Tense

First, let me apologize.

I am not a niche blogger.

If you came here because I once wrote a funny post,

Looking for funny at Did That Just Happen Blog

a running post

Eye of the Tiger power song at Did That Just Happen Blog

or maybe a cooking post

Gordan Ramsey cooking meme at Did That Just Happen Blog

– and you wanted more of that, on a consistent basis, this might not be the place for you!

And, I truly feel badly over this!  I’d love to write about running. Or cooking.  And heavens knows I’d actually love to be funny!  But alas, I’m a storyteller.  I spin a good yarn.

But that is neither here nor there – I just felt the need to get that out!

Plus Eye of the Tiger is totally my Power Song and when I saw that e-card, well, it had to be utilized!

But today I want to talk about tense.  And this doesn’t fall into any category listed above!

noun

1.

(grammar) a category of the verb or verbal inflections, such as present, past, and future, that expresses the temporal relations between what is reported in a sentence and the time of its utterance
I was talking to a colleague the other day and said “It’s okay, I can say that, my brother was Korean”
He WAS Korean. Like overnight he all of the sudden wasn’t anymore.
I was trying to say that my brother is no longer with us… but he is still Korean, dead or alive – and y’all I have let this twirl and twist around my head for days… I am not sure how to relate that my brother is Korean, but no longer with us, without going into a massively long explanation!
Am I the only one that runs across stuff like this and then freaks when they can’t figure it out? Or, fingers crossed, has someone figured this out for me already?!? Is there an answer? A cheat sheet? Anything? Cause the tense makes me a bit tense!!
Happy Tuesday everyone! 🙂
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45 thoughts on “Tense

  1. There was a time I kept a running list of those things that baffled me and just did not seem to have a solution; there were some very interesting questions on that list. Over time the more interesting questions became buried in the shear volume of unanswerable questions, so I’ve just declared it all to be life and moved on…

    • LOL, I can only imagine how long that list could become!! How awesome that you were able to let it all go and move on, I think that should be all of our goals to most of the issues that baffle us!! 🙂 Thank you for commenting – that’s a good one!

  2. I have no answers for you but I feel your pain. I’ve spent my week explaining present tense verbs to eight year olds. They almost have it….😳

  3. You’re awesome no matter what you’re posting about. I always look forward to your posts. As for “tense” I am not sure I can be much help. I probably would have used “was” as well and hope that the other person knew what I was trying to say. But I am also socially awkward so a lot of what I say comes out oddly.

  4. I love how you posts. What is important to you at the time. I have no rhyme or reason to my badly neglected blog. I just get the urge to put something out there sometimes and that’s it. There is no rule or ‘how to’ book out there for these moment. You just wing it. I am forever referring to family and friends no longer with us as was and then change to is. Then you feel the need to explain. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change how much you love them. I feel a little spesh that I do know your story. I’d talk about him every day. xo

  5. Oh dear lord, now I’ll have ‘Eye of the Tiger” theme song in my head the whole night …Rising up, back on the street. Did my time, took my chances…. PS Tense confusion happens to everyone. They won’t just admit it. 😉

    • Ah! Thank you for letting me know that tense confusion happens to everyone!! You’re right, no one has admitted to it yet – but I knew it couldn’t just be me! (of course, what I really wanted was someone to just give me a hard and fast rule that I could follow! LOL)

    • I think it should be EVERYONE’S running song – it is awesome!! But, then again, I also want it to be Just Mine! LOL! If it doesn’t play when I’m running, at the end of my run I hit my “power song” button and let it bring me on home!! 🙂

  6. Can’t help you with grammar, lucky I don’t need to as you got a couple of good suggestions already. But I want to point out that your blog is one of my favourite ones *because* there is variation!

  7. I like the mix of your blog! So if anyone has been complaining about it they can suck it! Um… moving on! I think most people aren’t going to ask for more information on your brother cause they don’t know him. If they did, they would already know that he has passed away. So for that, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to say that he is Korean. I mean, even though he has passed, he doesn’t stop being your brother so I think that means he doesn’t stop being Korean either 🙂 You could also so my late brother like the ladies further up were saying but that depends on how comfortable you are with putting that out there up front. If it will hurt you to have to explain if they ask or apologize for your loss, then just go with the “is!”

    • LOL! No one has complained, but I’ve noticed some specific people who have followed, and I’m like, yeah, I don’t write about that subject all the time!!
      I think that I just have to go with the IS, cause you are right, he didn’t stop being my brother, so he didn’t stop being Korean… and I’m going to work with the assumption that most people (that don’t know my story) won’t really ask questions! 🙂

  8. Aaahhhhhh that is a really tricky one. I am such a grammar nerd so this stuff floats my boat but that is tricky! I like the use of the word “late” that another blogger introduced above. You could even say “my late brother who was of Korean descent/born in Korea” or along those lines. So tricky! Xx

  9. I also thought your post was going to be about feeling tense, as I am at the moment. My father passed away over ten years ago, and just the other day I read someone’s post with photos of Jakarta in Indonesia. My comment went something like this, “I found this fascinating, because my late dad who was Dutch, was born in Indonesia, and I have many relatives there.” I believe that ‘late’ used in this way is quite correct, meaning that the person is no longer with us. (My dad was such a stickler for punctuality, I know he wouldn’t like to be referred to as ‘late’.) 😀

  10. Holly says:

    Hmm….”my brother is Korean”. Then, if they ask, “oh, how is he?” then you follow up then that he is no longer with y’all? I guess it depends on if you prefer to address it up front, if it comes up again or who is doing the asking.

  11. Am I the only one that runs across stuff like this and then freaks when they can’t figure it out?

    Yup. You’re the only one, Kate. 😛

    Actually, when I run into tense problems that cause inner tension and turmoil, I shift the subject and turn it into the object:

    E.g. ~ I can say that because . . . my parents gave me a Korean brother for Christmas one year. Sadly, he IS no longer with us.

  12. wow – Kate. I don’t know what to say. when I first saw the blog title, I thought you were going to write about “tense” as in “stressed out”. I don’t know what to say about how people address this situation. I don’t think I have thought about it- perhaps the use of certain tenses enables us to understand the continuity of life. There really is no end in some ways and our words helps us realize that??

    • I’m glad the title got you thinking that – I worked hard on it!! And, that’s as good of an answer as any! I am perplexed at how to adequately convey the message without ever having to really talk about or explain it! And, I get that in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal to most, but to me, words are important, they have meaning and carry so much weight – I just want to get it right! (LOL, and there would be my Type A making an appearance!!) Thank you Kim! And I loved changing my calendar to February to see the new piece of art work!!

      • I know what you mean Kate- I do think words carry so much “weight” and they matter. I think your struggles show the power that words carry. I love that you are enjoying your calendar!! thank you!!

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