Double Standard Anyone?

This weekend my reality was challenged.  It was very hard to let go and NOT have a double standard… In fact, these are the words that came out of my mouth “Well, if you were gay, I’d let you do it – so I don’t really have a reason why you can’t do it since you are straight.”

I didn’t have a valid argument.  This was a situation that in my mind shouldn’t happen because “you are a guy”.

And, it’s true, but not valid!

Here’s a hint:

hot pink pedicure

Now, let’s back up and get the rest of the story!

Kate and Mr T

First, we’ll start with a gratuitous shot of me and Mr. T – He’s in his Easter outfit thanks to Grammy and Papa – and just looking so handsome!

Really, there was no point to the inclusion of that picture!

Now onto the story, a few days ago My Amy texted me and the conversation went something like this:

Winter sucks

Yes, it does!

Haven’t seen you in forever!

I know, but I think the sun is coming out, so I’ll probably be leaving the house soon!

We should get together… want to do something this weekend?

Sounds great!

Want to go across the border?

Cha-ching!  Of course I do… because just across the border is where you’ll find the casino! She had to work that morning, and I was volunteering at the food co-op mid-morning, so we met at my place at noon, went and picked up another friend and took off!

Winstar or bust!

FREEDOM!!!

It was so much fun! We walked the length of the casino and then back again, trying different machines along the way and just catching up with each other!

Casino bird kept taking my money!

I would like to say I was strategic and parlayed my small pocket change into a large fund; however, I wasn’t strategic! And, no, the casino didn’t end up giving me a big check; however, I won enough to make me a very happy camper!

I told Mr. T that I’d be paying off our weekend fun, but that we should do something special together with the leftovers!

He picked pedicures.

Mother and son pedicures

It was a good idea, there is something about being in those chairs that invites conversation, and really, who doesn’t love a good foot massage! As we were sitting there, he looks at me and goes “Can I get a color?”

No, of course you can’t get a color.  You. Are. A. Boy.

That’s what I said in my head.  Actually, I may have screamed it in my head!

What came out was “If you want.”

I grew up in a culture where boys didn’t wear polish.

But, my parents grew up in a culture where boys didn’t wear earrings and that never phased me. Mr. T got his ears pierced at a young age.  He doesn’t wear them often now; however, that never bothered me.

So, maybe I’m old fashioned.  Maybe I need to be the one to loosen up and let it go.

And, I’m not kidding, I told Mr. T that if he was gay, I’d totally understand him wanting polish – so I didn’t have a reason for saying no just because he was straight.

Then Mr. T goes “Can I get hot pink?”

Go big or go home, I guess.

hot pink pedicure

And that’s how I ended up with a son with hot pink toes sitting next to me at the nail salon.

And that’s how I ended up struggling with the double standard.

It was hard letting him walk out the door this morning.  But really, is there a valid argument?

Because it isn’t societal norm. Because I’m not comfortable with it.  Because it isn’t done.

None of that is valid.

None of those statements represent the person I want to be.

On one hand, it’s outside my comfort zone.  On the other hand, I’m so proud of that kid for being who he wants and not being bound by societal norm.

Yes, it’s a double standard, and yes, sometimes I still struggle with it.

But this morning, I was the person I wanted to be and I watched my son walk out the door with hot pink toe nails being the person he wants to be.

And I smiled, ’cause yeah, that just happened.

Have You Ever Wanted to Run Away?

That’s exactly what I did this weekend.  I ran away.  From it all.  Just took off.

Saturday I had to take Mr. T to school so he could get to a UIL Theatre clinic.  He didn’t have to be there until noon, so we had a slow morning and as I sat there enjoying my cup of coffee, I got to thinking.  My plans were to take T to lunch, drop him off at school and then go to my friend Karaboo’s house.  We have been working on our Halloween costumes, and her 2nd bathroom, getting the remodeling finished. That was on the schedule.  It was all planned.

So, I sent her a text… “Want to run away? Head up to the casino?”

Ready to run away with me yet?

Ready to run away with me yet?

It was going to be a beautiful day – cold, but beautiful.  I didn’t want to be inside.  I didn’t want to do what I was supposed to be doing.  I wanted to run away.

After a few texts back and forth, I was told to go ahead and sound the alarm.  So, I put out text to the group.  I got back the following responses: previous plans, t-ball with the kid, getting ready for the cruise, and the best – still drunk from the night before.  Man, I love my girls.  We are so very different from one another, but yet, it just works.  But, as awesome as they are, that’s not the point!

I took T to lunch, just a little one on one time for the two of us.  We were sitting there and waiting and playing and talking – and we hacked the Wi-Fi at the restaurant.  Yup, that’s just how we roll. Make me wait too long and I get into trouble – obviously the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, because Mr. T is actually the one that guessed the correct password!

Lunch was wonderful; it was some good quality time together.  I ran him over to the school, said our goodbyes and headed for Karaboo’s.  I got there and she was putting on the second coat of paint.  Her primary goal was around the electrical boxes, so that on Sunday her husband could hook up the light switches.  She actually got a lot accomplished!  Then I walked in.  I was ready to help her.  I was taking off my jacket… and nope.  We were running away!

Away we ran!  Well, we got in the car, stopped by the bank and then the gas station, she filled up the car and I grabbed us some Coke’s.  Then, away we ran!  We hit the freeway, and just kept driving.  And driving, and driving.  And then that’s when we realized we’d missed our exit.  Technically, she missed it, because I didn’t know what exit we were looking for!  I’m totally putting that on her!  Not really, we were talking, and engaged in great conversation and the road slipped away from us! So, we turned the car around, and then, yet again, away we ran! Free like the wind!

Road Work Ahead, the most common and most dreaded sign in our fair cities!

Road Work Ahead, the most common and most dreaded sign in our fair cities!

Until we ran into road work and then we had to slow down.  Then we had to stop, merge into one lane, travel a bit, and then – Away we ran!  It was smooth sailing the rest of the way up to the casino.  We arrived a bit later than anticipated, but we arrived.  I got me a player’s card and off we went! It was fun! I hadn’t been to this casino yet, so I got to explore!  I like walking around, taking it all in, and stopping to play the slots.  I spent my teenage years in Reno, NV, where gambling is legal, and there are slot machines in the grocery stores and your neighborhood 7-11, so gambling doesn’t hold a big thrill for me, I just like to go and enjoy, to participate in life.  Now, don’t get me wrong – I love it when I win! But, even if I don’t, I never consider it wasted time.

We talked, and played, and walked around.  I like to stare at all the different machines, look at the pretty pictures and bright lights!  Occasionally either she or I would stop and we’d hit a machine.  It was perfect.  It was relaxing.  I didn’t have to do anything or be anything to anyone.  Ahhhh… feel that?  That was the tension leaving my body.

After a couple of hours, we were done, and back in the car headed home.  Yes, I ran away – but my responsibilities were covered.  More importantly, I came back.  I needed the break, and I found it very healthy.  As a result, I’m a better person today.

And, for those keeping score – I did something spontaneous!  This is so outside my character, that I get major points for this road trip!  Even Erica commented on my FB post how proud she was of me!  This is a big deal in my life!  I had the time, and I was spontaneous with it!

Yay! Go me!

Yay