Last night I picked Mr. T up from school about 6:45, once theatre rehearsal was done. We went home and I sliced up the take-n-bake pizza I’d purchased over the weekend that we never got around to eating, and we sat down and watched the last 5 minutes of The Big Bang.
Yes, I know that you shouldn’t eat in front of the TV, I know that eating at the table with your child is the best thing for them. But, it’s boring. And, it’s not like that would be the only time we saw each other or we talked. Most morning when Mr. T is done getting ready for school, he comes into my office and sits on the couch and we chat for a bit (I’m usually already working by the time he gets up). We review our schedule, we talk about his friends and classmates, we discuss theatre and wrestling. I almost always make him run errands with me, so he’s frequently trapped in the car with me, and we’ve had some good discussions when we’ve been trapped. We had a discussion this Sunday, as a matter of fact.
Once he got old enough to have access to phone, text, computer, email, etc., I was very clear that as his parent, I had to make sure he was being safe and being appropriate, and as such, there is no privacy on electronic devices. He has learned over the years that I will randomly pick up his phone and check his text messages and his pictures. And his videos… yeah, learned that one the hard way – check the videos!! And, while I know he deletes stuff before I can see it, I haven’t told him that sometimes just hitting delete doesn’t make it go away! Take Facebook for example, when you delete a message, it doesn’t go away, it goes to your archive box. This weekend I just happened to log onto his FB account and he had a chat session going, and he said something that made my jaw drop. I did a screen shot and emailed a friend of mine, BA, and said “Should I be worried??? I think I should be worried!”
I won’t go into details, needless to say, at this point, I will never, ever win mother of the year… Ever! And, after about 24 hours of obsessing over what he said, I was able to say “what has happened, has happened and what will be, will be, but thank God it turned out okay”. Even though what he mentioned happened in the past, I felt the need to make sure he knew that I knew about it… So while trapped in the car, I brought it up. His eyes filled with tears. He didn’t shed any, but I could tell that he was taken aback and felt ashamed that I knew. We have a pretty open relationship, so I asked him why he never told me about it and his response was “I thought you’d be mad or upset”. Well, sweetie, if you think it would upset your mom, odds are you shouldn’t be doing it!!
It was discussed. I hope that we both are in a better place because of that discussion, but only time will tell. I love this kid, he’s pretty darn amazing. Yes, I’m bragging on him, but the reality is that I’ve been very blessed with him. And, while the situation caught me off guard, our relationship hasn’t changed, it has just evolved.
Back to my original point. Last night, after the 5 minutes of Big Bang, I expected T to disappear into his room. He didn’t. He refilled his milk glass and sat down and watched Bones with me. I love Bones – that’s one of my all-time favorite shows! 30 minutes into the show, I’m starting to get suspicious… He hasn’t left, he hasn’t gone to the depths of his room to play Xbox. In fact, he said it would be nice if I made him another glass of milk. I said it would be nice if he made me some hot chocolate. HE DID. After an hour, Mob Doctor is coming on. Now, this show intrigues me, but I’m not addicted to it – normally this is when I’d pick up the house or do other random things, but I was so comfy cozy with my hot chocolate. I figured T would go to his room – I mean, the computer must be calling him, right? NO! He sat there and asked if I watched that show. I said, yeah, sometimes.
Another 30 minutes goes by and I can’t stand it anymore. I pause the TV. “T, is there something you need to tell me?” Cause at this point, I have no clue why he is spending the evening with his mom. He made a joke, I played along, and at 9:00 pm he got up and said, “Okay, I’m going to bed. I love you”
“Uh, yeah, Love you too – take your dog.”