Picking up the Pieces.

By nature, I’ve very happy.  I smile and joke about everything.  I am also super positive.

As such, it is very hard on me when I struggle with being depressed.

Fortunately, for me, being depressed manifests in more of an apathetic and listless lifestyle.  I just don’t want to do anything.  I don’t really have the energy to care.  (I think the side result of this is that the people in my life aren’t peppered with so many questions – being nosy, err, I mean curious by nature, I’m all about asking you about you!  So, some people have been spared my constant interrogations questions, and they probably welcome the break!)

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What my friends probably feel like when I’m on a roll!

Some people would see it as a good thing that I recognize that I’m struggling and taking the steps to correct it.  Personally, it drives me nuts that I recognize the issues, as I’d like to just wallow a bit more!!  That’s just me being ornery I suppose!

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This will not define my life, though.  This is a part of what has happened along my journey, so, I have begun moving forward again.

Last weekend I spent time with the family and then down at my Amy’s for an impromptu pool party.  This weekend has already been busy.  I had lunch with my BA on Friday.  He goes “You look… good.  Considering.”  LOL, Okay, I’ll take that compliment – hey, I’ll take it anytime someone tells me I look good.  I know I do – but it’s cool to hear it reinforced!  Okay, I jest!

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If you don’t know Zoolander by heart, you are missing out!

Friday night my mom treated the girls with a trip to the salon.  Okay, this is a funny story.  I’m sitting with BA at lunch and my dad calls to see how I’m doing (I had more massive work done on my mouth this week, 4 hours Tuesday and 4 hours Thursday).  I assured him I was much better.  Then my mom calls.  She wanted to see how I was doing.  I told her I was good.  She then proceeds to tell me that she is meeting my sister and niece at the nail place tonight.  They are all going to get mani/pedi’s and have a girls night.  It’s my nieces first time, so mom is surprising her with the treat. I told them to have fun, it sounded like a blast.

Mom calls me right back.  “I didn’t mean to exclude you!  I know you just got your toes done, though.”  Yeah, three weeks ago…  I told mom that I didn’t feel excluded, it was okay, I wasn’t due for another week.  She goes no, I thought you just did them.  I reminded her that I had them done the day Lee died, cause it was past due and I couldn’t face the family and friends with nasty toes, but it was okay, they should have fun, I didn’t feel excluded at all. Plus, Mr. T has his theatre banquet tonight, so I had to take him back to school at 6:45.  In the end, to satisfy her, I told her that I’d check my budget when I got home, see if my pedicure had come up in the rotation yet, and if so, I’d meet them up there.

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I went back to my lunch.  Then I got a text from mom… “My treat, I’ll call and change the appointment to 4 people.  Dad will take care of Mr. T, just bring him to the house”

So – anyway – that’s how I ended up at the nail salon with the other females in the family.  I actually got a manicure! I haven’t had one in like 12 years! There is polish on my fingernails!  The only time this happens is at Halloween, and normally you don’t see that unless we are in the dark – cause I love my glow-in-the-dark polish! 🙂

Then I got my toes done.

It was a fun night!

Today we are celebrating Memorial day, my sister’s birthday and Father’s Day all at the same time.  With my sister just weeks away from having another baby, it’s getting harder for her to make the hour drive over, so we are doing it all in one fell swoop! I hope there is cake.  I want some cake.

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Party Time!!

Sunday Mr. T and I are going to a friends house for a pool party – she just got it installed last week, so we all have to go break it in! 🙂  If we didn’t have cake at mom and dad’s, then that’s what I’m taking as my side dish to the party.  I want some cake.

Monday, maybe some of dad’s BBQ ribs, or a nice cool movie theatre (still haven’t had time to go see Star Trek!), we haven’t decided yet.

One way or the other, I’m picking up the pieces in my life and moving forward.

Thank you to all of the military men, women and their families that have kept me safe and allowed me the freedoms that I enjoy.  I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend.

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An hour, not wasted, but not working either

I had to balance my checkbook.  Last night was Diva Dinner (monthly girls dinner!), and I have to get that logged cause I spent less than budgeted and I was excited about it!  So, spreadsheet open and off to the bank’s web page.

Then, I had to check my electric company web site, cause hey, my billing cycle just closed and I haven’t received my e-bill yet.  Whoo Hooo, $70 under budget!  (The budget notes are an aside, not the real point, I just love coming in under budget though, so I have to share!).

Well, a line item on my budget coming up soon is my toll tag.  So, I had to go check their web site, see how much was left.  Dude, no worries, I can move that payment down several months.

Which lead me to the web site for the hospital, Mr. T had an ER visit and they finally have finished messing with insurance.  I made my first payment, then they called and said “I see you didn’t pay your bill in full, would you like us to set you up on a payment plan?”  Why, yes, please do! So, I verified the web showed my last payment, and looked to see if there were any charges on the physician side.  Not yet.

Moving on.

The, because I’m a glutton for punishment, I check the Attorney General’s web page, just to see if maybe T’s biological father had gotten a job and I had child support about to transmit.  I knew better than to look, but hey, it’s the holidays, everyone needs seasonal help, right?  Would someone tell him that?

So, onto emails.  Oh, an Amazon order shipped, let’s track it! Off to that web site we go.

I have paid this bill every year for 14 years, and yet, it always surprises me.  It’s the once a year payment on Mr. T’s life insurance account.  Why on earth it is set to come up right before the holidays is beyond me, well, Okay, I know why it is due every November, but still!! So, back to the bank web site to do a quick bill pay.  And a quick prayer of thanks to the Lord for blessing my finances! I had the money to pay the bill without any transfers!

Oh, but then I had to transfer money over for groceries.  (That sounds funny, but I have multiple accounts I use, one for bill pay and on-line ventures, and one for every day expenses… it works for me but I couldn’t begin to describe it to you! Needless to say, in this world of identity theft, I like that my money is spread around.  And, more importantly, it really has kept me from spending money I don’t have.  Ignore my credit card.)

As I’m logging the transfer in my checkbook, I notice that school lunch will be coming due soon, and that triggers me back to email.  Where there is a note from Mr. T’s Spanish teacher “here are my tutoring hours, the end of the 6 weeks is this Friday” ACK! This Friday! I haven’t checked his grades in weeks! So, off to the portal page to look at the grade book for Mr. T.  He’s passing everything by the way, I know you were wondering!

I saw an email pop in, oh look, new blog post from one I follow.  Off to that web site I went.

Okay, I’ve gone through my snail mail and Yahoo.  Go cleaned out AOL really quick.  I’m not sure why I still have that email account, but I’m scared to close it! Then, I had to take a quick look at Pinterest and Facebook.  Facebook was a dud, but with the holiday’s coming up, Pinterest has had some good activity. Then, I had to go check WordPress, cause several emails I deleted were from the site.

And that’s when I realized that I just spent an hour, on a dozen websites.  It’s not the time that bothers me as much as the fact that I just visited a dozen web sites in the space of an hour!

Oh, and yeah, that did just happen, I spent an hour of work time taking care of my personal business.

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To top it all off, when I concluded my blog, then I got on line to find clip art about computers just so I had a pic to share with you!  Let’s see how many web sites I can actually hit today!