When Guided Meditation Fails

We’ve discussed before that I am de-cluttering my life.  Y’all were with me for the de-clutter challenge, which I won and failed at the same time!

Getting rid of things is the easy part.

Getting rid of the million of repetitive thoughts that crowd my brain, not so much!

I have a very monkey brain.  It’s all over the place, never settling in one spot for long.

I don't mean to interruptPart of my declutter is trying to deal with those thoughts – especially the repetitive, redundant ones. I don’t need to think the same thought 100 times in the space of 5 minutes. Which happens. Frequently.

To help combat this, I’ve added meditation to my daily life.

For someone who doesn’t sit still very long, this has been a challenge.

oh look a squirrel

Alas, it’s important to my growth, so I’ve powered through.  I started small; just a few minutes at a time.  I found a few mantra songs that were longer and I used them.  I found a comfort in the meditation. (It probably didn’t hurt that I usually did it immediately after my yoga class, but I’m still taking the Win!)

I tried a guided meditation the other day. Thank you YouTube.

It wasn’t bad.

I thought, let’s try more of those!

Below is today’s meditation and my thoughts as I sat there in a very “om” state of mind! Let me remind you – there aren’t supposed to be any thoughts happening, the goal is to clear my head… Okay, we are on the same page, let’s begin!

You are in a  big forest, you are surrounded by beautiful greenery.  You slowly walk deeper into the forest. It is lush and green all around you.

Okay, I’ve been in a forest voice over guy.  I used to live a 2 minute horse back ride from the tree line of a massive forest.

It’s not green and it’s not lush.

A forest has trees and these trees grow tall and block the sunlight from reaching the ground, so a forest, is more brown.  You’ll have some patches of green, but not lush green grass.  Now, if we were in a meadow, yes, there would be green, but deep into a forest, the only green you’ll see is moss.

Ah! Moss!  Okay, now I see green, I’m picturing lots and lots of moss.  I’m focused on my breathing.  I’m back in the zone.

You see a path.  A beautiful green path through the forest with tall trees on both sides.

Again with the green – if it is a path, the obviously the green has been worn away from feet walking the path! Also, it’s not green deep in the forest, but okay, not going through that again.  There is a path.  “hi path! good to see you”.  Okay, breathing in, breathing out.  I got this.

As we begin to walk, we notice the joy within, to be, in this place, this forest, within nature.

Okay, I’m back in the zone, focused on my breathing, I got this! Let’s go voice over guy, I’m ready to meditate! I’m back in the forest, I see the moss, I step over a log, we are GOOD!

As we take this path, we realize how happy we are

Crap, you didn’t tell me I was supposed to take the path! Now I have to run back to where the path is.  Why didn’t you tell me to take the path? I would have taken the path! Am I weird that I didn’t automatically take the path? The rest of the forest looked so much more appealing than the well traveled road – er, path.  Robert Frost? I should look that up.  Path, path, path.  No, I am not happy to be in the forest, I had to run to get on the darn path.

Moving freely.  One step at a time.

No kidding one step at a time.  Who takes more than one step at a time? Is it even possible to take two steps at the same time? Isn’t that called a hop?

how to hop

Yeah… it was at this point I realized that there was no way I was reaching any type of zen moment and shut it off.

I mean really, shouldn’t some more research be done before they write out a script? And, seriously, guided meditation.

“Guided”

By not telling me to take the path you weren’t GUIDING me!

Obviously I need a different meditation today!

But seriously, am I that wrong for having not taken the path? He just said “you see a path”.  Yes, I saw it, but I wasn’t going to take it!  I bet the rest of you would have though, it would have been automatic for you guys to take the path, right?

Man, I need more zen.  zen-gardens-garden-p-hd-taringa-x-picture-212876

Does anyone else look at that and wonder how long before the rocks fall over?

No? Just me?

Figures.  Y’all are the ones that took the path when you were supposed to, too!

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39 thoughts on “When Guided Meditation Fails

  1. Okay, I read this earlier and forgot if I commented or not. Maybe it’s being held for moderation? Gahh I’m old! Hahahaah If I didn’t write my comment earlier, then here’s the comment I had in my head. You are not alone! I started doing yoga last year and I can’t stop laughing! I keep thinking how ridiculous I look! Hahahaah! Maybe meditation isn’t for us…… LOL

  2. You are hilarious Kate!!! I have tried meditation before but like you I cannot sit still for long and there is no way that I can empty my mind of the millions of things running through it at any given time. I don’t know that I would have taken the path, probably not lol

  3. You totally crack me up. I have also tried these guided meditations. Mostly just to calm down, I have lots of weird anxiety. Doesn’t help much because I like you, question the guided meditation, some of it seems so far fetched. Geesh. On a really cool note…I got your pretty heart card and the words were just so very nice inside. Thank you so much. xo

  4. Lol, just like me!

    Pretty recently on a course I did for work I had to participate in one mindfullness exercise again. It was the one were you have to imagine small toy bark boats going down the small river and then you are suppose to put a though on every sail and just let them slide past you and take a though per sail with them. But how in the world can you fit a thought on such a small sail? my thoughts are BIG! And besides, those little boats kids make, they just don’t slide past, they get stuck on every little thing on the side of the river. How is that reducing stress? Like why not thing of big sailing boats somewhere far out in the ocean? THEY could maybe get pass me and maybe even grab one of my thoughts on their sail.

    Needless to tell, the instructor was very impressed with my mindfullness skills…

    • hahahaha! As he was talking about the path, I was like “hi path” and then going – I wonder if he wants me there – surely he’d say so if he did… LOL. Apparently I’m just ornery! and thanks about the picture comment, I worked hard on those! 🙂

  5. Holy crap! You are so funny! And yes, I would have taken the path and no, I am not wondering about the rocks falling over…hahaha. I am not good at guided meditation and would have been none the wiser if it hadn’t been for you. I would have believed the dude about the whole green and lush forest and been living my life in denial.

  6. Lol! You crack me up! And it is perfect that you do meditation post yoga. That is the benefit of yoga!
    I am not s huge fan of guided meditation. It distracts me. However, look up Micheal Demaria and his 7×7 meditation. He is great. I know him personally, he actually married Tim and I! But try his guided meditation and see how you like it. If not, try silence and focusing on the breath or maybe a chant with mala beads. I’m doing that this month and I do find it helpful.
    Anyway, i cracked up at your thoughts on one step at a time. Two steps is a hop. Lol!

    • I’ve done really well with music, mantras and gongs/bowls, but I did a great guided meditation last week and was excited to try another one… But, yeah… Lol. I’ll look your suggestion up, though! In a few days, I need to cleanse my palette first 🙂 But thank goodness I’m not the only one to have a struggle with it! Not judging myself or comparing myself, but happy to know I’m not on an island!

  7. I’ve never liked doing guided meditations . . . the words are intrusive and negate the state I’m trying to embrace.

    I do use meditation CD’s ~ no words, just nature sounds (waves or thunder or a rushing stream). They give my mind a focus without cluttering up the space with words.

    Good luck!

    • Thanks Nancy! I’ve done well with music, I found a 10 min bowl one the other day that I loved! Love the vibrations of the bowls! I had a great guided one last week, and I will try again; however, I think I’ll stick with music and sounds for a bit!

  8. You’ve got me laughing my butt off! I meditate regularly and use guided meditation or music quite often. I have never been told to go into a forest. If I did I would probably have been too concerned about wildlife to think about the path. You can rest assured that I would not have taken a path in a guided meditation without being guided in that direction!
    Don’t give up…you will find what works for you and LOVE it!

    • Thanks! It is so good to hear that I’m not alone in failing to take the path! I’ve done so well with my meditation that I actually was able to laugh it off and I’ll do a nighttime meditation later 🙂 It was only my 2nd guided journey so I know I will go back and try another one… Eventually! Lol

  9. So that’s meditation? Huh. I guess I never knew what I was doing because I’d try to clear my mind in order to fall asleep. That’s kind of the same thing!
    I totally agree with your comments on the forest and I know where you lived so….yeah. Very accurate!!
    Om.

    • Hahahaha! Right, the forest isn’t green!!! I swear I spent two minutes inside my head arguing with the guy! And you are meditating at night! When you lay there and focus on your breathing and clearing your head, it’s the same thing 🙂 You can also download a mantra song to listen to before bed (Gratitude by Spring Groove is my current fav, go look it up on YouTube and sit with your eyes closed and listen to it, I do that several days a week and did for a long time before I actually bought the song, lol)

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