3 Months, 2 Tickets and 1 New Roommate

Happy Pre-Friday everyone!

Twice in the past month I’ve been asked if I miss blogging.  And, I do and I don’t.  So instead of pondering it, I am taking it as a sign and shooting off a quick note to y’all.

1 new roommate.  One of Mr. T’s friends has moved into my guest room.  Over the summer there was no telling who was going to come walking out of that room, but that settled down when one of his friends lost his place to live.  The kid is working and going to school, so I’m happy to provide him a safe place to stay.  No matter how weird it is to have another person in the house!

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2 red light tickets!  Count them, two!  Mr. T is now aware of places where he frequents that have red light cameras.  He and I talked about it, he felt that he has just gotten complacent behind the wheel. I had to giggle, because he is the most conscientious driver I know, the tickets surprised me to no end.  Needless to say, he’s been coming to complete stops here lately!

red-light-ticket-at-did-that-just-happen-blog

3 months… well, I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months.  That still feels weird to say.

Dating. 

But, it’s been fun.  It’s been different.  I’ve enjoyed it. We communicate, a lot.  In a healthy way.  We go get froyo almost every Friday night (frozen yogurt for those that aren’t constantly surrounded by teens and 20 year olds!)  and we go on adventures.  We’ve toured Texas Motor Speedway, and he’s met my family.  Which as you know, my family counts as an adventure some days!

I was emailing a friend the other day, and she was awesome, when I told her that Adam, his name is Adam by the way, and I were in no rush, she goes “I think time and going slow is good for you now. These past couple of years have been such states of transition. You probably are also getting to know yourself in all of these new dynamics.”

Yes, yes I am getting to know myself again.

Speaking of new dynamics.  Mr. T has graduated high school and started college at a small private university downtown.  He knew that he would be living at home his freshman year, so he sold his Expedition and bought a Prius hybrid.  I am so proud of that kid, he saved up his money, he planned ahead knowing that this purchase was coming and he pulled it off!  Since he was commuting, he wanted to save as much money in gas as he could – and even with adding a car payment, the car payment and gas for the Prius was less than gas in the Expedition!  (And the Expedition went to a woman who it was a true blessing for, that was not planned by us, but you could tell there was a Higher Power involved on that deal!)

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Day 2 of college was also his 18th birthday.  My lil’ bit is no longer little.

I’m actually okay with that.

So, that’s my 3, 2, 1.  What’s up with you?

 

Save the Excuses and Look up Dog Videos

So, remember My Ex, who wanted to mend our relationship?

I was open to it and worked hard to remain open, because really, all I wanted to do was slam that door shut.  Lock it.  Throw away the key.  Add a chain.  Lock it.  Throw away that key.  Then put up bricks.

But, instead, I left the door open.

He set up a time to call me.

Waiting for him to call at Did That Just Happen blog

And didn’t call.

A few days later we connected.  Blah, blah, blah.  The discussion was had about how no one has time for anything anymore.  If it’s a priority, you make time for it.  I made it clear, I will never hold it against him if he misses a call, as it shows me where on his priority list I am.  It shows me how important this is to him… or not.

So, then he sets up a time for a second call.

Still waiting on that call at Did That Just Happen Blog

And maybe a 3rd call is set up.

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After a certain point I’m all:

Downton Abby is this an instrument of communication at Did That Just Happen Blog.gif

Now, blog friends, let me fill you in on a secret.

I was really rooting for My Ex.  I really, really wanted him to follow through.  I know that in the past I have provided many opportunities for him, I’ve opened the door and he hasn’t been able to step through.

But…

I really, really hoped this time would be different. As hard is was for me because I wanted to board the door shut,  I was championing his cause to my friends – I knew he could do it! He seemed really sincere and like he really wanted it!  I wanted it for him!  I can’t tell you how badly I wanted him to be able to make this work.  Not for me, but for him.  I felt he really needed this and it would be good for him.

In the end, I had to give up.  The second time it went 2 weeks past the time he set up to call, and he hadn’t, well, I can only hold my pom-poms so long.

Save the excuses, it's not about having time but making time at Did That Just Happen blog

He showed that mending the relationship was not a priority for him.  He showed it every time he didn’t follow through.  Every missed phone call and every unanswered text. No response is a BIG response in my book.

Priorities are making time for others at Did That Just Happen Blog

It is what it is – but I wanted to provide closure for y’all! Sometimes your phone will betray you and FaceTime your Ex and it will lead you on a grand adventure full of intrigue, mystery and suspense!  But, most days you’ll just use it to look up dog videos!

 

The Day I Said a Bad Word

There are two things y’all need to know about me.

First, I don’t use much bad language.  I’ve seen all the meme’s:

People who curse at Did That Just Happen Blog

But I’m from the school of thought that is more:

Intelligent people do not use profanity at Did That Just Happen Blog

(and the “-Me” credited in that quote is not Me, I found that on the internet and couldn’t track it back to the original source!  If you said this, let me know!)

And the second thing you need to know about me is:

I keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer at Did That Just Happen Blog

Yes, I’m that person!

Now that you know these two things… let me tell you how they relate.  And if foul language offends you, well, you shouldn’t have clicked on this blog when it is clearly about a day I said a bad word!

So…

The other day I got a text from my buddy, Bert.

Bad Word Day

So, that happened. My phone betrayed me.  It accidentally Face Time’d my Ex.

And I said a really bad word!!

And while I’m saying all the bad words in my head, I am sending my Ex a text and literally it says

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you, I was asking Siri to beatbox for me!”

Because that doesn’t sound fake AT ALL!!! 

But, he called, and I answered, and I kid you not, told me all about his day – like it hadn’t been years since we had talked!  Like it hadn’t been years since we had talked and he had said he was going to call.  And never did!

Okay, so this is my Ex from a long time ago, and while we weren’t together long, it was an intense relationship, and while I had the utmost respect for him, he and I both will admit that towards the end, well, we were young, tempers were strong.

For the most part, it’s been fine.  We work in the same industry but not in the same State (most of the time) and while we have run into each other at functions, it is rare.

And let me tell you, I swear I could be a secret agent, I am awesome at ducking and eluding capture!!

At least, I am, until my phone decides to betray me!!!! 

Back to the story.  My phone betrayed me.  I talked to my Ex.

For like an hour.

He wants to mend our relationship.

Not get back together, I was able to determine that in that phone call, but just to mend our relationship.

Dean Winchester says no at Did That Just Happen blog

I know that inside my head I was reacting like Dean Winchester – “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no no.  No, no. No”

What came out was “Sure, uh, let me process all this, but I can be open to it”

So that just happened.  And so far I’ve been really grown up about it.  A few friends that I’ve talked to have commented at how grown up I’ve been and how I’ve been handling it so very well, really mature about the whole thing actually.

I changed the ring tone for my Ex to dogs barking… cause he could still be a dog!

But no one needs to know that!!! 🙂

 

 

 

I May Have to Rethink My Entire Life

Have you ever seen the movie “Something to Talk About” with Julia Roberts and Dennis Quaid? It’s set in the South, and one part of the movie has always stuck out of me.  (But apparently it didn’t stick out for the thousands of YouTubers out there as I couldn’t find a clip, but I found this one, and it pretty much sums up the entire movie!)

The scene: a group of Southern Ladies are sitting in a room having their Junior League meeting and discussing the annual cookbook fundraiser.

  • (Junior League President) On to the business of our centennial cookbook.  Wee want it to be our best… so I’ll ask our committee chairman to bring us up to date.
  • (Committee chairwoman) Deadline for recipe submissions is the second.  Think about substituting vegetable shortening wherever it says lard.  I say this because Nell McGee’s husband is recovering from heart surgery.  Lucy’s going to take over for me until after the Grand Prix.  That’s it.
  • (Committee member)-Names
  • (another committee member)-Right
  • (Committee chairwoman) The committee thinks that… Well, we’ve looked at a lot of other cookbooks.  We’ve always been listed with our married names under the recipes.  Frankly, the practice of excluding our first names looks outdated.  So, I think we should list our names: First, middle and last.  That’s all.
  • (Edna) I’ve always thought the way it was looked quaint.
  • (Edna’s friend) It doesn’t look quaint Edna, it looks antiquated.
  • (Edna’s other friend) What about tradition? If my name isn’t there as Mrs. Frankin J. Caldwell III… then how the hell is anybody gonna know who I am? Barbaranelle Caldwell, who’s that?

It cracked me up, because there are some traditions that took longer to break, down here in the South, than others.  Even my mom mentioned the other day that when she was first married, she signed Mrs. John Doe, instead of Mrs. Jane Doe.  So even in my life time, it was not uncommon for that practice!

I always assumed when I got married, I would take my husbands name, it’s just what is done.

Then life happened.

I became a single mother and enrolled my kid in school.  And realized that life was so much easier having the same last name.  And I have worked very hard for my last name.  I’ve been in the same industry for almost 20 years, everyone knows me by my last name.  There is no way I want to change that – nor have a different last name than my son.

I mentioned at a lunch meeting the other day, that should I get married, at this point, I’d keep my last name.  I’d consider the hyphen, but that would just be to compromise.  I’d want to keep my name professionally.

Imagine my surprise when he immediately said “I couldn’t marry someone that wouldn’t take my name.”

The reaction I get when I say I won't change my name after marriage | Did That Just Happen Blog

Really?  Like for real?

Huh.

That was interesting, and he is a younger guy, a new generation, I assumed he would be more progressive than that.

Which led me to a conversation with a good friend, and we were discussing marriage, as he’s in a committed relationship, but isn’t looking to get married – but his girlfriend is! I brought up my lunch conversation from a few days prior, and darned if he didn’t immediately have the same reaction!

He could totally see why I’d keep my last name on the professional side.  And he understood wanting to save the hassle and having the same last name as Mr. T.  But he, too, couldn’t marry someone who wouldn’t take his name.

So, I brought up the hyphen.

To which a visceral response happened! He said that he didn’t know why, and he couldn’t control it, but the moment he saw a woman with a hyphenated last name, his first thought was “b$t@#”.

How do you react when a woman doesn't change her last name when getting married? |Did That Just Happen Blog

He couldn’t explain it, it was just his automatic response.

So, I asked, but then would you be willing to adopt Mr. T? Because that has to be a valid reason, and he said “Of course, in a heart beat a kid like him I’d adopt.”

Okay, so that’s totally where I expected the hurdle to be, but adoption was a non-issue.

The not-changing-my-name, however, was a deal breaker.

Now, before you shake your head and think I’ve lost my mind, I recognize that some of my issues are really non-issues at this point.  Mr. T is older, and so having the same last name for school and medical reasons doesn’t really apply anymore, but when he was younger, it was pretty legitimate!

I just love those moments when you get an insight into the other side of a thought! I had been so sure of my path until those two conversations – and now, well now I get to rethink!

I Might Not Date You If…

We are week 3 into my online dating adventure.

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I have learned that I might need to update my profile to include more detailed information.

  1. If there is gym equipment in the back ground of your selfie… I might not date you
  2. If your occupation is listed as “hotshot”… I might not date you
  3. If you have more typos in your bio than words spelled correctly… I might not date you
  4. Let’s not even address grammar!
  5. If you tell me that you spend most of your time at 24 Hour Fitness… I might not date you
  6. If your user name is “Broken”… I might not date you

That was all just in today’s matches.

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I Got a Smile

I got a smile today!!

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The guy lives in a different state.

Okay, I totally appreciate the sentiment, but I’m not moving to another state! Do I contact him back? Is there a point to it?  Cause just in case you didn’t know, I’m not moving!!!

While I was on the site I went ahead and looked at my “matches”.  I’m learning how to navigate the site and I made a point to look at everyone that the site said I should, plus everyone that fit my requirements.

I wasn’t brave enough to send out a smile to anyone else… I’m guessing that with online dating my thinking that “the man should make the first move” is antiquated, yes?

But, now, every man I looked at will be able to see that I looked at their profile – and then hopefully they will look at mine and tomorrow I’ll have some action!

Well, not that kinda action…

🙂

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