You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

I know I just blogged yesterday and I hate to flood your in-box or your reader with too many postings, but dude…you can’t make up the stuff that happens in my life. I have to start from Monday night. 

I was just uncomfortable, so I announced that I had to take my bra off.  Yes, I make random announcements like that.  Mr. T responded that he didn’t have that problem, but “I know how to take one off of a girl with one hand.”  After a momentary pause, I just looked at him and said “I don’t need to know things like that, I really don’t” and then continued on my way. 

Tuesday we got up, I took Mr. T to school early for math, came home and worked for a few hours, left for a lunch meeting with Nacho.  We went to Macaroni Grill, and, I’ve never really been impressed by that place.  I was impressed that while they had white linen napkins as standard, they did have a black napkin available when I asked (because when you are wearing black slacks, you don’t want all of the lint from the white napkin).  The food was okay, but the company was exceptional.  So, I was happy. 

Tuesday afternoon I had a dental appointment.  I was having a tooth extracted.  Several dentists told me that it would be okay and extraction was my best option.  Okay, no problem.  I can do this.  As much as I hate work being done in my mouth, I’ve been told this is all standard.  Being a single mom, I am use to having stuff done and having to continue on with my day.  I did not make other arrangements. 


My tooth was not near as happy as this tooth is…

I sit in the chair; they want to take more x-rays, because something doesn’t look right.  Whatever.  Are you sure you can’t use the ones that my dentist sent over? Why, yes you can.  Good.  Let’s get this thing started.  Now, my phone has been quiet all day long.  Until they started working in my mouth and then it blew up.  I’m telling you, my pocket was vibrating almost the entire time I was in the chair. 

I will admit that the team did a great job.  They really did a wonderful job.  It’s not their fault that my tooth was up in my sinus cavity (not sure how that is possible).  But they sat my chair up and I told them that my phone was blowing up during the procedure.  They laughed and told me that they noticed!  We went over my post-op do’s and don’ts and I said I needed to just sit here for a minute.  I took my phone out and noticed a call and voice mail from my boss (that can wait) and two calls from my mom along with a text from her “Answer your phone” (that can’t wait).

Now, it drives my mom nuts that my phone is always attached to me, but man, when I don’t answer her calls she tends to get testy.  She tends to call back over and over until I answer.  For example, when I’m on the phone and she beeps in and I silence her – she calls right back – which makes me think something, is wrong.  When I didn’t answer and she sent me the “Answer your phone” text, I assume something is wrong.  I stepped away and called my mom.  And, this has to have been one of our best conversations. 


My phone was not as happy during this conversation as this phone apparently is…

Mom: I’m reading your sister’s poem

Me: Okay (speaking through a clenched jaw, cause I have to hold the gauze in place)

Mom: Have you read it yet?

Me: No, I was having a tooth pulled.

Mom: Is there something you know about her that I don’t?

Me: No

Mom: Have you read the poem? Well, I guess if you were having a tooth pulled you probably haven’t read it yet…

Me: No, not yet.  So, is she suicidal or pregnant?  (I was literally reaching for the two worst things in the world that I could come up with)


Mom: pregnant

(Bigger pause)

Me:  I gotta go pay for this and read my emails.  I’ll call you back.

I paid my bill – which was the high end of the estimate due to the extra work – and went to Walgreens to turn in my script for pain meds.  I sat down and pulled up my emails.  Found the poem from my sister announcing that she’s pregnant – 6 months along to be exact – I had to have my friend Erica do the math for me.  I just couldn’t think straight. 

It was time to call my mom back.  We talked a bit.  I got home.  Took a pain pill, changed my gauze, texted those I needed to and then called my dad.  We talked a bit and at the end of the conversation he offered to go pick Mr. T up for me.  What a blessing.  Mom called to check on me and asked about food… I told her there were left overs for Mr. T and I just wasn’t going to eat.  She said I needed a chocolate malt and she’d call dad and have him pick me up one when he got Mr. T.  Okay, that was pretty darn awesome.  I’m glad mom made me have one and I’m so glad dad picked it up.  That was the perfect dinner. 


Best dinner ever

Let’s recap:

  • My 14 year old can undo a bra with one hand,
  • I had a tooth extracted and am in considerable pain
  • My sister is pregnant. 

It is now 24 hours later and I’m exhausted, and taking my bra off again.  The wire is poking out, so on top of everything, my bra is broke.  Go figure. 

Yes, all of that just happened, and all in a 24 hour period.  I told you that you couldn’t make up the stuff that happens in my life! 

 (As an extra note – I took my brother Lee to his cardiologist appointment today.  Said he is looking and doing good.  We are in a holding pattern, not changing anything, waiting for his surgery to implant his defibrillator in April. It was a very positive appointment and they said that Lee is doing great.) 

I’m a Sucker

I’m a big sucker.

Did you know that there is a pair of sunglasses out there, HD Vision Fold-a-ways, which are like magic sunglasses with high definition lenses? They give you clear, HD vision, and they fold like five times in order to fit in your pocket or in that tiny purse??  They look way cool!  And, since I’m forever just dropping my glasses in my purse and scratching the lenses, maybe I’d use the cute little bag that comes with them… Maybe.  I haven’t bitten the bullet on those yet.

Okay, exchanged a gift at Target and bought this.  I love it!  It's awesome!

Okay, exchanged a gift at Target and bought this. I love it! It’s awesome!

Have you seen this OrGreenic Non-Stick frying pan?  The coating won’t chip or flake, it had a convenient stay cool handle and you can cook without oil, butter or grease!  And nothing sticks to it!!  You can burn a slice of cheese, and it comes right up.  You can even crack an egg and then slide it all over the pan and it really doesn’t stick – it just slides!!  I must have one of these!!!

I bought this a few weeks ago, $15, to replace the $150 real one that Mr. T broke.  We installed it, and it does serve it's purpose.

I bought this a few weeks ago, $15, to replace the $150 real one that Mr. T broke. We installed it, and it does serve it’s purpose.

There is even this frying pan out there that has a hinge and another frying pan on the other side, so you pour pancake mix into the bottom, hinge it closed and then you can flip the frying pan to the other side! No more messy messes made while trying to flip pancakes! Oh – I bet omelets become a breeze in that pan!  I’m pretty sure I can resist this one though.

Okay, these were in our stockings a few years ago.  They are awesome!  Always take camping with us.

Okay, these were in our stockings a few years ago. They are awesome! Always take camping with us.

I will admit that Wal-Mart had this as-seen-on-TV bra on sale, half price, during the holidays.  It was supposed to lift and separate and be so very comfortable.  And, yeah, I bought it.  I am such a sucker!! Fortunately, I accidentally bought the wrong size, so I could take it back and not feel guilty!

Ha! I bought these years ago when we lived in an apt.  They were perfect! I hung everything with them!

Ha! I bought these years ago when we lived in an apt. They were perfect! I hung everything with them!

I will tell you, though, that the Magic Bullet was worth every penny.  I used mine to death, and my sister bought me a replacement a few years ago.  I’ve about worn it out, too.  It’s the perfect size for me.  It does everything that I could want it to do from salsa to chocolate mousse to traveling with me when I go camping with the girls and making excellent margaritas!

So, while I may be a sucker, and I may have an account with QVC and while my family and friends may have received gifts that I’ve bought off the TV, some of them have totally been worth it!

Give from Santa this year.  It works really well!

Give from Santa this year. It works really well!

As I was sitting here typing this blog, I realized that I come by this obsession honestly, as a commercial for The Olde Brooklyn Lantern just came on.  Santa brought all of us one of these this year.  Call now and they will double your order!! Just pay separate processing.