And then had to go change my underclothes.
Yup, I’ve hit that age.
I’ve been to the optometrist three times so far trying to work out my contact prescription. The problem was, right before Vegas I realized I was out of contacts – well, I’m not traveling half way across the country without a back up pair, so I popped on over and he gave me a pair to wear to test the prescription and a back up pair. As soon as I put them in, it felt wrong. He said to just give my eyes some time to adjust.
It’s been a week and it still wasn’t right, so I scheduled an appoint to go back in. Well, my right eye is blurry, but we can’t bump it up anymore because I’m seeing 20/20 at a distance. We can lower the script in my left eye to help balance things out.
Okay, so I’m currently wearing that script.
But, do you know what this all means? It means that pretty much as soon as I turn 40, I will need reading glasses.
Yup. I’ve hit that age.
I’m at the age that I have started singing alone with the elevator music.
Conversations with my friends have turned into a competition of who has the worst ailment.
I seriously don’t recognize half of the people on TV now-a-days. Kelly Ripa has been on vacation, I haven’t recognized half of the women brought in to guest host with Michael Strahan.
Driving down the road the other day I thought “He’s a cutie”. And then gagged when I realized he might not even be old enough to drink yet.
All young people are starting to look the same age to me.
In just over a week I will have officially hit another milestone birthday. I’m not worried, but I’m pretty sure I’m not prepared, either!
Did I mention the reading glasses?
At least I can still be useful:
44 thoughts on “I Sneezed”
my favorite and very relate-able line “I seriously don’t recognize half of the people on TV now-a-days.” I feel like I live under a rock, seriously. I’m 4 years in and so far and, well. Hum. It’s just weird. Reading glasses (check) I get hot more, I get more pimples than I have ever had in my life. I don’t get it?
I don’t get it either!! After all we’ve been through, isn’t life supposed to get easier?!? I don’t need more issues thank you very much! LOL
I have the same problem every time I try to go on the trampoline. It turns into a rush for the bathroom. Sigh.
hahahaha! That’s awful! I love a good trampoline, but it’s been years since I’ve been on one, and based on what I’m hearing – I’ll probably have to start staying off!
Love it! I remember when I turned 40 (a few years ago)! Ugh! But I think I actually despised turning 30 worse than turning 40! Don’t ask me why! HA! I guess somehow I thought it was all “downhill” from there! I should warn you though . . . once you hit 40, you tend to forget where you are in the whole scheme of things . . . as far as age goes anyway. I can’t remember the second number, and find myself counting on my fingers from my birth year or saying “I’m forty-something” so I’m not embarrassed that I have to do simple math on my fingers (darn calculators!) And THAT’S if I can remember what year it is . . . HA!
LOL!!! Too funny! I am not really worried about turning 40 – but man, it’s like my body just flipped a switch – “Oh Kate, you are turning the big four oh! Let’s see, time for glasses, time for your bladder to become even worse”
Of course, having said that, I’m out of town at a work conference and the first text I sent out this morning said “Help, the tattoo isn’t coming off!!”, so I think I’m doing pretty good! 🙂
Oh my goodness they really are reading glasses. That’s so.. hilariously lame.
On a related note, can you get a diaper/thong? No, I’m just asking it’s.. for a friend. No, really, I am convinced that product really exists and I want to check.
Okay, I made the mistake of Googling “adult diaper thong” because how funny would it be! I was going to include a link here and everything… DON’T GOOGLE THAT!!
We will just say that the product doesn’t exist!
Thanks for putting yourself in the firing line there and checking. 🙂 My mind can rest!
So true – and I love the caroon of the glasses. 🙂
Thanks Paul – I did, too, and I needed to make light of if – it’s happening sooner than I expected!
Soo funny and so true Kate 🙂 You always make me laugh. On the upside I think we get a little wiser too!
Thank goodness for that trade-off!! I think I can handle falling apart because then I get to be to wise sage.
And, then I get to start doing funny things and saying “When you get to be my age (fill in the blank)” 🙂
Well, I have a few years to go but can totally relate to the “sneeze pee”…2 kids can do that to ya…but don’t give in to the ailment conversations! Don’t do it!! ;(
That wasn’t supposed to be a winky sad face. Is that even possible. Ha!
I refuse to give into the ailment conversation!! Actually, I feel badly, because there is nothing wrong with me. I take iron when I’m feeling anemic, and I take a daily vitamin… but they are gummy vitamins, so it’s not even a hard core one!!
I joked a few months ago that for Christmas I needed to get everyone a daily pill dispenser due to all their meds.
They didn’t find it funny.
Oh, so much I can relate to on this… Thankfully the cute “reading glasses” are keeping me from feeling too old 🙂
There ya go! I was more worried about price and going to hit the Dollar Store for the cheap ones! Now I have to find cute and fun reading glasses!!
The cartoon is hilarious ( Must remember to hide from Don ..) I have a feeling that’s what my thongs look like ….
I have contacts – one for reading and one for distance. It took a bit of adjusting, but so much easier than looking for those darn readers all the time!
Welcome to the next decade of adventure and acceptance of time going by.
I took up yoga in my 40’s … you see , there’s still time!
There is still time! Maybe now that I’m 40 I’ll get it! 🙂
I can’t wait for the time when I can have those contacts! And I’m glad to hear that you adjusted to them, cause I’d much rather have special contacts than keep up with the readers!
I love this post and I’ve got a couple of decades on you, youngster.
🙂 I’m so glad you enjoyed it – and it’s nice to have you ahead of me lighting the path!
That picture still has me laughing! So funny! Happy Birthday early. I’ve heard many people say that their 40s were their best. Plus, what 20 year old do you know who can tell these types of stories (aka confessions)? That makes you so much cooler, right? I just hit 34 a couple of weeks ago and I’ve fooled myself all these years into thinking that I’m still in my 20s. I wonder how much longer I can continue to do that.
I fooled myself into thinking I was in my 20’s until just a few weeks ago!! 🙂 I really do feel like I’m in my 20’s – with lots of experience and cool stories to tell!
Sometimes my body tells me otherwise… or my son, bless his heart, we were moving furniture the other day and he goes ‘Now, be careful, I don’t want you hurting your back.’
Gak. I’m THAT old!!!
I almost had to change MY underclothes after reading the cartoon! Over 40 isn’t so bad. I did have to get bifocals shortly after 40 and have had to update them twice since then. As for the incontinence issue, having had 4 children that’s been a problem of mine for YEARS! No sneezing, no coughing, no trampolines. Aside from that, I have truly enjoyed life in my 40’s. I just know that you will, too! Just don’t get caught sneezing or laughing with a full bladder…
LOL – I’ve had slight bladder issues, but yesterday was the first time I really had to go change my outfit! I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to laugh or cry over it!
I am going to find some cheap reading glasses, right now I don’t need much help, and I always said it wouldn’t bother me – but I really expected a few more years before I had to!!
YOur story about the optometrist made me think of my friend. She now almost has a panic attack before an exam . I can’t tell you the number of contact lenses “options” she has been through. (P. S. I have also been thinking of your Vegas trip and the group who went to Denny’s. 🙂 We are traveling this weekend and staying, I hope, far from chain restaurants!)
I don’t want my eye sight to get worse, but I do look forward to the day I can try bi-focal contacts! Those things intrigue me!
And, oh my goodness!! I still crack up over Denny’s, too! Mr. T and I eat at a lot of local places anyway, we prefer that over chain restaurants, and I just don’t think I’ll ever understand their option to pick Denny’s – when I had already mentioned several other places close by that were just as reasonable in price, but were LOCAL!
Yeah, I just can’t get started on that again! LOL. Have fun on the trip!
If it makes you feel any better, I cannot read the small print from your last pic….therefore I would be of no help. See what happens when you hit 43!!!!
Okay, that does make me feel better! It really does! 🙂
I kind of loved turning 40. Things started going downhill after 45.. 🙂
I’m still not using reading glasses – but know I should because in a dimly lit restaurant, I have to hold the menu at arm’s length to even have a chance at reading it. 🙂
And don’t get me started on the incontinence. For me it’s coughing. When I get a bad cold/cough I cringe because I know it will mean multiple outfit changes a day.
I really think I’m going to enjoy my 40’s… but man, I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry yesterday after that sneeze!!
I love the idea of reading glasses, I think they make me look so very posh! But the reality is a bit different. I have a pair hidden in my desk that I put on yesterday when I had a long run of computer work to do… sadly, it helped!
I quite like the way I look in reading glasses too! I just get a headache if I go from looking at the menu to looking up and out, because it makes my distance 20/20 vision (I’ve had laser eye surgery) completely distorted. it actually makes me woozy. It’s never easy, is it?
No, it is never easy… that’s the God’s honest truth right there Nancy!!
That cartoon is hysterical . . . “sweet angel of death.”
My favorite age (so far) . . . 37. Everything still worked, and I had gained life perspective.
I was 37 for almost two years! LOL. I must have liked that age 🙂
(I just kinda forgot my age until a friend pointed out that I was really only 36… but that realization happened just a month or two before my real 37 birthday! So, I was 37, and then 36 and then 37 again!)
wait til you hit 60, Hon…
hahahahaha Jeff, good point!
At this stage, I am looking forward to 60 – I want to be one of those ladies that dies their hair pink and blue every month!
Naw — that doesn’t start until 70
Forty is not that bad you will see, it’s just a number keep telling yourself that.😉😉😉
I’m not worried about the age so much, I’m really looking forward it… not so excited about the new developments happening in my body!!
Lol yes have to agree with you there 😉
And I welcome you Kate with open arms! Welcome to “that age” 😉
LOL!! Thanks Dean… I think!