def guilty of revealing names in comments with bloggers I learn to trust. But that is still not a good idea, its slip up on my part. While I try to maintain privacy, reading this post was a helpful reminder for when I get a little too comfortable.
It was a good reminder for me, too! Very seldom do I refer to Mr T by his name – but that’s more habit than anything else (years and years of trying to protect his privacy). I figure he’s 15 now, and it’s okay to have him more out there. I still probably should have checked…
In the comments I’m bad about using real names… I try really hard, but sometimes I slip and call you guys out!
Glad T was cool with the blog. It’s funny I feel like I am getting to know him through your writing and his reaction didn’t surprise me. He seems pretty easy going just like his mom 🙂
He is much more easy going… I still work on it most days! I do have to say that most of the changes I’ve gone through have made me a better person, and most of those changes are a direct result of him! 🙂 Plus, I’m awfully proud of him, so I’m glad he’s okay making frequent appearances in the blog!
Aww I can feel your love and know you are very proud of T. He is going to be a wonderful man and better yet a wonderful human being… just like his mom!
Thank you! 🙂
When I talk with Emily about my blog, I call it “our” blog. I have set some off-limit topics which I decided to keep off-limit as to not embarrass Emily as people we know read the blog. I also read posts to Emily and she suggest my next topic. This year, she’s reading post at school with her EA… They made sure to confirm with me that it was ok. Emily loves being the star of our blog!
That’s awesome! I respect the boundaries – I have some, but not many – and broke one of them the other day! I know that T has joked “Remember this so you can blog about it later” so he knows, but I wasn’t sure how much he knows… but apparently he’s okay, and I feel better for having double checked!
I wonder if T would like to write his own post one day? I think that would be fun!
I’m also glad that Emily has such a big part in your blog, I’ve loved getting to know her through you! She is an amazing kid!
Phew……thank goodness for that….the alternative reaction doesn’t bear thinking about!
I know!!! I would have been in such trouble had the answer been different!!
Hahaha that e-card at the end. I lol’d at my desk!
Thanks! I died laughing when I saw it too and had to use it! 🙂
I’ve crossed the line in the past, and caused nuclear fallout. It never ceases to amaze me how much effort some people will put into finding you on the internet, and forensically analysing everything you post…
So true! My mom did email me (seriously, I swear the email came in just seconds after I hit publish!) after she read it and told me exactly which post she had an issue with! At least it gave her the freedom to let me know! Thank goodness it was only one post that she had taken and issue with! I’d much rather have that than those people trying to hunt me down and burn me at the stake because they inferred something in my writings!