This weekend my reality was challenged. It was very hard to let go and NOT have a double standard… In fact, these are the words that came out of my mouth “Well, if you were gay, I’d let you do it – so I don’t really have a reason why you can’t do it since you are straight.”
I didn’t have a valid argument. This was a situation that in my mind shouldn’t happen because “you are a guy”.
And, it’s true, but not valid!
Here’s a hint:
Now, let’s back up and get the rest of the story!
First, we’ll start with a gratuitous shot of me and Mr. T – He’s in his Easter outfit thanks to Grammy and Papa – and just looking so handsome!
Really, there was no point to the inclusion of that picture!
Now onto the story, a few days ago My Amy texted me and the conversation went something like this:
Yes, it does!
Haven’t seen you in forever!
I know, but I think the sun is coming out, so I’ll probably be leaving the house soon!
We should get together… want to do something this weekend?
Want to go across the border?
Cha-ching! Of course I do… because just across the border is where you’ll find the casino! She had to work that morning, and I was volunteering at the food co-op mid-morning, so we met at my place at noon, went and picked up another friend and took off!
It was so much fun! We walked the length of the casino and then back again, trying different machines along the way and just catching up with each other!
I would like to say I was strategic and parlayed my small pocket change into a large fund; however, I wasn’t strategic! And, no, the casino didn’t end up giving me a big check; however, I won enough to make me a very happy camper!
I told Mr. T that I’d be paying off our weekend fun, but that we should do something special together with the leftovers!
He picked pedicures.
It was a good idea, there is something about being in those chairs that invites conversation, and really, who doesn’t love a good foot massage! As we were sitting there, he looks at me and goes “Can I get a color?”
No, of course you can’t get a color. You. Are. A. Boy.
That’s what I said in my head. Actually, I may have screamed it in my head!
What came out was “If you want.”
I grew up in a culture where boys didn’t wear polish.
But, my parents grew up in a culture where boys didn’t wear earrings and that never phased me. Mr. T got his ears pierced at a young age. He doesn’t wear them often now; however, that never bothered me.
So, maybe I’m old fashioned. Maybe I need to be the one to loosen up and let it go.
And, I’m not kidding, I told Mr. T that if he was gay, I’d totally understand him wanting polish – so I didn’t have a reason for saying no just because he was straight.
Then Mr. T goes “Can I get hot pink?”
Go big or go home, I guess.
And that’s how I ended up with a son with hot pink toes sitting next to me at the nail salon.
And that’s how I ended up struggling with the double standard.
It was hard letting him walk out the door this morning. But really, is there a valid argument?
Because it isn’t societal norm. Because I’m not comfortable with it. Because it isn’t done.
None of that is valid.
None of those statements represent the person I want to be.
On one hand, it’s outside my comfort zone. On the other hand, I’m so proud of that kid for being who he wants and not being bound by societal norm.
Yes, it’s a double standard, and yes, sometimes I still struggle with it.
But this morning, I was the person I wanted to be and I watched my son walk out the door with hot pink toe nails being the person he wants to be.
And I smiled, ’cause yeah, that just happened.