When Guided Meditation Fails

We’ve discussed before that I am de-cluttering my life.  Y’all were with me for the de-clutter challenge, which I won and failed at the same time!

Getting rid of things is the easy part.

Getting rid of the million of repetitive thoughts that crowd my brain, not so much!

I have a very monkey brain.  It’s all over the place, never settling in one spot for long.

I don't mean to interruptPart of my declutter is trying to deal with those thoughts – especially the repetitive, redundant ones. I don’t need to think the same thought 100 times in the space of 5 minutes. Which happens. Frequently.

To help combat this, I’ve added meditation to my daily life.

For someone who doesn’t sit still very long, this has been a challenge.

oh look a squirrel

Alas, it’s important to my growth, so I’ve powered through.  I started small; just a few minutes at a time.  I found a few mantra songs that were longer and I used them.  I found a comfort in the meditation. (It probably didn’t hurt that I usually did it immediately after my yoga class, but I’m still taking the Win!)

I tried a guided meditation the other day. Thank you YouTube.

It wasn’t bad.

I thought, let’s try more of those!

Below is today’s meditation and my thoughts as I sat there in a very “om” state of mind! Let me remind you – there aren’t supposed to be any thoughts happening, the goal is to clear my head… Okay, we are on the same page, let’s begin!

You are in a  big forest, you are surrounded by beautiful greenery.  You slowly walk deeper into the forest. It is lush and green all around you.

Okay, I’ve been in a forest voice over guy.  I used to live a 2 minute horse back ride from the tree line of a massive forest.

It’s not green and it’s not lush.

A forest has trees and these trees grow tall and block the sunlight from reaching the ground, so a forest, is more brown.  You’ll have some patches of green, but not lush green grass.  Now, if we were in a meadow, yes, there would be green, but deep into a forest, the only green you’ll see is moss.

Ah! Moss!  Okay, now I see green, I’m picturing lots and lots of moss.  I’m focused on my breathing.  I’m back in the zone.

You see a path.  A beautiful green path through the forest with tall trees on both sides.

Again with the green – if it is a path, the obviously the green has been worn away from feet walking the path! Also, it’s not green deep in the forest, but okay, not going through that again.  There is a path.  “hi path! good to see you”.  Okay, breathing in, breathing out.  I got this.

As we begin to walk, we notice the joy within, to be, in this place, this forest, within nature.

Okay, I’m back in the zone, focused on my breathing, I got this! Let’s go voice over guy, I’m ready to meditate! I’m back in the forest, I see the moss, I step over a log, we are GOOD!

As we take this path, we realize how happy we are

Crap, you didn’t tell me I was supposed to take the path! Now I have to run back to where the path is.  Why didn’t you tell me to take the path? I would have taken the path! Am I weird that I didn’t automatically take the path? The rest of the forest looked so much more appealing than the well traveled road – er, path.  Robert Frost? I should look that up.  Path, path, path.  No, I am not happy to be in the forest, I had to run to get on the darn path.

Moving freely.  One step at a time.

No kidding one step at a time.  Who takes more than one step at a time? Is it even possible to take two steps at the same time? Isn’t that called a hop?

how to hop

Yeah… it was at this point I realized that there was no way I was reaching any type of zen moment and shut it off.

I mean really, shouldn’t some more research be done before they write out a script? And, seriously, guided meditation.

“Guided”

By not telling me to take the path you weren’t GUIDING me!

Obviously I need a different meditation today!

But seriously, am I that wrong for having not taken the path? He just said “you see a path”.  Yes, I saw it, but I wasn’t going to take it!  I bet the rest of you would have though, it would have been automatic for you guys to take the path, right?

Man, I need more zen.  zen-gardens-garden-p-hd-taringa-x-picture-212876

Does anyone else look at that and wonder how long before the rocks fall over?

No? Just me?

Figures.  Y’all are the ones that took the path when you were supposed to, too!

My June Joust

 

June 2014 challengeBefore I declare my June challenges, let’s recap how May went!

1. Increase my daily exercise from 30 min to 60 min.  This will be a combination each and every day.

This did happen, except for the one week I took off.  

2. Yoga 2 – 3 times a week.

This did not happen.  I have issues with Yoga, Yoga is not my friend.

3. Continue with my wall sit (this is thrown in so that no matter what, I know I will accomplish something!)

Done!  Yippee!!  

4. Schedule community volunteer time (cause my mental health is just as important!)

Researched, but not scheduled.  I have to make time to fit this in, and unfortunately, their volunteer hours and the hours I had free didn’t match up.  

So, 2/4 challenges completed.

Winning

Now, thanks to Nancy at My Years of Sweat (who by the way just completed a day hike that she was clearly told could kill her if she did it in a day – but survived) here are my June goals.

  1. Finish the calf raise challenge that I started in May when I realized that yoga sucks.  🙂

  2. Do a plank challenge.  And I’m calling out Me, Who Am I? to join me because she said she would!

  3. Continue to incorporate 60 minutes of activity/exercise into my daily life.

  4. Now, here is where I planned to actually do the community volunteer time that I have researched, but I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know if I can fit it in – so this is tentative!

June is a really busy month for us.  This is Mr. T’s last week of school.  Next week he is gone for a week at church camp.  He is back for a few days before he leaves for Cheer (Mascot) camp and I leave for Vegas, Baby!  About 10 of us are going to Vegas to celebrate my 4oth birthday!  Whooo Hooo!  (I’ll update you on that later).  We are both home for a week and then I leave for a 4 day business trip, only to return and immediately prepare for our annual family reunion the first weekend in July.

My intentions are good; however, I will not overload myself with challenges and put additional stress on myself just because I’m uber-competitive! I want to be able to enjoy my life, too!

Keep calm you're invited

Join us!

Kerry’s Winding Road

My Years of Sweat  – who hasn’t posted her challenges yet, but she’s been busy taking the hike of death, so I’ll update this once she does!

And This is Why I Hate Yoga

I had a credit at a store so I ordered a yoga DVD.

I love the idea of yoga. The reality is different.

Let’s start with the one that sounds easy:

Child’s pose

Now, my forehead can touch the mat and my butt can touch my heels.  But not at the same time.  I was alternating between butt in the air or chin jutting out trying to touch the mat with that.

It gets better.

Let’s move onto Seated Spinal Twist:

I did the first side pretty well.  Then it was time to switch sides.  For the life of me I could not get my one leg over the other leg and after extra maneuvering, I managed to finally get into position… and that was when the move was over and she was “moving back to center.”

Sigh.

But wait, there is more!

The next one was called Pigeon Pose.  Yes, it was just as much fun as it sounded, if getting pooped on by a Pigeon sounds like fun to you.  Because I was a few steps behind, I heard her call it out, and by the time I looked up, she was in this pose:

 

I told the TV that it was nuts! Then I tried to figure out how to modify that move.

There are 20 more minutes of the DVD left.  I’m a bit scared.

If she asks me to do this next picture, then I’m selling this DVD.

PS.  I’m not using a DVD by any of the people pictured above, they were just the first pictures I ran across.

PPS. Currently I hate all of you yoga people.  You know who you are with your hot yoga and your couples yoga and your aerial yoga.  You all suck.

PPPS.  Fine.  I don’t hate you.  I think it defeats the purpose of the previous 42 minutes of yoga that I’ve done if I invoke hate so soon.