I Just Deleted 102 Emails

Not even kidding, 102 emails! That was insane!

If you are just joining us, my boyfriend is moving away and I’ve decided that I enjoyed dating him and want to keep dating – and in this day and age, that means, say it with me:

online dating at Did That Just Happen Blog

That’s right, Online Dating

I spent the weekend on-line reading every “Top 10 On-Line Dating Sites” article that I could find.

First off, I had no clue there were so many dating sites, and secondly, I had no clue how many articles had been written about them!!! I think my eyes started bleeding at one point, but I read them all!

Okay, no I didn’t, I read about 5 of them, figured that would give me a good sample!!

Now, I new I was ruling out E-Harmony, even though it frequently ranks at the top of the charts, it is more money than I’m willing to invest right now, and I did try that in the past – like 10 years ago – and the form you fill out took me three days!  I’m not willing to invest that much time right now, either! Just keeping it real, I want to date, but apparently I don’t want to put in 3 days worth of effort!!

little kid lover online dating at Did That Just Happen Blog

My first priority was looking at low cost/free sites.  I know that you run a risk on those of weeding through more weirdo’s, but considering this is my first time to really dive in and mean it – I consider this my wading pool.  I want to get my feet wet and not commit to the deep end just yet.

I narrowed it down.  Found the site that fit my requirements and spent the time filling out my info, answering their questions and before I could even finish setting up my profile, already I was getting dings!

Okay, I am totally committed to this.  I am going to keep an open mind and be engaging and friendly and yes, I am going to accept dates and meet strangers.

And just pray that they don’t shove me in the trunk of their car and kidnap me.

dating is cool at Did That Just Happen Blog

I have since updated my settings so that I don’t get an email every time a message or “like” comes in. It took me several minutes to get rid of all 102 emails! 🙂  Lesson learned!

So, does anyone have good on-line dating stories? Don’t tell me anything that will freak me out!!

Running is hit and miss.  Not sure why I’ve struggled lately, okay, yes I do.  I know exactly why I struggled.  I had been over-training.  I have forced myself to slow down, cut back on my mileage again and stop obsessing over the training plan!  Well, the problem is that I followed the training plan… and then kept adding in my own miles on top of those… thus the injury and the struggle bus coming by to pick me up!  “Slow and Steady wins the Race” is my new motto currently!

Save

Save the Excuses and Look up Dog Videos

So, remember My Ex, who wanted to mend our relationship?

I was open to it and worked hard to remain open, because really, all I wanted to do was slam that door shut.  Lock it.  Throw away the key.  Add a chain.  Lock it.  Throw away that key.  Then put up bricks.

But, instead, I left the door open.

He set up a time to call me.

Waiting for him to call at Did That Just Happen blog

And didn’t call.

A few days later we connected.  Blah, blah, blah.  The discussion was had about how no one has time for anything anymore.  If it’s a priority, you make time for it.  I made it clear, I will never hold it against him if he misses a call, as it shows me where on his priority list I am.  It shows me how important this is to him… or not.

So, then he sets up a time for a second call.

Still waiting on that call at Did That Just Happen Blog

And maybe a 3rd call is set up.

bellatrix-lestrange-i-dont-like-to-be-kept-waiting

After a certain point I’m all:

Downton Abby is this an instrument of communication at Did That Just Happen Blog.gif

Now, blog friends, let me fill you in on a secret.

I was really rooting for My Ex.  I really, really wanted him to follow through.  I know that in the past I have provided many opportunities for him, I’ve opened the door and he hasn’t been able to step through.

But…

I really, really hoped this time would be different. As hard is was for me because I wanted to board the door shut,  I was championing his cause to my friends – I knew he could do it! He seemed really sincere and like he really wanted it!  I wanted it for him!  I can’t tell you how badly I wanted him to be able to make this work.  Not for me, but for him.  I felt he really needed this and it would be good for him.

In the end, I had to give up.  The second time it went 2 weeks past the time he set up to call, and he hadn’t, well, I can only hold my pom-poms so long.

Save the excuses, it's not about having time but making time at Did That Just Happen blog

He showed that mending the relationship was not a priority for him.  He showed it every time he didn’t follow through.  Every missed phone call and every unanswered text. No response is a BIG response in my book.

Priorities are making time for others at Did That Just Happen Blog

It is what it is – but I wanted to provide closure for y’all! Sometimes your phone will betray you and FaceTime your Ex and it will lead you on a grand adventure full of intrigue, mystery and suspense!  But, most days you’ll just use it to look up dog videos!

 

The Waiting Game

vaguebooking

 

 

 

 

 

 

VaugeBooking idiot

While this post doesn’t have any details, I am NOT doing a vaguebook, er, vaguepost.

I’m not sure vaguepost was a thing before, but it is now!

Because we all now I’m such a trendsetter.

Liz-lemon-eye-roll

But I am stuck in a waiting game!  Like an endless loop of waiting and waiting and waiting.  And waiting

Have y’all met me? Type A control freak that makes a decision faster than most should ever be made? Yeah, me.

I don’t like to wait.

So, I am opening myself up to the experience that will eventually make its way to me, and I hope to learn something in the process. I am practicing letting go – which in my case, is that I’m not attached to the outcome.  And I’m doing pretty good at it…

But seriously, who drags stuff out? Don’t tell me on Monday you’ll call this weekend… I want to know now!!

This is life altering stuff.  Don’t make me wait!

Okay, maybe not life altering.

Okay, not life altering at all, pretty much not important to anyone besides me and like 2 people, but that’s not the point!! Waiting should be on the list of cruel and unusual torture punishment!

Dean Winchester waiting

Look! I found a gif of Dean Winchester – waiting!  It has been way too long since Supernatural made an appearance over here! (And oh my gosh, they came back from their midseason break with a bang!)

So, on one hand:

Don't rush things, anythign worth having is worth waiting for

Okay, I’ll wait.  But on the other hand:

dont-wait-too-long-you-might-miss-your-chance-quote-1

Well, I don’t want my chance to go by!

But then, there is patience, and well, that applies to every day (and I’m way better about acting good while waiting!)

patience-is-not-the-ability-to-wait-but-the-ability-to-keep-a-good-attitude-while-waiting-quote-1

(I don’t think this post should count towards how I act when waiting… but, if you can’t see me constantly tapping my foot, then it might not be happening – so maybe this post isn’t me being impatient and bringing y’all along for the ride, maybe I’m just sharing my life!)

Who am I kidding – I’m impatient and bringing y’all along for the ride!!

Life is too short to wait

I sense my new motto!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

And yes, all is well, no one is sick or dying.  And in the grand scheme of things, I’ll have forgotten this by next week… the point really is just how I’m not a fan of waiting! When I went back and read this, I realized I might need to clear that up!

It’s All a Matter of Perspective

Recently I’ve been working on staying off social media.  It’s a killer time waster and being Type A, I like to be productive.  So, I’ve taken to checking Facebook and Pinterest when I’m on the stationary bike.  It gives me something to focus on, and frequently I’m on there past my scheduled 30 minute time because I just want to get caught up to my feed!

Part of the bonus is that it keeps my mind sharper and engaged, because seriously, I want to get caught up to my feed, and in order to do that, I have to be able to read and process in a short amount of time!

It also has helped me notice some flaws in my Ego.

Per Dictionary.com: In psychological terms, the ego is the part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it.

Case in point.  I ran across this gem the other day.

You see a person's true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life | Did That Just Happen Blog

My immediate reaction was more on the negative side, my Ego feeling the rejection that comes from life moving and friends moving on.  “Well, he doesn’t need me anymore, he has his new friends”  which translates to “I must be lacking”.

Fortunately, just as soon as I had that thought, my next reaction was, why? Why does this have to be negative?

It immediately reminded me of a girl, she’s not been my friend the longest, but it’s probably darn near close! In the past, her life has sometimes gone off track and she has needed me.  I’ve been beneficial to her life.  And the same is true the other direction, I’ve needed her, and she has been beneficial to my life.

But right now, we aren’t a benefit to each other.  Our lives are pretty good.

Yet, she still calls, and she still reaches out, and we still get together.

And that’s when it hit me.  Her true colors are showing.  I offer no benefit to her life, except my friendship.  She loves me for me and that is all she needs.  I don’t have to be useful to her, I just get to be.

I can’t tell you how amazing it was to have that revelation, that what I immediately saw as “lacking” was in fact a message exactly the opposite.  I just needed a new perspective on things!

It's all a matter of perspective | Did That Just Happen Blog

And this happened a few days ago, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I had to come share it with y’all! What do you think? Do you have a perspective thought or revelation to share?

On SCOTUS and Single Parents

I have mentioned several times over the past year how I’ve become aware of how we bring our own assumptions to the table.  We see things as colored from our lives and not always how they really are.  I’ve shared that this happened to me, someone close to me made an assumption that was very real and valid in their reality; however, it wasn’t what was really happening, and it was a big eye opener for me.  I’ve worked very hard to leave my assumptions behind and see things as they are today, to see people as they are today.  Not as they were when I met them, or last year, or last week, or even yesterday.  Part of my journey to live in the Now has really focused on this.

Allow me to reintroduce myself did that just happen blog

Apparently some days are better/easier than others.  And that’s okay, it helps me learn and grow, but man, those off days…

I stole the title of this blog post from Deborah at The Monster in my Closet for several reasons.  First off, it’s a kick butt title, secondly, it totally applies and third, you MUST go read her blog post by the same title.  

I have massive respect for The Monster in my Closet, she has a wonderful life story, and while we are on different paths, it has been fun to read about her journey.  One of my favorite parts is that she welcomes discussion.  I watch her communicate with others and I really enjoy seeing the different view points and perspectives that show up on her blog!

She posted something a few days ago, on a different media outlet, that immediately sent me over the edge.

And not in a good way.

When the Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage, The Monster in my Closet read it.  Not skimmed it, not read what others posted, but read the actual words set forth by SCOTUS (Mad props for that!) and in that ruling, she found a beautiful paragraph that addressed the children of gay couples, and how SCOTUS took them into consideration.

And, it was beautiful, I found it awesome that the children were addressed; however, there was some verbiage included that pretty much had me reverting to an older version of myself, getting defensive and well, with hands shaking and stomach quivering, I shot off a response.   I was upfront and told her that I recognized I was taking this single paragraph out of context – and I was, but it sure didn’t stop me!

Excluding same-sex couple from marriage thus conflicts with a central premise of the right to marry.  Without the recognition, stability and predictability marriage offers, their children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.  They also suffer the significant material costs of being raised by unmarried parents, relegated through no fault of their own to a more difficult and uncertain family life.

Stigma? Somehow lesser? Material costs of being raised by unmarried parents???

whaaaat? And how SCOTUS decision didn't change my family | Did That Just Happen Blog

I was okay until they threw in “unmarried parents” and then all of the sudden, the ruling became personal.  I have worked so very hard to make sure my son doesn’t feel a “stigma” because he comes from a “lesser” family because he is being raised by an “unmarried” parent.

That was a shot to my heart.  How could I NOT read that as an affront to all I have worked for for 16 years?

No stigma for single parents | Did That Just Happen Blog

There is no stigma there, unconventional, yes.  But a lesser family?!? Them are fightin’ words!! 

Again, in one part of my brain, I recognized I was taking it out of context, but apparently we have found the issue that is still, well, an issue for me! Deborah and I exchanged several emails as we discussed this – not mean or nasty, but genuine emails with a real discussion.  And here is the best part.

While I knew in part of my brain that it was okay, I just couldn’t get the rest of me there.  I was fixated on those words.

Stigma

Lesser

Then Deborah sent me a link to an article posted on the American Academy of Pediatrics site.  And I cried.

AAP has supported families in all their diversity, because the family has always been the basic social unit in which children develop the supporting and nurturing relationships with adults that they need to thrive. Children may be born to, adopted by, or cared for temporarily by married couples, nonmarried couples, single parents, grandparents, or legal guardians, and any of these may be heterosexual, gay or lesbian, or of another orientation. Children need secure and enduring relationships with committed and nurturing adults to enhance their life experiences for optimal social-emotional and cognitive development. Scientific evidence affirms that children have similar developmental and emotional needs and receive similar parenting whether they are raised by parents of the same or different genders.

The rest of me finally caught up.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  My family is whole.

This is my family, I found it, all on my own.  Is little and broken, but still good.  Yeah, still good.  Did That Just Happen Blog

My Son Loves Me

I have been challenged by Tracie at Life in the Wylde West to the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge.  “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph, and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

To see what I’ve posted previously, you can visit Day 1Day 2 and Day 3 by clicking on the links!

Day 4:

My son loves me so very much.

I mean look at this picture of us, it’s clear to see how much he loves me!

Me and Mr. T

He loves me so much that we even dress alike!

And we hold hands!

It’s enough love to make a momma cry!

And it’s a lie!

It’s all lies!!!

I’m not kidding, that photo is one big work of non-fiction!

Yes, we were dressed alike, but it was the day of a Cheer fundraiser, and dressing alike is pretty mandatory, all of the parents were in their cheer shirts.  It wasn’t just me.

And yes, we are smiling and holding hands – but only because he didn’t want to smile.  He was being an I’m-not-going-to-smile-in-this-picture teenager, and well, my hair looked too good for him to not smile!

So, I started tickling him.

He in turn, grabbed my hand to hold it still and his girlfriend timed it perfectly when she hit the shutter button!

Just remember this next time you see a picture on Facebook, what looks like a loving family could turn out to be a pack of lies! 🙂

How to Replace Your Fence in 12 Easy Steps

Winter has finally hit Texas.  And I say “hit”, because that is exactly what happens.  Canada takes a deep breath and exhales gently and sends cold air headed down South.  This gentle exhalation picks up steam as it travels over the States and by the time it reaches Texas, it is gale force winds!

That is totally and scientifically accurate, by the way.

Okay, no, it’s not.  But it is totally how it feels!!

Anyway… I went and ran a few errands on Friday and came home to a fence section being down. I’ve decided to share my knowledge with you!

How to replace a fence in 12 easy steps

After running some errands on Friday, I came home to this:my fence fell down

I rushed inside to see if my dog had gotten loose and if I needed to track him down; however, the little dude popped his head out from under the blanket and looked at me like “shut the door, it’s cold out there!”

He’s not spoiled or anything! But he does lead me right to Step 1:

1.  Go take the broken fence panel and wedge it about 3 feet back so you can work, but your dog won’t escape.  Decide that it’s already getting late, on a Friday, you really can’t accomplish much anyway, so go inside and bundle up and catch up on your DVR

2.  Get up bright and early Saturday morning and head to Home Depot to buy a shovel.  If you wear tie-dye and have a purple purse, the employees will NOT ask you if you need help.   Home Depot profiles people apparently, so you will wander for a bit before someone finally does ask if you need help.  They will then send you to one side of the store.  The shovel you want will not be there.  You WILL run into this same employee on the way back and he WILL send you all the way to the other side of the store and out into the cold.  The shovel you want won’t be there either.  Eventually, you will discover that Home Depot does not consider shovels to be “tools” or “construction”, but “lawn” equipment and you will find it when you decide to stop and see if you need a new grill because obviously the fence isn’t happening.

3.  Buy the shovel and decide that for $30 that sucker better dig up the old fence posts without any help from you!

how to replace a fence

Stop and take a moment and admire the posts and concrete stubs that you dug out of the ground, you have totally earned this!

4. Go back and dig deeper holes because obviously the person before you didn’t have a clue how to do this properly.  When you discover a beam of your retaining wall, and a piece of some type of pipe, don’t admit that maybe the person before you did have a clue – never admit that! Just get to work on the other hole and pray there isn’t an obstruction!

how to dig holes to replace a fence

It’s perfectly normal to admire your newly dug hole and give the new shovel a pat on the back!

5.  Now that you know you can replace the posts, and you won’t have to mount the fence to the house, head back to Home Depot to buy supplies.  Wear a jacket over the tie dye shirt to see if maybe this time they will ask you if you need help.  Discover that it’s the purple purse that must be the issue, and then load up your dolly with some metal poles, brackets, 10′ 2×4’s for bracing and some panels.  Make sure you pull out your phone and take a look at the picture where you measured the space to make sure you get enough panels to cover the space.

Ooops…

4a. Before going to Home Depot, measure the space and then take a picture so you don’t forget!!

6.  Your dad should call about this time to see if you need help.  He’ll come over to help you mix up some Quikrete.  He will bring a magical tool that attaches to a drill that will make your life so much easier and make you wonder how you ever thought that a trowel and some sticks would ever mix up Quikrete.  Also, you will probably want to get your son out of bed, it is noon after all, and those bags of concrete are heavy! Plus, he’ll enjoy using the power tool to mix the concrete!

how to mix quikrete to replace your fence7.  Make a trip back to Home Depot, because your dad said you needed deeper holes and now it takes (2) 60 lb bags of concrete just to stabilize one pole.  Decide that this fence section will be standing long after your house is gone.

8.  Pour the concrete, level the poles and then sit back and admire.  And then stomp off because it is so cold that there is nothing “quik” about the Quikrete and you have to wait until the next day to finish the fence.

how to install poles to replace your fence

9.  First thing the next morning, let every one know how sorry you were for complaining about how cold it was on Saturday when you were digging holes and pouring concrete, because now, it is cold, but it is also raining on you.  And it has rained for hours, so the side of the house is all muddy from the aforementioned holes in the ground.  You should also stand around a bit to try and figure out how to attach the metal-to-wood adapter brackets, and get them level and hold the 2×4 in place and keep it level while you attach the screw.  You should also spill your coffee at this point.  It just makes the morning better!

10.  Give yourself massive kudos that you didn’t drill into your hand as you do that two more times!

how to replace fence supports11.  Start attaching the fence panels.  Bend two nails right off the bat.  Discover that your hands are so cold that hitting your thumb with the hammer doesn’t even hurt!  You’ll think to yourself “Self, you’ll probably feel that later!”  And you would be right, but at this moment, that’s for Future You to worry about.

12. At this point, you should decide to cheat.  Go get the drill, and do the cute girly pre-drill thing, creating holes for your nails on the panels, and then one by one, nail by nail, panel by panel, create a master piece!

how to replace a fence the finished pic

You are done! You have replaced your fence section in 12 easy steps!  All you have left to do is clean your tools, and this part is purely optional, but you can take a picture of how muddy it was and share it with the world! You know, just so every one can tell how much your really did suffer!  Again, purely optional!

muddy shoes