I’m trying, I’m really trying

I’m trying to stay on top of everything.  I’m trying to read all of your blogs and offer up my thoughts in your comment sections.  I like the interaction.  I’m trying to stay on top of Facebook and see what is going on in my friends lives, and to like and comment as I need to.  I’m trying to get through all of my emails, both work and personal and answer accordingly.  I’m trying to check my phone frequently and listen to voice mails and answer texts, heck, I’m just trying to answer the phone!

Today it’s hard.  Lee has been in the hospital, in ICU since Sunday night.  Yes, it’s only Tuesday, but it feels like longer.  His gallbladder needs to be removed, and apparently, it is painful.  Those I’ve heard from that have gone through this have told me how painful it is, and Lee is in that pain.  It’s worse for him due to his cardiomyopathy.  And, seriously, they can’t keep him on enough anti-nausea and morphine.  When I’m in the room, the anti-nausea is the most important.  Every time he grabs the pink tub, he looks at me and goes “Sorry Kate.”  I guess it’s good that he knows he’s not allowed to puke in front of me – or at least he understands that I will puke right there next to him if he does… Is that TMI?  It feels like TMI…

Did you know that a kidney doctor is called a nephrologist? Yup, I learned that today, too.  Lee’s kidneys aren’t working.  This is vital for surgery, but after meeting with the doc it was decided that the reduced function is primarily due to his heart condition, not due to dehydration, so we aren’t going to delay surgery due to reduced kidney function.

The hardest part of this is that Lee was doing so very well.  Amazingly well.  And then past couple of months have just been one beating after another.  Gout.  Diabetes.  Gallbladder. It’s hard to see him in the hospital bed and not knowing for sure that he’ll leave it.  It’s hard to see my mom fight back the tears when we get more bad news.  It’s hard to hear my dad say that he just doesn’t think Lee has the fight left in him that he needs.  It’s really hard when I have to agree with him.

So, I’m back home after having spent all morning in the ICU with Lee.  I’m trying to get my work done – and just can’t focus.  So, instead, I’m sharing with you! His surgery is scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday) at approximately 1 pm.  I’ll go back tomorrow morning, like today.  It worked out well, T and I left at the same time, he walked to the bus stop and I drove to the hospital.  🙂  There are a lot of issues working against him, but he has such a great team of doctors.  Several of these doctors we’ve been working with closely for the last 8 months and the new ones we’ve just encountered come highly recommend and we’ve gotten really good impressions from.  I won’t stay for the surgery, I’ll come home and wait to hear from our parents.  And pray.  I’ll be doing a lot of praying.

On the plus side – Erica had her baby today!!!  Graced my Emilie now has a little baby brother, Landon.  8 lb. 4 oz. 20″.  The funniest part is, last night we all made predictions on the size of the baby on Erica’s FB… and she was spot on!  Her prediction was the right one!  I think she had inside information…