I’ve Left the Busy Life Behind

This popped up and reminded me how much I love living a life where I leave the busy behind!!

Did That Just Happen Blog

I’ve been working very hard at not comparing myself to others.  In fact, it was just over a year ago that I shared this journey of growth with you, and it’s not easy, but I’ve worked hard, and while I still slip up, I am happy to admit that I am much better about not judging myself!

Like most things, you don’t always notice what a difference is being made when you make it in small steps.  Because I have just been taking baby steps in my self improvement, and because I’ve been so focused on becoming a better Me, I hadn’t realized how far I have actually come…

I never look back darling the incredibles

…until the other day.  All of the sudden, every where I went I was hearing people talking to each other.

“Wow, that sounds like a lot”

“You look tired.”

“You look stressed”

“That sounds really busy.”

I even said some of those…

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Beyond Decluttering

I saw this post the other day on Pinterest:

Clutter is no more than postponed decisions at Did That Just Happen Blog

That was powerful to me.

I am always organizing things so that they fit better or that they are more out-of-the-way. I’m a big fan of “Oh look at that container, I could organize so much in there!”

It’s time to stop “organizing” and let go of those items that really aren’t bringing value to my life.

The more you have, the more occupied you are

I’ve been listening to The Minimalists podcast, it’s in the rotation of all my others, but I’ve really enjoyed how they look at life.  It’s not about how little you have – it’s not about saying “I only have 300 items in my house”, it’s more about what you do have and how it impacts you.

I’m learning a lot about how free you become when you remove all of that extra “clutter” in your life – and I know it’s true – I know it is – but I don’t always practice it!

This weekend I did.

Declutter DVD's at Did That Just Happen Blog

It was really hard, but I went through my DVD collection.  Now, I don’t go back and watch these DVD’s very often.  I have access to Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime and several other free movie sites – there is very seldom a need to pull out a DVD.  But, I’ve always enjoyed collecting them.  They brought me comfort, in a weird sort of way, so I knew that removing them would be a challenge for me.

And a challenge it was!  I can honestly admit that I didn’t get rid of as many as I wanted, but I did manage to let go of about 100 DVD’s.  Some went home with my sister or parents and some went to a resell shop.

It felt good! I’m not going to lie, I’m ready to go through the rest and really free up space in my house and in my soul!

I have started a donation box.

That’s not new – I donate stuff all of the time.

What’s new is what I put in the donation box.

Declutter phone at Did That Just Happen Blog

It looks like an ordinary cordless house phone with built in answering machine.  It functions like one… although, this guys hasn’t been used in over 10 years.  It has been sitting in my nightstand drawer for over 10 years.

Now, if you guys have followed me at all, you know I did a big de-clutter challenge a few years ago… so why didn’t this phone go? Why was I holding onto this phone?

It has a voice mail on it.  It has a voice mail on it that is pretty darn mean.  It has a voice mail on it that I have been saving just in case. And not a “this could happen” just in case scenario, but a really far-fetched, “there is never in a million years that this situation could happen but just in case it does, I will have this recording” scenario.

I’ve been carrying this phone around with me, just for that one voicemail, for a situation that would never happen.

Today I let it go.

I didn’t just physically let go of the phone, but I let go of the mental and emotional weight that I’ve associated with that phone.

I didn’t realize just how much “attachment” I had to holding onto that phone, not just the physical reminder, but all of the mental and emotional attachment that I was associating with it.

It’s gone.

And you know what?

I don’t miss it!

As I unclutter my life I free myself to answer the callings of my soul

I look forward to making more decisions around the house!  Some people ask “Does this bring me joy?”, but I am liking the “Does this add value?” question.  That is really resonating me right now!

It resonates with me, because I like things neat. So I’ve kept all of these boxes from when we gave up cable and went to internet TV – just in case I move, I have the original boxes to pack things back in.  The reality is, those boxes take up sooooo much space and if I had to pack, I would decide that they take up too much space!  (And maybe I need to be an ambassador for Roku!)  Of course, I still had to text Adam twice and make him tell me that I would be okay if I put those in the recycle bin!

Declutter empty boxes at Did That Just Happen Blog

In my mind, it was worth keeping those boxes in case I moved – but with my new mind set, I was able to say that they don’t bring me any value and let them go.

So what about you?  I know some of you have gone through this recently – any tips or tricks? And how to you manage the clutter at your place? I love knowing what others are doing!

Plot Twist

Plot Twist Ahead sign at Did That Just Happen Blog

Okay guys, the name of my blog is  “Did That Just Happen” because well, you just can’t make up the stuff that happens in my life.

This time; however, I will freely admit that I brought this on myself!

Well over a month ago, I was laying on the couch and a bit irritated at my boyfriend, Adam.  It was a combination of all sorts of things, but the underlying factor was – he was leaving.  He was moving away.  And well, I had had fun with him! I was actually going to miss him – but, I also knew that I wanted to keep dating.  I was at a good point in my life and Adam had shown me that it was possible for me to date, and well, that I was date-able!

Plot Twist. Waldo finds himself at Did That Just Happen Blog

So, you all know that I did my research… well here is what I left out… I was doing that research before Adam left.  I thought that I would just get ahead of the game and fill out my profile in advance, and not activate it until he actually left town.

Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.  Before I had even finished filling out my profile, there were dings and bells and notifications going off all over my phone!

Apparently you can’t set up the profile with a time delay!

So, now I have a boyfriend AND an active on-line dating profile!!

Both at the same time.

Concurrently.

Oops.

I wish I could add “Now, in my defense… blah blah blah… justifies this”.

Nope, I have no defense!!

I should have shut it down right then… but I figured it would take time to find someone – so let’s just go with it and see what happens!

Plot twist at Did That Just Happen Blog

Within the week I had Adam on the phone and it came up.  So, he has known about it from the very beginning.

Yes, I had boundaries, I was very respectful of the fact that I still had a boyfriend – and guys, he was actually really active in my on-line dating search!  All of those screen shots I’ve shared with you – I have them because I had sent them to him first!

It got to the point that if at least once a week I didn’t send him a screen shot and tell him how much I hated him (for leaving me and thus for the fact that I had to start dating again) that he didn’t feel his life was complete!

One of many I hate you texts at Did That Just Happen BLog

That was one of the many “I hate you” texts that Adam got from me!

I was having a meeting with some people that I’ve known for years, and the subject came up of how I accidentally signed up for on-line dating before Adam was gone, and they came up with a good idea – we agreed that since Adam was leaving, he should be responsible for finding his replacement!! 😀

I called Adam on the way home from the meeting and told him about our grand plans, he got a good chuckle out of it.

I told Adam that I was totally going to blog about all of this – but not share it until he left, because while he was here for all of it – it’s kinda hard to explain while I’m in the world of on-line dating while I still have a boyfriend – well, it’s hard to explain and not sound cray-cray!!

Wait until I don't have a boyfriend at Did That Just Happen Blog

So, you see, he was involved, and really, really supportive.  There was one guy that I thought I could be interested in, but really felt he was out of my league.  And I don’t say that about much of anything, but I did about this guy – and Adam disagreed, he felt I should go for it.  Seriously guys, it was the sweetest thing!

But, you know what’s coming:

Sudden Plot Twist at Did That Just Happen Blog

This weekend Adam and I had a great time, we’ve been doing a lot of things he wanted to do before he left; and, after this weekend, we would only have 2 more together, so we are making the most of it.  Apparently he had been dropping hints and I was just stepping right on over them.  I never noticed.  I have spent months getting ready for him to move, that it was my new reality and that was that.

Until all of the sudden the blinders came off, and it hit me.

He wasn’t moving.  He was staying after all.

The couple of weeks prior to this, I had kept telling him that it wasn’t fair, because so much of his life had been falling into order, it wasn’t right that he had to leave.

And then, the family issues that were the primary reason he was leaving, well, they resolved themselves, and all of the sudden, he didn’t have to move if he didn’t want to.  It actually began to make sense that he stay.

So, we talked.  And yes, he is staying.  And we’re still together.

When we were talking about him staying, I’m not kidding, I laughed so hard that I had tears rolling down my face when I realized that I had all of these blog posts written, and they HAD to be shared, they were too good not too, and then I was going to have to confess that I was dating while I had a boyfriend!

Worst plot twist ever at Did That Just Happen Blog

Yes, that just happened.  I was doing the on-line dating scene while I still had a boyfriend!  And, while it made for some good blog fodder, y’all, I’m so glad I don’t have to keep doing that!!!

 

 

It Gets Better

I’ve been on-line dating for over a month now… and it does get better!

Okay, when I say “it gets better”, I don’t mean that all of the sudden I’ve found the secret formula to attract the right guy, but I say “it gets better” in that I have so much more to share with y’all!

What's your number babe at Did That Just Happen Blog

What’s your number babe

For real?

And the transition right to “well, let’s hang out then”.

I sent back a page of my schedule that ended with basically, it’s a month before I’ll have any free time.  And I fully expected that to be the end of him.

It wasn’t.

The guy went on to ask me 5,000,000,000 questions.

I’m not even exaggerating!

But, it gets better!

A few days later he messages me again… and very obviously isn’t paying a bit of attention.

Good to Know at Did That Just Happen Blog

Good to know?  Good to know?  What part of I was sick was good to know?  I don’t even have an answer for that one!

Yeah, no.  I just can’t even.

But wait – it gets better.

Enter a new beau.  And he falls under the category of “Did you just say that?”  I mean, I can’t tell you how long I stared at his message in disbelief.  It’s not so much whether or not you have religious beliefs, it was just the disrespect he has towards those that do.  Take a look.  Did he say that at Did That Just Happen Blog

I sent back to him that I found that comment out of line and didn’t want that attitude in my life.  To which he responded “Ok”.

See – I told you it got better!!! I don’t think you can top these!  But, rest assured, my fingers are in top form for taking screen shots just in case someone comes along who can top these!!

Speaking of top form – I do have a race this weekend.  A 5k for the college my son attends, the alumni put it on every year, and I’m happy to be able to participate! I am not racing this one, I’m just having fun with it, so I hope to take lots of pictures – the school had a poster making day – and I can’t wait to see what they came up with! I’ve been staying at my parents house this week, and they say that hills make you stronger – but I swear the hills in my parents neighborhood are out to kill me.

 

Distance Matters

Distance matters at Did That Just Happen Blog

And welcome to my reality…

You’re from Morocco… that’s nice, thanks for letting me know where you are from.  What I care about is where you are now, though.  Oh, still in Morocco?  Yeah, no.

I’m pretty sure on-line dating isn’t for me! 😀 Through this process I have discovered, I really don’t like people asking me questions.  And I really don’t like when they interrupt my day to ask them!

Now, I have messaged back and forth with some nice guys – a few have asked me out and I’ve been tempted, but it just wasn’t right.  And there are a few that we are working towards friendship… well, a friendship that will last until I cancel my account!  Which is coming.  Soon.  Very soon…

Nice Try at Did That Just Happen Blog

Not bad as opening lines go – but again, yeah, no.

I texted Adam about this one.

I refuse to do on line dating at Did That Just Happen Blog

So, seduction guy, guys, I did actually try. He had mentioned lunch time fishing during our picnic at the lake (while he’s feeding me chocolate covered strawberries apparently) and so I messaged back that fishing at lunch time probably wasn’t going to catch us much, we should go in the morning time.  I added some more stuff, you know, making general conversation.  He came back with another laid back, laying around, relaxing and doing nothing type of message.  So, I asked him if he ever actually did anything.  He had two boys, but was always talking about just laying around the lake, or the beach and just listening to music and picnics.  Did he actually ever do activities? I told him that I was running a 5k that weekend and then going over to a friends house to help out, and then I gave him an idea of my next couple of weekends, which were pretty busy – I told him that was what I was use to, I liked to be out “doing” things.  Relaxing was fine, but just not every weekend!

I never heard from him again! 😀 😀 😀

World’s Fastest Courtship

I’m navigating the waters of the on-line dating pool. It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve perfected the art of  my Invisibility Cloak – and how to pop that sucker on and off in a heartbeat!

What I’m not doing is getting  frustrated at the messages – they are supposed to be a good thing! They aren’t driving me nuts at all!

*Insert eye roll*

Okay, you know they are driving me crazy, but they aren’t supposed to! I am supposed to be happy that they have reached out to get to know me – I mean – that’s the entire point!!!

Except this guy, I think this guy missed the “getting to know you memo”:

On-line dating at Did That Just Happen Blog

He went from “Hi” to “Let’s go out” in about 3.5 seconds! It was quite amazing and I have to wonder what his success rate is!

Because I’m me, I did mention that none of his profile was filled out, so that was another reason I was hesitant, a message with a blank profile is usually a fishing expedition and I’m not fond of that bait.

To which he replied:

Have you even answered any questions on here?

Okay Mr. ‘Tude, I got your number!  I explained that I answered a ton of them, because it helps the algorithm out, and the more I answer the better results I get – Like the rest of life you get out what you put in! And since I put in a lot of effort, I was wondering what about my profile he liked  best and what made him decide to contact me?

I figured that was the last of him, please kid, you don’t know who you’re dealing with! You can’t cop an attitude that I can’t beat – I deserve a crown for my attitude some days!  Good OR Bad! 😀 Bad Attitude Crown at Did That Just Happen Blog.jpg

Imagine my surprise when 10 minutes later he replied!  I literally had to set the phone down cause I was laughing so hard – the kid went and read my profile (obviously for the first time) and came back and typed in a part of it back to me and told me that was what he liked about me and that’s why he contacted me.

Yeah, no.  But nice try though!  I’d give him points for the effort he took,  but sadly, there was no amount of points to get him out of the hole he was in!!!

So, mostly I’m being amused – trying not to be frustrated – and… I may have found one, or two, that are worth getting to know!! Stay tuned!!

Running news: I’m  actually looking for a 10k race to sign up for, I’d like to see where I stand.  I’m also adjusting my food. I’ve had to increase my protein and iron (not surprising at all) and I’m playing with fueling for the long runs vs. just going out like normal.  It’s been interesting and challenging, and I may or may not have walked around for a few days with an ice pack tied to my ankle every couple of hours… but you know – I’m a runner – we’re weird like that!

 

Save

Rule #1

It’s been a week since I started on-line dating.

It feels like it’s been forever.

I went back and looked at the calendar just to make sure.

Only a week.

I did get an email that you could get the “paid” option for 20% off.  I paid for one month and set up a reminder to cancel it!  The paid option just gives me a bit more information about who is looking at me, and allows me to look at others in “incognito” mode – meaning I can stalk research and the guys won’t know I’ve visited their profile.

Stalking is such a strong word at Did That Just happen Blog

We shall see if either of those options come in handy!

So far, the BEST opening line (with original punctuation):

Roses are red violets are blue.  Do you want a fun date or a Starbucks date for two?

Now, how do you resist that?

I responded and we’ve had some good conversations… he is 20 years younger than I am.

RULE #1: You have to be closer to my age than either my son or my parents age.

So far, the worst opening line (with original punctuation):

Good morning will you morning my beautiful city of Fort Worth Texas? You look very wonderful.  I would like to be a friend of yours with the potential of being more. I am a fun, loving down to earth type of Guyd. Contact me when you get a chance?

Okay, I am not at all sure what he was trying to say in the beginning, and was that last line really supposed to be a question?

I judge people based on grammer at Did That Just Happen BlogI didn’t respond to that one.  There are some that I just haven’t responded to, because just like the one above, it didn’t look like a real person was sending it – call it spam, catfishing, or just fishing, it takes more than that to make me bite!

So far I’ve had several great message conversations, I’ve let a couple know that I didn’t feel we were compatible, and even more that are just sitting there never to be answered!  (But I’ll leave them there so I can see if they contact me again!) (Not that I have issues or anything!) (Maybe a few!)

All in all, I feel it’s not bad for for the first week; but wow, it wears me out!! 🙂

Running is better.  I switched to a more organic training program.  Lots of tips are about “schedule” and I’ve found that I work better if I know what I want to do, and leave some flexibility about when I actually do it!  Running a 5k this weekend… can’t wait to see my time!