I Need My Space

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My son had that talk with me this weekend.

“Speaking of our adventures, I think you need to have some without me.”

… (insert deadly silence from me here)…

“I think that I need some space, you know, to hang out with my friends-“

“when have I ever stopped you from hanging with your friends?!?”

“I’m not saying you have, I’m just letting you know that as an example.”

I’m not going to lie, I was blindsided by the conversation, but I was really proud of the way he approached it and the way he handled himself.  He went on to state that he was growing and was ready for some time on his own.

I’m so very proud of the man he’s becoming and feel really good that I’ve raised him to want to spread his wings.

But he’s nuts if he thinks I’m letting him go just yet!

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40 thoughts on “I Need My Space

  1. I remember when I went from “Mommy” to just plain ole’ “Mom” . . . heartbreaking! But it happens . . . they grow up but we keep seeing them as “little boys” right? My son will be 22 soon. The years fly by . . .

    • The years do fly! Just yesterday my son and I had to talk – I told him “you said you wanted space, but you are acting like you want complete and total freedom and independence, and that isn’t happening at 15, or even at 16!”

      He thought it over and came back and told me that I was right, and that he “appreciated that I was listening to his request for space and not just blowing him off”

      We both decided we are still learning! 🙂

  2. I’ve crawled out of my hole (and finally writing a new post!), just in time to read this one from you. Oh, the pain I just felt! It already bothers me when Jake would rather spend his weekend days at my house with his friends instead of me. I don’t want to hear that conversation but I know it’s coming.
    {happy late birthday!}

    • I’m glad you’ve crawled out of your hole! The only reason I haven’t been worried is cause I’ve seen you on the big P! And yes, the pain is there… But also some pride in knowing that I’ve raised him to want the space. And some dread! Lol. So today we went to an indoor trampoline park and had a blast!! He’s not escaping my adventures just yet!!

      • Yeah, I knew that you’ve seen me pinning so you weren’t worried.
        I hope that Jake turns out like your son. Especially the way he approached you abour it. Seeems like most teenagers would start a fight or stomp around.
        Glad to hear that you’re still including him on your adventures 🙂

  3. Now that is why I didn’t have children. hahaha I do think it is pretty cool that he’s mature enough to talk to you., and you seem to be handling it well. hahaha Good luck! It does get better and becomes an even closer, with space added ,relationship from here. 🙂 I’ve seen it and it is really beautiful!

  4. Don’t worry – he will always be your boy and will occasionally hang with mom! My son (now 20) still will sometimes surprise me by stopping by work to eat lunch with me or coming up behind me and giving me a big hug. But I did have to face the hard fact that he no longer feels that spending his time with me is as exciting as spending time with friends.

    • It’s not quite fair that I’m not as exciting as his friends – but, in the end, I want him to develop strong friendships, so I’ll put on my big girl panties and deal!

      And you are right – he’ll always be my little boy! 🙂

  5. As a mom to four girls, I have to say that the way he approached this was brilliant and mature. A definite difference from the way my two oldest handled similar wing spreading discussions! There is definitely a fine line between holding tight and letting go! May the Force be With You!

    • Thank you so much for saying so! I just love that little bugger, and despite the fact that today getting him to speak more than 2 words at a time has been a struggle, I think that overall, he’s going to be okay, and I know I have several more years with him, so I better not waste lamenting it now!!

  6. I am always impressed by the relationship you two have. It is understandable that he wants to have his own space at his age. However, the fact that he came to you and spoke to you about it shows his concern and sensitivity for you and your feelings.

    • Okay, Larry, I never really thought about it that way… and now I’m going to cry cause my kid is even better than I thought he was!!
      Thank you for showing me that side of the conversation, I think seeing that helps heal me a bit, because if he can approach me in a way that shows concern and sensitivity for my feelings, then how can I not let him have space?!? 🙂

  7. If I heard this from my kids, I will be feeling sad and yet proud at the same time like you do! Sad that they grow up so fast that they need space away from their mum, and yet proud that they are ready to spread their wings like you put it! You crack me up with the last sentence! We’ll never let them go so easily, even if we have to use remote control 😛

  8. That’s sweet. You’ve done a great job, he loves you and likes spending time with you, but is mature enough to know what he wants and how to assert himself, politely. Awesome. 🙂

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