A Break & Break-up

(I apologize for the email(s) you may have received yesterday that lead to a dead link, the button I wanted was right next to the “publish” button, and I totally hit the wrong button.  Twice!)

One of my favorite people told me the other day “I’m so sorry, I haven’t had time to read your blog” and I was all “That’s okay, I stopped writing it!”

And I did, and I needed the break.  I was serious when I told y’all that I wanted to live my life and not keep mental notes in my head of “Oh, I need to blog about this!”

The break did me good! But now, oh my gosh, I have stuff that has to be shared!! I mean, I would be doing every single one of you a disservice if I didn’t share it!

Last  we spoke, Mr. T had started his freshman year in college, a friend of his was borrowing our guest room and I was dating Adam.  You can catch up here if you are so inclined, but you aren’t missing anything if you don’t!

Humm… I can’t remember if I used his real name or not in my last post – but he isn’t active in social medial, so I can’t imagine it matters to him! He has social media, but he doesn’t even follow my Instagram account! Dude, we’ve been dating almost a year!

Whats up with that at Did That Just Happen Blog

But let’s move on!

Mr. T is in his 2nd semester of first year and it is just awesome! He seems to be doing so well, and he really enjoys it – and he is still cheering!  In fact, if you follow me on aforementioned IG account, you’d be over-run with pictures from the last two competitions we attended!

TxWes Cheer Competition 2017

It’s pretty awesome.  Both events were out of state, and I got to stay with one of my best friends in the world – it was worth the extra drive to get back and forth!

Mr. T’s friend who was borrowing the guest room moved out.

And moved back in 2 weeks later.  He is paying rent now.  We are working on getting him moving forward in his life.  He talks about all these grand plans, and I’m a task master helping to keep him on track!

Adam and I have been together almost a year – and guys, it was awesome.  It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was a great relationship.  We were open with each other, we laughed, we adjusted and adapted.  I learned some good lessons about myself during this time.

Have you noticed that I am using the past tense?

He is moving away.  Just a few weeks shy of our 1 year anniversary, he is moving.

I’m not even upset – it’s for family, and it is the right move for him to make.  We’ve spent the last couple of weeks letting those in our life know, and now I’m sharing it with you! I will miss him terribly, and he  feels the same.  In fact, we both  decided that his mourning period should last about 6 month. We feel that is how long it should  take to get over me.

Okay, I feel that is how long it should take.  He just humors me by agreeing!

yes-yes-yes- yes dear at Did That Just Happen Blog

But, you know what this means?

That’s right.

Online dating is coming!! And you’re coming along for the ride!

You’re welcome. 🙂

on line dating

For those runners out there – I’ve complete two races, one virtual and one in real life – both 5k’s.  And now I’m training for a 10k.  I’ve been working on increasing my mileage and I’ve hit week 11 of my training program, after having to take a week off, and then a recovery week – apparently I was pushing myself a bit too hard and my body rebelled!  I’m feeling better, I’m dealing with a medial ankle pain, trying to determine if it’s fallen arch or a nerve – it’s kinda in between the two symptom wise – but RICE is my friend, I’m doing ice compression at least once a day, and twice if I’ve done a run that is 5 or 6 miles long.

Love and missed you guys!

Kate

3 Months, 2 Tickets and 1 New Roommate

Happy Pre-Friday everyone!

Twice in the past month I’ve been asked if I miss blogging.  And, I do and I don’t.  So instead of pondering it, I am taking it as a sign and shooting off a quick note to y’all.

1 new roommate.  One of Mr. T’s friends has moved into my guest room.  Over the summer there was no telling who was going to come walking out of that room, but that settled down when one of his friends lost his place to live.  The kid is working and going to school, so I’m happy to provide him a safe place to stay.  No matter how weird it is to have another person in the house!

and-its-gone-meme-at-did-that-just-happen-blog

2 red light tickets!  Count them, two!  Mr. T is now aware of places where he frequents that have red light cameras.  He and I talked about it, he felt that he has just gotten complacent behind the wheel. I had to giggle, because he is the most conscientious driver I know, the tickets surprised me to no end.  Needless to say, he’s been coming to complete stops here lately!

red-light-ticket-at-did-that-just-happen-blog

3 months… well, I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months.  That still feels weird to say.

Dating. 

But, it’s been fun.  It’s been different.  I’ve enjoyed it. We communicate, a lot.  In a healthy way.  We go get froyo almost every Friday night (frozen yogurt for those that aren’t constantly surrounded by teens and 20 year olds!)  and we go on adventures.  We’ve toured Texas Motor Speedway, and he’s met my family.  Which as you know, my family counts as an adventure some days!

I was emailing a friend the other day, and she was awesome, when I told her that Adam, his name is Adam by the way, and I were in no rush, she goes “I think time and going slow is good for you now. These past couple of years have been such states of transition. You probably are also getting to know yourself in all of these new dynamics.”

Yes, yes I am getting to know myself again.

Speaking of new dynamics.  Mr. T has graduated high school and started college at a small private university downtown.  He knew that he would be living at home his freshman year, so he sold his Expedition and bought a Prius hybrid.  I am so proud of that kid, he saved up his money, he planned ahead knowing that this purchase was coming and he pulled it off!  Since he was commuting, he wanted to save as much money in gas as he could – and even with adding a car payment, the car payment and gas for the Prius was less than gas in the Expedition!  (And the Expedition went to a woman who it was a true blessing for, that was not planned by us, but you could tell there was a Higher Power involved on that deal!)

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Day 2 of college was also his 18th birthday.  My lil’ bit is no longer little.

I’m actually okay with that.

So, that’s my 3, 2, 1.  What’s up with you?

 

Experience Matters

Want to know a secret?

I didn’t go to college.

Well, I didn’t go to more than 1 semester of college.

We moved. Life happened.  Shrug.

I never really worried about it, there have been a couple of jobs that wanted college degrees, but we were able to count my work experience in lieu of a degree and I have managed to get along just fine in life.

This this started happening:

Acceptance at Did That Just Happen Blog

Acceptance letters have started coming in for Mr. T.

Our lives have been very focused on what colleges he wants to attend, what colleges are good fits, the program offerings, the degree program, what can he take at local community college and scholarships!

Lots and lots of scholarships!

The other night I attended a FAFSA overview at school.

College scholarship hunting at Did That Just Happen Blog

College preparation checklist.

I’m pretty sure I will never be prepared!

Santa brought him a dorm fridge at Christmas.

And he got a small vacuum, lots of tupperware and some command hooks.

Time to get ready for dorm life!

This is a great experience, and if he gets good scholarship money (can we all just pray for this, please?) he’ll most likely be required to live on campus.  And we are excited and ready for this!

But the other day, we were talking, and he goes, “I’ve narrowed my selection down, I want to go here, and I don’t think they have dorms, so I’ll be commuting.”

Okay, not going to lie, I am totally okay if he lives at home while attending college.

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But I understand that experience matters – and I want him to have that experience.  I don’t want him to limit himself.  I want him to keep his options open, we haven’t even done FAFSA yet, so we have time.

I imparted to him how I didn’t want him to deny himself the opportunity, to deny the experience.  It was important to me that he do what he wanted, we would figure everything else out.

And – as often as I marvel at this kid – sometimes he actually reminds me that he IS mine after all, and he let me know, that the “experience” didn’t matter, his goal was to go, learn, and do what he needed to do in order to get what he needed to succeed in this world.  That he has been researching and talking to administration and other teachers, and he thinks that he has found the best route to take.  So, we talked about it.

It made sense.

We returned the dorm fridge the other day and got a gift card instead.  And that gift card will be set aside until it is time, and he can decide if he needs a fridge or if there are other supplies he will need for school.

I guess experience is what we make it.

Spongebob-Patrick-Arrive-At-College-As-Freshmen

We Can’t Hunt Moose

Me: I’m just so over everything. Let’s move.
T: Move where?
Me: Jamaica.
T: No
Me: Well, where do you want to move to?
T: Alaska
Me: Alaska is boring. There is nothing to do.
T: We can hunt moose
Me: I think they are a protected species, we can’t hunt moose.
T: Did I say we were doing it legally?!?

Yup, that’s my kid!

Kate and T Senior Night 2

I finally got the picture back from Senior Night, when I got the privilege of walking Mr. T across the field.  It was pretty awesome!

You will never have this day with your children again.  Tomorrow, they’ll be a little older than they were today.  This day is a gift.  Breath and notice.  Smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention.  Relish the charms of the present.  Enjoy today, mama.  It will be over before you know.  -Jen Hatmaker.

 

On SCOTUS and Single Parents

I have mentioned several times over the past year how I’ve become aware of how we bring our own assumptions to the table.  We see things as colored from our lives and not always how they really are.  I’ve shared that this happened to me, someone close to me made an assumption that was very real and valid in their reality; however, it wasn’t what was really happening, and it was a big eye opener for me.  I’ve worked very hard to leave my assumptions behind and see things as they are today, to see people as they are today.  Not as they were when I met them, or last year, or last week, or even yesterday.  Part of my journey to live in the Now has really focused on this.

Allow me to reintroduce myself did that just happen blog

Apparently some days are better/easier than others.  And that’s okay, it helps me learn and grow, but man, those off days…

I stole the title of this blog post from Deborah at The Monster in my Closet for several reasons.  First off, it’s a kick butt title, secondly, it totally applies and third, you MUST go read her blog post by the same title.  

I have massive respect for The Monster in my Closet, she has a wonderful life story, and while we are on different paths, it has been fun to read about her journey.  One of my favorite parts is that she welcomes discussion.  I watch her communicate with others and I really enjoy seeing the different view points and perspectives that show up on her blog!

She posted something a few days ago, on a different media outlet, that immediately sent me over the edge.

And not in a good way.

When the Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage, The Monster in my Closet read it.  Not skimmed it, not read what others posted, but read the actual words set forth by SCOTUS (Mad props for that!) and in that ruling, she found a beautiful paragraph that addressed the children of gay couples, and how SCOTUS took them into consideration.

And, it was beautiful, I found it awesome that the children were addressed; however, there was some verbiage included that pretty much had me reverting to an older version of myself, getting defensive and well, with hands shaking and stomach quivering, I shot off a response.   I was upfront and told her that I recognized I was taking this single paragraph out of context – and I was, but it sure didn’t stop me!

Excluding same-sex couple from marriage thus conflicts with a central premise of the right to marry.  Without the recognition, stability and predictability marriage offers, their children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.  They also suffer the significant material costs of being raised by unmarried parents, relegated through no fault of their own to a more difficult and uncertain family life.

Stigma? Somehow lesser? Material costs of being raised by unmarried parents???

whaaaat? And how SCOTUS decision didn't change my family | Did That Just Happen Blog

I was okay until they threw in “unmarried parents” and then all of the sudden, the ruling became personal.  I have worked so very hard to make sure my son doesn’t feel a “stigma” because he comes from a “lesser” family because he is being raised by an “unmarried” parent.

That was a shot to my heart.  How could I NOT read that as an affront to all I have worked for for 16 years?

No stigma for single parents | Did That Just Happen Blog

There is no stigma there, unconventional, yes.  But a lesser family?!? Them are fightin’ words!! 

Again, in one part of my brain, I recognized I was taking it out of context, but apparently we have found the issue that is still, well, an issue for me! Deborah and I exchanged several emails as we discussed this – not mean or nasty, but genuine emails with a real discussion.  And here is the best part.

While I knew in part of my brain that it was okay, I just couldn’t get the rest of me there.  I was fixated on those words.

Stigma

Lesser

Then Deborah sent me a link to an article posted on the American Academy of Pediatrics site.  And I cried.

AAP has supported families in all their diversity, because the family has always been the basic social unit in which children develop the supporting and nurturing relationships with adults that they need to thrive. Children may be born to, adopted by, or cared for temporarily by married couples, nonmarried couples, single parents, grandparents, or legal guardians, and any of these may be heterosexual, gay or lesbian, or of another orientation. Children need secure and enduring relationships with committed and nurturing adults to enhance their life experiences for optimal social-emotional and cognitive development. Scientific evidence affirms that children have similar developmental and emotional needs and receive similar parenting whether they are raised by parents of the same or different genders.

The rest of me finally caught up.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  My family is whole.

This is my family, I found it, all on my own.  Is little and broken, but still good.  Yeah, still good.  Did That Just Happen Blog

Aliens, Pudding and Pink Socks

I’ve so much to share that I don’t know where to start!

Tell the story you want to live

I want to blog about a phrase I used in my post about Mr. T’s pedicure: “The person I want to be”.  My friend Erica and I were on the phone and supposed to be working but got side tracked on the internet and a really cool discount shopping site… and as we kept Skyping links to products back and forth to each other, at one point we both said “I know it’s not me, but it’s who I want to be”.  And, you know what? We both bought pieces that represent the transition we want to make as people! I love that I have people in my life that understand me when I say weird things like “it represents who I WANT to be”

I’ll find time to share that once my new piece comes in and you can see what I felt was a physical manifestation of the person I want to be!

Oh my gosh! I swear I saw a UFO the other night!

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What do you think? It was really low to the ground and there isn’t an airport anywhere by where I was!  And, there should be red and green lights on it if it’s a plane… and those are clearly not red or green!

Aliens.

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Speaking of aliens… Yesterday I was a work “meeting”.  Annual crawfish boil put on by one of the local rep groups.

While I was eating my custom made vegetarian pizza my son was several towns away with the school theatre troupe doing a UIL clinic… and he sent me this picture:

Mr. T sprained ankle

I thought he tucked his pants into his pink socks and was being silly… and so I responded that he had too much time on his hands.

Why are you laughing, I sprained my ankle, it hurts bad

Of course he did! I’m two hours away from where he is.

And it’s in moments like that when I begin to wonder why I don’t have a head full of grey hair.  I mean, seriously, he couldn’t hurt himself when he’s at school and I’m down the street, no, it has to happen when we both happen to be out of town!

No, he didn’t need me to come pick him up.  He happened to have an ankle brace with him (which tells you so much about our lives!), and he used that while the troupe stopped for lunch, then he went and saw the trainer when he got back to school and they confirmed sprain and not a break, and released him with limited restrictions.  He then when to Cheer practice and then onto Work.  I eventually got to see him late that night!

He’ll survive.

Oh! And I have had such issues with pudding lately!! I can’t wait to tell you about the “healthy” cupcakes I made the other day…

homemade cupcakes

Okay, so I needed instant pudding for the icing.  And wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t buy instant!  I made them anyway, and we ate them, but there is a whole story behind it!

And then it gets worse! I bought ingredients to make a special St. Patrick’s Day trifle treat and it involved pudding, too – that I was supposed to dye green! And, after the cup cake “incident”, I was so very careful to find the Instant pudding… and I came home with Instant pudding… but in LEMON flavor!!!

AGH!!!

I can’t win!

We still ate the trifle anyway.  🙂

I hope all is well in you world!  Make it a great day!

PS, tell me I’m not the only one that’s seen a UFO or has issues buying the right pudding!! Please! I’m feeling insecure about my life choices right now!

🙂