In honor of my son, Mr. T, who turned 16 on Monday, I thought I would bring you
16 Ways to Know you have a Teenage Boy
- Your water bill has gone up. This is due to extended showers. I fully believe that this is due to a sudden interest in cleanliness. This is the story. This is the truth. I refuse to believe anything else.
- The fact that there must be a force-field around all of your laundry hampers is a genuine concern.
- You understand what Snapchat is, how it works and yes, you are worried.
- Food disappears. Like overnight. Like if you wash a bunch of grapes and lovingly pluck them from the stems and put them in a bowl in the fridge, make sure you eat all you want right then. They won’t be there in the morning.
- Serving sizes become meaningless. The note that says “Serves Four” becomes “Serves a mom, a teenage son and 3 tablespoons will be left over. Too little to save for tomorrows lunch but too much apparently for the human garbage disposal to eat.”
- You’ve heard the perks of living at home, and they don’t include love, they include Food, Shelter and Wi-fi.
- You start to wonder if eyes really can roll back into a head, and if so – is it worth a trip to the emergency room? Didn’t you warn them when they were younger that “If you keep making that face it will stick that way?”
- You’ve had a conversation and then had to sneak onto the internet to translate what was actually said.
- You know what Kk, Bae, Molly and Poppin’ Tags all stand for.
- You’ve had a complete conversation where all of the answers you received were in the form of sighs and grunts.
- There have been days when you communicate via Twitter and Text more than you talk in person.
- “Can I drive?” Is the most common phrase in your house. You even start hearing it in your sleep.
- You have to troll Twitter to find out what is going on in your kids life. #StalkerMom
- Mysterious phone calls start coming in. Sometimes these phone calls require hanging out in the back yard.
- Clouds of aftershave/deodorant/cologne is becoming a permanent feature in the bathroom.
- You have heard the “Mom, I need my space” talk.
If any of the above has happened to you, you might be raising a teenage boy!
And you know what?
I wouldn’t change it for the world.