Recently I’ve been working on staying off social media. It’s a killer time waster and being Type A, I like to be productive. So, I’ve taken to checking Facebook and Pinterest when I’m on the stationary bike. It gives me something to focus on, and frequently I’m on there past my scheduled 30 minute time because I just want to get caught up to my feed!
Part of the bonus is that it keeps my mind sharper and engaged, because seriously, I want to get caught up to my feed, and in order to do that, I have to be able to read and process in a short amount of time!
It also has helped me notice some flaws in my Ego.
Per Dictionary.com: In psychological terms, the ego is the part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it.
Case in point. I ran across this gem the other day.
My immediate reaction was more on the negative side, my Ego feeling the rejection that comes from life moving and friends moving on. “Well, he doesn’t need me anymore, he has his new friends” which translates to “I must be lacking”.
Fortunately, just as soon as I had that thought, my next reaction was, why? Why does this have to be negative?
It immediately reminded me of a girl, she’s not been my friend the longest, but it’s probably darn near close! In the past, her life has sometimes gone off track and she has needed me. I’ve been beneficial to her life. And the same is true the other direction, I’ve needed her, and she has been beneficial to my life.
But right now, we aren’t a benefit to each other. Our lives are pretty good.
Yet, she still calls, and she still reaches out, and we still get together.
And that’s when it hit me. Her true colors are showing. I offer no benefit to her life, except my friendship. She loves me for me and that is all she needs. I don’t have to be useful to her, I just get to be.
I can’t tell you how amazing it was to have that revelation, that what I immediately saw as “lacking” was in fact a message exactly the opposite. I just needed a new perspective on things!
And this happened a few days ago, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I had to come share it with y’all! What do you think? Do you have a perspective thought or revelation to share?
Did That Just Happen Blog 
Definitely all about perspective!! I am very lucky to have amazing people in my life, wonderful friends and family, that love me for who I am and the same goes for me too. xx
Love that feeling and love to hear you have it!!
I got chills reading this Kate, and not just because my Type A personality was loving the idea of social media and exercising at the same time! What a great awareness about how we benefit one another. I am not quite in the same situation, but your message applied to me, only in a different way. I just feel such freedom of some of the dynamics I allowed myself to be entangled in.
I’m glad that you could take away the message you needed! That fills my heart!! And, I’m super glad to hear you’re feeling some freedom 🙂
That was so reflective and very thought provoking Kate, I’ve been trying to figure somethings about myself and my ego too, and this was a kind of thing that I’m sure will help me out in understanding a lot of things about myself. I’m really thankful for this post 🙂
I’m so glad you liked it and that you could take away your own message from it! It’s not always easy when my brain (and my ego) always want to go one direction – and I have to work hard to redirect my thoughts!! I hope that you find the understanding you’re looking for!
I hope so too, Thanks Kate 🙂
One of my favorite quotes is something like “Character is how you treat someone who can do nothing for you.” I know many people who are sweet as pie when they want something. It’s how you act when you are after nothing and that person is not just a method of getting something that shows what you are really like, so I agree with the quote you showed and your thoughts about it.
Thanks!! And yes, I try my best just to giggle and shrug when all of the sudden “that” person is being nice… I know they must need something! LOL.
Yup, it’s all about perspective.
and it makes such a difference!
Glad you are using your time well.
Nice to have such friends.
It really is, I’m so shy and struggle with a sense of community, it’s nice to have those there just to support us!
I have a couple of really good friends like that; one in particular. I like to think that I’m that sort of friend too. 🙂
That’s my goal! I want to be the friend that is there just because I love ya, it feels good to have them there!
When both parties let go of “what’s in it for me” then true friendship remains. Great insight Kate!
Thanks Val! I always knew I had them, but this is the first time I could actually point out specifics and it was pretty neat to carry that around with me!
That meme is spot on. You learn everything about a person when they’re at their highest and when they’re at their lowest…
You do! I know I have a ton of acquaintances and colleagues; however, it was great to know I had those that we’d been through the highs and lows and we were there for each other anyway! 🙂 Hope all is well, you’ve been busy!
And, best of all, your mutual friendship benefits you both
Yes! And this realization gave me such a new appreciation for it, too!
I had to think about this one for awhile before it sunk in. Now I get it. I LOVE that quote. When someone no longer needs you and still hunts you to maintain the friendship – they are the special ones. That is gorgeous x
I was the same, I had to think about it, too – because my first thought was the exact opposite!! But then one of my dear friends popped in my head and I realized that there was such value in that quote!
Nothing like having a friend that offers no benefits or one to whom I don’t necessarily derive any benefit myself. I have a few of those. It helps me sleep better at night.
It really does! I’ve always been grateful for those in my life just because, but I think this was the first time I could actually and honestly state that we were in each other’s lives just because, and it was pretty awesome!