I have two names. Well, technically, I’m sure I have more. There are 3 names on my birth certificate – and a totally different one on my social security card. If I ever have to get a passport, I may be in trouble there, but until it presents a problem, I have no desire to fix it. (Okay, I’ll tell you, I know you are dying to know. My dad told my mom that she could name me anything she wanted, but he got to pick my nickname. My mom gave me a great name and my middle name is my Grandmother’s. So, my formal name is on my birth certificate; however, when dad got social security cards for all of us, he filled mine out with my nickname instead of my full name!)
If you’ve read anything on my blog, then I’m sure you know that I’m a single parent. The bio father isn’t involved at all, but when I’m lucky, I do get child support. That’s another long, and at this point, boring story.
I’ve read several blogs lately that deal directly and indirectly with this subject. One was about how any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. I truly believe this. (Check out Smirking Cat: http://smirkingcat.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/a-real-father/) Yesterday I read a blog that listed 10 reasons why being a single parent rocks. I cracked up; it was all so very true! There are so many very reasons why this is a blessing and it’s easy to overlook that fact when mired in the day to day life. (Check out Prego and The Loon: http://pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/ten-reasons-single-mommyhood-rocks/) Nothing against those of you that have a more traditional life as I totally respect that. My parents have been married to each other, and only each other, for 40 years now. That is just not the path that I have, my journey is different.
I am very fortunate that my son has wonderful men in his life. My father and my brother have always been there for him. More than a few years ago, I signed up for the Big Brother Big Sister program – and after a few years on the waiting list, we were paired with Rowland, who was amazing. Sadly, in less than a year he had to move back to New Jersey to help his parents. He still stays in touch, and he has been a great resource for Mr. T. I also have a great friend, BA, who I had lunch with yesterday, and as we were leaving, he said that it had been awhile, so he’d swing by to hang out and see Mr. T. He’s been a good resource, too. Mr. T will text him and even invited BA and his daughter to his last birthday party. Mr. T’s babysitter for years and years is now as close as family, and she and her husband are a second home for Mr. T. It’s just a given that he will spend Spring Break with them and spend several weeks during the summer with them. He is former military and a strong, calm presence. So, I am very blessed to have wonderful people in my life to help and be there for my son.
Some days I do feel that he is missing something. The fact that I would get out in the yard to hit the ball with him, or toss a football, didn’t always seem to be enough. Until the day that Mr. T gave me a new name. He called me Steve. I died laughing and asked what on earth was he talking about?? He goes “you are both my mom and dad, so I figured you needed a ‘dad’ name.”
My heart was overflowing. I have a dad name. And I answer to it, too.