Everything Happens for a Reason

As I mentioned in Opening Opportunities, a random conversation at lunch set in motion a huge series of events.  While I was feeling at peace with the decision, it was still a big decision.

3 c's of life

I did track down Mr. T’s father.  He did acknowledge me and told me he would call last weekend.

He never called.

Tuesday night I took a deep breath and told Mr. T.

ME:  So, I found your dad.

T: Yeah?

ME:  It was on a professional networking site, I messaged him and gave him my email and cell phone.  He did text me back that he would call over the weekend.

T: (hopeful look on his face)

ME: He didn’t call.  I’m so sorry.  I wanted to just tell him about the random conversation at lunch the other day, and the fact that when I mentioned it to you that you were amicable to talking to him.  I was going to get his permission to give you his number and then you could contact him when you were ready.  I’m so sorry, but he didn’t call – I guess that is a sign that he’s not ready.

T: That’s okay mom, I’m glad that we tried.

ME:  I’m so sorry.  But at least we’ve given him the opportunity – like all of the others – maybe one day he’ll be ready.

T:  Mom, really, it’s okay, you don’t have to keep apologizing.

everything happens for a reason

What a blessing I have in my son!  He’s a great kid and my heart breaks on his behalf.  Of course, I’m probably more worried and upset than he is!  Now, because I love him so much, you get to be treated to a few pictures of him!

photoa

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I know you've seen this one, but it's a great shot of me and the BD boy!

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34 thoughts on “Everything Happens for a Reason

  1. Oh man, that is so sad. Mr T is a real treasure. My heart breaks for him being so understanding as I’m sure it hurts him inside. He seems to have a maturity beyond his years. Here’s to you doing a bloody fabulous job super mom!! You deserve those memes!!! xx

      • I am sure it has had a lot of moments but I am sure he wouldn’t have had it any other way either! I admire you so much and all single parents.

        Yes he was! I love the first one the best! 🙂 Glad I could light you up and make you smile 🙂

  2. Look at this … I go away for a month and what the heck is happening around here? Thanks for sharing your story. I always wondered what the story was about T’s dad. Some days, I don’t know what’s better, not seeing his dad or dealing with him all the time like I have to with Jake’s dad. Mr. T is lucky to have you as his mother 🙂

    • Thanks! I have to go with the fact that it is easier not to have his dad randomly pop in and out of his life – structured and scheduled a kid can deal with. The flip side is that without his dad around, in T’s mind he can be anything! He can be a super hero! (Fortunately we are passed that and T is grown up enough to know that his mind will wander on him).
      All in all, I’ll take not ever having to deal with him! 🙂 I am counting my blessings that I don’t have to – and don’t have to share! 🙂

      • My neighbor is a single mom like you, her ex hardly ever shows up. Some days I envy her – and now I can add you to my list. Right now, things are quiet between me and jake’s dad so the only thing that sux is when jake leaves to go to his dad’s house. Keep us posted or you know you can email me if you want to talk 🙂

  3. You handled the whole thing with class, grace and dignity. Good for you!! There’s a quote from NCIS (I love Gibbs) I’d like to share with you:

    “We certainly cannot pick our fathers…but the real tragedy occurs when our fathers do not pick us.”

    Mr. T’s bio-dad has no idea what he’s missing out on. T’s a great kid, just like the woman who raised him.

  4. I love Mr T! How did you bring up single handedly such a fine, decent man?? I have so much to learn from you. He could perfectly understand the situation, how you feel and your feelings are more important than his own! You can’t have a son better than him.

    • Thank you Christy!! I appreciate your kind words! I’ll admit that most days I’m just making it up as I go along! 🙂 But, it was also a lot of time spent getting to know him, and paying attention to what he responds to best. He really is such a blessing – I know I’ve said that over and over again, but that’s just the best way I know how to describe it!

      I love the expression that “things happen for a reason” – but there are too many times that I’d really like to know what the reason is!! A hint – just give me a hint! LOL

  5. Nice job being honest with Mr. T. I hope he feels as loved as he is by you because your love is what matters. The inability to show it on his dad’s part doesn’t mean it isn’t there and he needs to know that too even if it is little consolation. You’ve done a great job!

    • Thanks Kerry! I’ve always tried to tell him the truth, and since some of the truth will hurt him, I try to make sure that I have lots of love in my heart before I have to talk to him. I mean, I work hard to let go of any anger or resentment I might have and am feeling, because I don’t want that to be part of the conversation. Which of course, helps me too.
      Anyway… That was convoluted! Lol. Thank you! I really appreciate the kind words!

    • I know, but it’s good to hear. I need that reinforcement. The things in life I want to control the most, and are the hardest ones to turn over to Him, are the ones that I really need to!! I did pray the other day “I have no clue, and that’s okay, I’m trusting You.” I think short but to the point worked well that day!

  6. It’s amazing that he can take this so easily. I don’t blame you for feeling bad for him. It sucks that his own father is not ready to have a relationship with him. Huh – ridiculous! Well, he’s lucky to have a great mom.

    • Thank you MMK! I sure don’t understand his fathers attitude at this point, sigh, but it’s not my job/place. This is one of those things that I really want to be able to control, I don’t want my son to be hurt, so naturally, this is the primary thing in my life that I can’t control! Lol. I wish I knew what was going on in Mr. T’s head so I could adjust and help accordingly; however, I think this is part of his journey and not mine. Thank you so much for your kind words, I truly appreciate it.

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