Thanks to the World Wide Web, we have a ton of information at our fingertips!
For example, did you know there is a proper order to put your make up on?
Thanks to Lenacy you now have it all in one handy dandy diagram.
Want to know how I put on make up? Slather on foundation, curl lashes, line and color lids, smear on blush. Put up make up bag. Get make up bag back out cause you forgot mascara. If I have time, I might paint on some eyebrows to even mine up. That’s a mighty big “IF”.
Thanks to Fit Body HQ, you can now have the Ultimate Butt.
I’ll tell you honestly that I don’t have a clue what a glute bride/hip thrust is. I thought that was a dance move I learned in middle school, and normally a grunt was part of the move. And whatever Bulgarian Split Squats are – they sound painful.
Oh how I wish! I’d love to do a cute cheese tray like Real Simple suggests; however, is it wrong to tell you that it would be lost on my friends? No offense friends – but you gotta admit, you’d look at that and go “Kate has too much time on her hands!” You guys love the jalepeno/grape/cheese cube that Amy puts together for the parties (which I showed her, by the way!) and really, no matter how good the Mountain Gorgonzola is, it can’t compete. (P.S. when you see Gorgonzola dressing on a menu – it’s just blue cheese dressing.) (You’re welcome.)
Thanks to Better Homes and Gardens, we learn that the proper way to serve buffalo wing bits is with an expensive lollipop stick… Apparently the $2 for 1000 box of toothpicks I have just isn’t cutting it.
Penney at My Journey to Live and Authentic Life, and my Pinterest buddy, you haven’t seen my garage…
Oh, Martha Stewart, you have so much more time than I do!
Yes, we have a world of information, tid bits, tips and guides at our fingertips.
And 90% of them are useless.
Having said that, I will be making dinner tonight based on a recipe I found on the internet, so, sometimes that 10% that’s left over does come in handy!
Did That Just Happen Blog 
Jesus, do people really DO any of that? It’s a good day for me if I change out of my pajamas and take a shower. Butt work out. Ha! I didn’t even know you COULD fold fitted sheets. They were made to be wadded up into tiny balls.
I know, right?!? I read some of that and was like, dude, I’d never make it out of the house if I had to do that!!!
I’d never make it past make-up. If that were my schedule, all I’d ever do is put on my make up in the morning, have dinner, then take it off again and go to bed. Every day.
A woman after my own heart..Oh I clean the heck out of my face and moisturize it up the wazoo, but mascara gets thrown on and gloss stick on the lips, at most…and then there is the occasional need to spot concealer, but that is it!
As for the rest, yeah, I have my other [at the moment, sorely neglected ] blog, Tonette Joyce, Food,Friends, Family, for people to see that they don’t have t have oyster forks on the table to have guests for dinner. Good job!
LOLLIPOP STICKS? Those things are thick and blunt. Good luck sticking those in a wing and then not dropping it!
LOL Tonette! I still laugh at how the internet is full of such information!
I have to admit, I didn’t read anything that came after that “Ultimate Butt Workout” graphic…
hahahahahahahha! 🙂
This is so great! If I implemented that make-up regimen in my life, I would lose Sylvie. I barely get a swipe of mascara before she’s rifling through the drawers or hanging on my legs or catapulting herself off high places. Needless to say, I am a thing of beauty most days. Also, my garage…yikes!
Lol!! I never nap during the day, but one day when T was little, I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and he had gotten into my makeup and dumped foundation all over his head. I have only used powder or stick foundation since then!
I’ve been on the road so internet has been sketchy at best, so I’m late to the party…
Let me start by saying “Hello. My name is Mountain Gorgonzola. You killed my father, prepare to die.”… no really. I think I am actually Coconut Gouda. I do appreciate a good cheese! 🙂
Thank you for pointing out that in a world of information overload we really just stick to what we know, and what fits in our overly busy lives!
LOL!!! You have made up for the sketchy internet connections by making a Princess Bride reference! 🙂
That was so so on point. I am just happy if I remember to brush my teeth in the morning
Thank you! That’s exactly my point!!! 🙂
Haha! Well you know you totally won me over with that fitted sheet ecard. And I couldn’t even focus on all the steps in that makeup thing… I’m pretty sure that I’m doing good just to slather equal amounts of whatever on both sides of my face.
Yeah, if anything takes longer than 5 mins, I’m out! I get bored too easily! Too much life to live to spend time trying to fold that fitted sheet! Or put on that much makeup! Or learn how to do a Belgium side squat! Lol
Haha I don’t even know what a Belgium side squat is because as soon as I saw that perfect little arse I was like *scroll scroll scroll*
The trick is definitely to get good at discarding the 90% rather quickly… or you find yourself in a position where it would have been quicker to properly fold your sheets. But less interesting, so I guess you still win.
LOL, it’s that 90% that sucks me in, though!
The make-up diagram made me wonder just how large this person’s bathroom is. Where does all that stuff go?
The fitted sheet cartoon made me laugh. I don’t even attempt to fold those. Grab, wad up in a ball, DONE!
Lol, I know!! Some of it makes me wonder what types of lives some people lead!
Isn’t this the truth!
Thanks! 😉 We ain’t got time for that!
ha ha! My Pinterest buddy …. guess I haven’t seen your garage but I’m sure if you check my Just Sayin’ board, I have a pin for that 🙂
hahahahahaha! 🙂
Kate! I’ve done Bulgarian split squats! Weren’t painful until the next day! Haha. Love the makeup chart too 🙂
All I know is I hate real squats, so I can’t imagine putting the words “Bulgarian” and “split” in front of it makes them any better! LOL
Good to see you back – I hope all is well!
Great post! My sadness is that there are people out there who take all of this stuff seriously. haha!
Not really! No one would really do that, right? 😉
I can’t imagine who would!!! I mean, I’m all about presentation, but lollipop sticks? Bulgarian split squats? Those pumpkins?!? I don’t have a busy life, but I sure don’t have time for all of that!!
Oh dear, I wouldn’t know what to do with all that information – especially since I don’t wear make-up and don’t exercise! I once tried to make chicken lollipops though, it didn’t look anything like the photo above! I do love the wide world web though, especially since it allows me close-contact with my family who lives in the other side of the world! Isn’t that great? 🙂
Okay, there are some really good things about the world wide web!! 🙂
I’m so glad that you’ve tried the chicken lollipops! Of all of the pictures I’ve gathered, that was the only one I was tempted to try… I mean, I don’t want to be a heathen by just setting out a jar of toothpicks! Super happy that it’s not worth it!
Holy makeup routine Batman! I’m exhausted just reading it.
No kidding!!! That was the first one I found and it inspired the whole post – I mean, really? If it takes me more than 5 minutes, then it’s too much!
absolutely!
Kate, I love your humor!! The makeup steps, I would never leave the house if I attempted this.
LOL! I read that, and I understood the basic concepts, but all I could picture was that it would take me 30 minutes and I’d end up looking like a clown!
While I know most of your readers are woman, a few tips for us men would be nice. Note I am feeling left out.
hahahahhaha! So sorry Larry! As I was gathering these the past month, I really was just focusing on my reaction to them! I have no clue what tips and tricks are out there for men that seem unreasonable, but I’ll keep a look out! Hope you guys are staying warm!
Just busting your chops Kate.
Have a great weekend.
So true but I still loooooove it!
I think that you and Monkey should make those pumpkins… right after you do the Bulgarian side splits! 😉
If my makeup takes more than 5 minutes, I run out of patience! I’m like, “eh, it’s good enough!”
Me too. I was never good at the “beauty” routine. Now I live in a beach suburb it’s often au natural for me!!!
haha! Love this…especially the flow chart of applying makeup. lol! I love the first parenthesis after wash face (other skincare routine), as in what? There is so much nonsense on the internet but the 10% of goodness is good. I couldn’t even read the butt workout because it was too hard not to look at the butt. 😀
and one more question, is Martha still crafting? Haven’t heard much on her these days. Oh Martha, at one time she was a verb.
I hesitated on the butt shot, because it was awfully – provocative – which I suppose was the point, but it listed off exercises and body parts that had my eyes spinning! I’ve been collecting them for months and making notes of my real reactions to them!
You know, I can’t listen to Martha speak, it just drives me nuts how soft and modulated her voice is – and her hair in her eyes! What is she trying to hide? But, I did discover that she is tolerable when the “mute” button is pushed! LOL. I don’t know where she is… I think her last daily talk show was cancelled… huh.
I’m not Goggling it! That would lead me to the 90% of the internet that is bad for me!!
You did a bridge/hip thrust dance in middle school? Thats pretty awesome, I think we only got the opportunity to square dance!! :0…
Oh, I don’t think it was sanctioned! I think we walked around and did a hip thrust and grunted… I think 3 grunts was the standard.
If it’s on the internet, it must be true! LOL
Naturally!! 🙂
Martha Stewart would choke if she saw half the things I do lately…but I totally wad up the fitted sheet, I just can’t figure out how to fold it right.
On another note, the toddler walked up right as I scrolled down to the butt workout. Thanks for that! 🙂
hahahahahahahha! Okay, now that’s just greatness!
All that make up sounds like what an 80 year old harlot may wear (no offense to any 80 year olds or harlots who may read this).
My tip: Put on foundation after eye makeup to clean up any powder that may spill over from eyeshadow.
Butt workout? I’m doing “Chair-Assisted Desk Stances” now.
🙂 Great post!
LOL, I’ve been collecting those for a bit now, every time I ran across something and was like “gack! there is no way any human really does that!” 🙂
I’ve heard that tip about foundation after eye make up! Sadly, as much as I want to implement it, I am such a creature of habit that I keep forgetting!
Crikies, it’s rocket science!
LOL – pretty much! 🙂
Wait till you get to the butt workout…