16 Ways to Know you Have a Teenage Boy

In honor of my son, Mr. T, who turned 16 on Monday, I thought I would bring you

16 Ways to Know you have a Teenage Boy

  1. Your water bill has gone up.  This is due to extended showers.  I fully believe that this is due to a sudden interest in cleanliness.  This is the story.  This is the truth.  I refuse to believe anything else.
  2. The fact that there must be a force-field around all of your laundry hampers is a genuine concern.
  3. You understand what Snapchat is, how it works and yes, you are worried.
  4. Food disappears.  Like overnight.  Like if you wash a bunch of grapes and lovingly pluck them from the stems and put them in a bowl in the fridge, make sure you eat all you want right then.  They won’t be there in the morning.
  5. Serving sizes become meaningless. The note that says “Serves Four” becomes “Serves a mom, a teenage son and 3 tablespoons will be left over.  Too little to save for tomorrows lunch but too much apparently for the human garbage disposal to eat.”
  6. You’ve heard the perks of living at home, and they don’t include love, they include Food, Shelter and Wi-fi.
  7. You start to wonder if eyes really can roll back into a head, and if so – is it worth a trip to the emergency room? Didn’t you warn them when they were younger that “If you keep making that face it will stick that way?”
  8. You’ve had a conversation and then had to sneak onto the internet to translate what was actually said.
  9. You know what Kk, Bae, Molly and Poppin’ Tags all stand for.
  10. You’ve had a complete conversation where all of the answers you received were in the form of sighs and grunts.
  11. There have been days when you communicate via Twitter and Text more than you talk in person.
  12. “Can I drive?” Is the most common phrase in your house.  You even start hearing it in your sleep.
  13. You have to troll Twitter to find out what is going on in your kids life. #StalkerMom
  14. Mysterious phone calls start coming in.  Sometimes these phone calls require hanging out in the back yard.
  15. Clouds of aftershave/deodorant/cologne is becoming a permanent feature in the bathroom.
  16. You have heard the “Mom, I need my space” talk.

If any of the above has happened to you, you might be raising a teenage boy!

And you know what?

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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